He laughs it off, but I am offended. He and I share expenses, and we get along well. Like most women though, I am territorial with my home. So I don't like anyone criticizing my place. She started out with comments like, "Look at that spider-web"! Recently, she comments on everything! My roommate and I think it is just fine. I used to be a housekeeper, so I think I can adequately judge a clean house, even if it gets kinda messy (which it sometimes does). He doesn't take the houskeeping as seriously as I, but I don't worry...SHE does! She says she likes her house "nice" (we live in an older mobile home; hers is more recent). We have been told by others on more than one occasion that our home is nice. Why does she find such need to comment?? Does she want to move in herself and take over the duties? Apparently NO; she's already said she much prefers her own home (it's bigger, and apparently nicer).
2006-08-31 03:45:58 · 17 answers · asked by deonne r 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She is definitely over-stepping!! For whatever reason, she is trying to make you look like a less-than-perfect housekeeper to her man!! She must be insecure, so she lashes out at you! Her boyfriend, instead of laughing, better see this for what it is-- jealousy, esp. if un-founded, as your case sounds, NEVER gets better!! He better start watching her for further signs, & get this one behind him, unless he is willing to deal with a lot of heart-ache in the future!! I would find a time when he is gone, & calmly reassure her that you two are ONLY roomates, & that how you keep house should not concern her!!
2006-09-07 20:47:41 · answer #1 · answered by Betty T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe she is over-stepping the boundaries by a long shot! As you live in a shared house the only place that concerns her is your roommate's bedroom. The rest of the house should be the concern of the people who live there. She's probably just trying to consolidate her hold over your roommate by seeing how much she can get him to change. I'd tell her if she doesn't like the way the house is kept then either fix what she doesn't like or stay away!
2006-08-31 03:51:37 · answer #2 · answered by chalqua 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you are dealing with jealousy on her part. Another woman living with her man - she is likely just pointing out your flaws so that her man can clearly see she is the better woman (and she can find nothing more incriminating than less than "perfect housekeeping" - something I personally think is a waste of time). Rather than moving in with you she probably wants her man to live with her or alone.
I would be tempted to take her aside and tell her that I don't really care what she thinks of my housekeeping and she can either keep her opinions to herself in my home or she can quietly instruct her boyfriend about how much better a woman she is than me in private.
Though, if it is jealousy, making you angry might be part of the plan too - maybe you will move out and leave her man alone. Maybe the best course of action is to just laugh at her silly insecurity and let it roll off your back. Or hand her a feather duster everytime she complains.
Peace!
2006-08-31 03:56:18 · answer #3 · answered by carole 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your friends GF'S comments are rude and intrusive. Your friend sounds PEE whipped....and if he tells his GF to shut the heck up he knows he won't be rocking her trailer ....!!!
The best way to handle the GF and her comments is NO engaging or responses to her rude comments. Or...counter act the comments about spiders as, " I like the spider web...at least I know I won't have flys" Down playing her comment will probably work!!!
The girl friend sounds insecure and these kind of people always think what they have is better than someone elses....I feel real sorry for your friend....because he's so blind he can't see the forest for the trees!
2006-09-08 02:27:24 · answer #4 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her to stuff it. If she doesn't like the way you clean your house, she can simply stay away and have her boyfriend go to hers.
I would also tell her that a spider web is not a sign of a dirty house. Spiders can whip those things up in minutes. We clean our house on a regular basis and as soon as your done, a new spider web pops up. It's normal.
2006-08-31 03:59:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're female, right? -- and if you're rooming with a man who has a girlfriend... that pretty much explains why she's doing it.
It's definitely a territorial thing. She finds you a threat in some way and will have no qualms about embarassing you to look bad in front of others ---especially your roomie-- to make herself look better than you.
She has no intention of taking over your house, she just wants to make you look and feel like an inferior woman than her.
So either ignore her nitpicking, or talk to your roomie. There's no excuse why he should tolerate that kind of offensive behavior and he needs to put her in line.
2006-08-31 03:50:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
She probably feels threatened by you. Yes, she's over-stepping her boundaries. I would just try to ignore her. You don't want to ruin the relationship you have with your roommate because of this inconsiderate, rude woman. If you and your roomie are comfortable in your home, don't worry about what others think!
2006-09-07 04:53:25 · answer #7 · answered by Laurel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems like she is, but there's not much you can do about it without fighting with your roommate. I had something similar happen before...and I still have a mother in law who likes to make me feel like I am trashy and dirty everytime she is over. Just try to let it roll off...ignore the comment and smile. Some people are just insecure or miserable so treat other people like crap to make themselves feel better!
2006-08-31 03:50:26 · answer #8 · answered by nic_tammyscott 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2006-08-31 03:47:39 · answer #9 · answered by Chuck N 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to visit her house more often. He is allowing her to disrespect you. Some people are just plan ignorant. It is an honor for someone to invite you over their house. He probably should dump her, she sounds contentious.
2006-08-31 03:48:44 · answer #10 · answered by mackdingy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋