Im from a conservative family and my parents are stirct when it comes to marrying a guy of my choice... i dont wanna marry some1 else cuz i already chose some1 for myself n v know eachother quite well since 5 yrs, we get along really well n wud also wanna get married soon but how shud i let my parents know this besides tellin NO to the proposals that they've been geting for me... my parents are very caring n i wudnt wannahurt them any way
2006-08-31 03:48:43 · 20 answers · asked by indian girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, they do not have to spend the rest of their lives with him! However, YOU DO!!!
2006-08-31 03:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where are you from? I've never heard of this in the U.S. Are all of your friends' parents arranging their marriages? Was your parent's marriage arranged?
I've known many conservatives and they don't arrange their children's marriages.
How is it that your parents have no idea that you have a significant other in your life, especially if they are so caring?
It sounds like you and your parents are miles apart on how a young woman should proceed with marriage. I think it is important to realize that someone is going to feel hurt since everyone has opposing views. You have the legal right to marry your boyfriend in which case your parents are going to feel hurt. If you follow your parents wishes, the man you marry, your boyfriend and you will all be hurt. Or you can stay single and say you are not yet ready for marriage and hurt yourself and your boyfriend. Would he wait a few years until they realize that you are not going to get married to anyone else?
Maybe I'd tell the boy your parents have selected that you don't feel that you could be a good wife to him and he deserves someone who would be excited to marry him. Ask him if he has someone else in mind. Maybe he could address the issue from his side.
Also, could your boyfriend's parents or your boyfriend give them a proposal for you?
Your parents should want happiness for you and so if you marry your boyfriend and they are truly caring it shouldn't hurt them.
I just looked up arranged marriages in the United States and it said that there are arranged marriages in Japan, India and Pakistan and that only these groups arrange marriages in the United States.
2006-08-31 04:07:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try explaining to one parent - alone - that you love, respect and honour them for the way that they have parented you and given you such good morals. When they are hooked into the genuinely felt flattery, go on to explain that you feel troubled and anxious about the future. Get them to commit to ensuring that they have your happiness and security as their highest concerns. And that it should be a matter of honour for them to publicly affirm your place in their family. Sometimes it is helpful to remind parents that respect is a two way street - but beware as it may not be worth a fight in the early stages. It may also be helpful to ask your parents to check out the family of the guy you have feelings for. It may be easier to get them to involved this way.
If all else fails - cry, for days and days. No father can bear to see his lovely daughter so unhappy.
2006-08-31 04:20:16 · answer #3 · answered by zpom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them what you have written here. That you care for them very much and you know they love you but you have found someone you love and want to marry him. If you are old enough to get married you are old enough to stand up to you parents and tell them what you want. You are the one who has the final say in who you get married to. This is the good old USA. Your free to marry whoever you want. If your live with your parents and you think they will be mad at you for your decision than better get your own place to live first. Good Luck
2006-08-31 04:13:07 · answer #4 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that you love someone else and that if they really love you they will let you decide who to marry. You cant let your parents make you marry some1, if they really love you they will listen, tell them that. If you marry the guy they chose you wont b happy, cuz u will know that there was 1 guy u luved and u guys mit b living ur dream life together. Just dont marry the guy they choose unless u truly luv him its not far to u, or they guy u marry.
Hope this helps, and good luck!
2006-08-31 03:57:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always make your own choices especially when it comes to marriage. It is already the most important/difficult decision of your life and you do not need anyone telling you who it should be. What century are we living in, that parents can still tell us who to marry!!!
2006-08-31 04:41:32 · answer #6 · answered by jpet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain that you don't love him & that your heart belongs to another. You should also tell your parents, they seem like they care alot about you so they should understand if your in love.
2006-08-31 03:54:50 · answer #7 · answered by 3m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the year 2006... if you don't want to marry someone.. nobody should force you to.. parents or not... say no... and marry the man you want to marry
2006-08-31 03:55:13 · answer #8 · answered by Lyne B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you remind your parents that you are the one who has to live with this person for the rest of your life not them and u wouldnt want to wake up one and realize u cant go on living a lie. God would not be pleased with them if they forced u to someone u did not love.
2006-08-31 03:54:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are Indian. In india/pakistan we always follows our parents regarding marriage becoz they take all the responsibility before and after marriage. So pls. think about your parents.
2006-09-04 02:04:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your life, not theirs. Maybe you need to move out and be on your own. Have you thought about doing this?
2006-08-31 04:00:53 · answer #11 · answered by sheeny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋