Ok. At the gym I go to there is a black guy my age (22) who works there who is a personal trainer. I have never hired him but he is very friendly and always come over to help me with the machines, and with advice. Although I ussually don't give guys the time of day at the gym (I'm there to work out), I have always been nice to him because of his outgoing personality and--I admit it--his muscular bod. He's ripped and not bad to look at! Anyway, the other day he comes over and starts saying motivational things while I'm working my legs. Something catches my eye, and I realize that the guy is getting physically excited while watching me. You know how workout clothes are..I could see that the man is blessed. He kind of slinked away quickly and has been shy with me ever since. The whole thing--from his SIZE to his shyness--was a huge turn-on. I can't get it out of my mind. I was raised not to think in racial terms, so I feel guilty that this interracial thing has turned me on. Advice?
2006-08-31 03:51:46 · 44 answers · asked by Kimberly J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I work in the fitness industry and just a few observations....#1 We are expected to be helpful and friendly, as well as give advice so he may have just been doing his job. #2, please be careful how you proceed as to NOT put his job on the line. (if you are truly interested and he also is - you can smile at him, chat with him, and see how things proceed). Make sure he IS NOT married.
#3, if he still seems embarrassed, let time go by and he will assume you did not notice his endowment. :}
Some clubs discourage trainers from dating members, so once again, please use caution.
Keep working out and have a great day!
2006-08-31 03:57:48 · answer #1 · answered by dddanse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a person is sexy, then they are sexy. I think you contradicted yourself at the end of your excerpt by saying that you were raised not to think in racial terms but go on to say that you feel guilty that this interracial thing has turned you on. Don't sweat it though. Even the best of us sometimes have our innermost hangups about race. I know that I do but I try not to be racist. I have white associates and I find some white men attractive but I haven't and probably won't date a white man. Back to the issue with the fine @ss personal trainer from the gym...As women we get great pleasure from seeing a guy that we find attractive being physically aroused by the mere sight of us. It makes us feel powerful, sexy, and desired. There have been a few guys, white and black, at my gym that get my motor running and I feel especially excited when I am exercising regularly...I don't know if that applies to other people though. If you really like this guy and want to have more contact with him, strike up a conversation with him. Just say hi and how's it going. See how he reacts. If he totally clams up, give him a day or so and then just ask him if he has a girlfriend. That would let him know that you are interested in him on a personal level. Just calm down and smile, all of THAT could be yours for the taking.
2006-08-31 04:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by intentionalmasterpiece 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, honey the man is trying to do his job, that's why he's so "friendly". And he's a MAN and can't help how his body responds to stimulation. So do the guy a favor and leave him alone and try not to embarass him anymore than you already have, ok? You want him to get fired? If he's interested in your, he'll tell you. If you must hit on a fine, black man, look around and see if he has any friends who DON'T work at the gym. Godloveya.
2006-08-31 03:56:39 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He didn't sound all that shy to me. In fact, it sounds like he knew what he was doing.
However, there's nothing wrong about interracial anything - I hope that's really not the crux of your question. If he's got a nice body, etc., fine, whatever, that's up to you.
Personally? The guy sounds like a total creep. If a guy, even a pleasant one, came up to me in tiny work out shorts or tight clothing to show off his excited goods... yeah, I would probably report him. You don't go from "hi, you're making real progress" to "hey check out my [insert noun]" in a few minutes!!!! And it be appropriate in any kind of public or professional setting. O.o
2006-08-31 03:57:49 · answer #4 · answered by UnrealJuju 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were raised to no think in racial terms, then you shouldn't feel guilty about being attracted to him. I think you should talk to him some more or ask him for more tips and see what you can find out about him. Sounds like a healthy attraction to me...GO FOR IT.
2006-08-31 04:07:53 · answer #5 · answered by 4eyed zombie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're turned on because he's of a different race. He turns you on because he's him! If he wont talk to you... go up to him either before or after your workout. Ask him out for a drink. No harm in doing that?
A close friend of mine met her husband at the gym.
2006-08-31 03:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i was you I would ask him out to Lunch to see if your interests are the same and dont worry about other people life is to short. Also you may find instead of a partner a best friend
2006-08-31 04:11:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont care whether he is black or white, but i wonder about any color guy who would do this. i mean jesus christ, its so pervy and strange. almost stalkerish.
just be careful. that seems really really gross that he would get a hard on looking at you in a public area while you are working out. i mean what if he is really horny and cant get off any other way but to watch people at the gym
2006-08-31 03:56:15 · answer #8 · answered by Eternal Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he was embarrased shows he is a sensitive guy~ THIS IS A PLUS no matter what race a man is. I say go for a relationship and see if it leads to love and sex.
2006-08-31 03:58:07 · answer #9 · answered by dbzgalaxy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you need to bust a move
just approach him at the gym, and saying something quirky to break the ice. hes embarassed by what hapened and probaly thinks YOU think hes a loser or weirdo....just belike "hey i miss all that free advice" or somthing to draw him into a conversation....
dont be afraid to go after what you want...he sounds hott, and you know what they say about black men.....go get him girl!
2006-08-31 03:56:38 · answer #10 · answered by workn2live22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋