I never spank her, i just talk to her, and send her to her room.The
problem is my husband (biological father) hes too strict , i usually tell him not to be so strict,what should i do ? he's not violent, but goes over the limit,with his stern face, and screams.
2006-08-31 03:17:51 · 29 answers · asked by latin l 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You answered your own question as to he problem:
"I never spank her"
try it sometime.
2006-08-31 03:21:55 · answer #1 · answered by Judy the Wench 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have a 7 y/o also, but boys don't do this. At least none of my 3 do/did, and they are 7, 14 and 29.
I'd suggest sitting down with her when things are calm, and show her a short list (which you'll post on the fridge) of unacceptable behaviors (screaming, kicking, punching, etc.). Let her know that at 7 yrs old, she's way too old to do these things, but that if she does, then here's what will happen:
1st offense: a stern but quiet warning to her.
2nd offense or if she continues: Removal of a favorite item (TV, ipod, video game, whatever she loves) for 24 hrs.
3rd or if she continues: Loss of a second favorite item, and neither one is returned for 3 days.
That's all I'd have on the list, but if the behavior persists, then remove EVERYTHING except her bed and linens from her room, and send her there immed. after school until dinner time, when she eats, bathes, and returns to her room. Just 24 hrs of this may be enough to stop it, but if not, keep it up til she stops the unacceptable behavior.
No friends, phone calls, parties, playing outside, etc. until this stops. And do not talk to her except at the dinner table, and only if she's civil. Otherwise, total silent treatment. Trust me, she'll give it up.
I don't think sending her to her room - if it's filled with her stuff, toys, TV, etc . - is stern enough punishment for this situation.
2006-08-31 03:29:50 · answer #2 · answered by Momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the problem. everyone believes that you should go to parenting classes, send children to time out and all that other stuff but the truth of the matter is the need tough love.
When my sister and I were young, we never tried all that fly stuff like throwing tantrums because we knew what would come after. You need to stop being nice and put fear in your child's heart so that they will know who is the parent and who is the child. It is alright for you to talk to them and worn them but when the problem persists you need to put it to an end and let them know that the behavior will not be tolerated. I am not saying that you should be violent and throw them around but you should not let her run over you because this will continue to happen as long as you let it.
In other words you should tear her little legs up every time she thinks she is in charge.
2006-08-31 03:29:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Watch one episode of Supernanny...
four points are always made....
1. Routine, structure, and consistency are important for children. So is attention.
2. Parents need to be on the same page as far as reactions to negative behavior and disciplining children. And do not have these discussions in front of children. They always pick up on who the weaker parent is, and exploit that.
3. Give your child expectations and rules, and enforce them. Even when it's not convenient. Even when it's in public. Even, well, all the time.
4. Give positive reinforcement for good behavior. It will go a long way.
2006-08-31 03:49:07 · answer #4 · answered by Karen? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and her biological father are sending two different messages to the child. You both need to talk and be on the same page when raising your child. Your husbands screaming is ridiculous for one! All that does is frighten the child and she retaliates and blocks him out She takes her anger out on you. You should enroll in parenting classes or something. A child who hits and screams learned that behavior from someone. Now it's up to you to get help for her and you to resolve that. Your the parent!
2006-08-31 03:34:51 · answer #5 · answered by ????? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to TOTALLY ignore her when she screams and throws a tantrum. Just let her ride it out. When she's done, put her on a time-out (not in her room ) in a place where there is nothing for her to read, look at, play with, etc. for about 5 -7 minutes. Tell her she needs to sit there, be quiet and think about her behavior. When she is done, she can go. Later when she is relatively calm, sit down with her and tell her her behavior is shameful and unacceptable.
2006-08-31 03:33:04 · answer #6 · answered by doggoneit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Screaming and talking is not getting through to this kid. You did right sending her to her room. You and your husband have to be on the same page with the discipline and not show any division in the ranks when dealing with her, or she'll sniff it out like a hound dog and use it against you...divide and conquer...and it works, doesn't it? What does she love more than anything? Take it away. Take all of her stuff out of her room except her mattress on the floor. Then, when she's better behaved you can start returning things to her one by one. If she misbehaves, they go back to you. I know it sounds harsh, but it's better than visiting her in jail every Tuesday 10 years down the line! Dr. Phil has a great book on this. Read it. Godloveya.
2006-08-31 03:23:02 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should try being a little more stern. You have to let your children know that you are the boss and you mean business. If they see that you play into their hissy fits, they are in control. I ignore my daughter until she calms down and then when she tries to talk to me nicely or ask me a question, I stop her and make her apologize for the way she acted and make sure she understands that she will never treat me that way again. If she doesn't own up I won't listen to her.
2006-08-31 04:18:21 · answer #8 · answered by ticklefoot 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to spank her! Let her know that you dont put up with the tantrums. Everytime she starts, tell her that if she continues that she will be punished. Talking to her and sending her to her room is obviously not doing the job. When her father gets strict with her, does she straighten up? If so, you need to do the same thing or she's going to continue doing the same things. If she doesnt straighten up when he gets strict with her, then a more strong approach needs to happen.
2006-08-31 03:26:35 · answer #9 · answered by Ash 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He needs to take it down a notch and you need to take it up a notch. Your child fears dad and has NO respect for you. It is time that you pick up a switch and work her back side over. My wife gets upset anytime I swat my daughters hand when she is reaching for stuff she don't need (electric sockets and the like). She is soft hearted (that is why I love her) but she has a hard time turning a deaf ear to a child that NEEDS to be allowed to cry.
As parents it is our job to make kids tough so they can deal with the realities of life when they leave the nest. You need to get tough on her and follow dad's lead on discipline but he needs to cut back on the screams. As for stern faces....that is what dad is for.
2006-08-31 03:32:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely and positively the worst environment for a achild to grow up in is with one parent too strict, and the other too lax. Kids desparately want to know where the boundaries are. In this situation, they aren't ever in the same place. At 7, you, he, and your child are about disfunctional. You all need to get into family counselling if this kid is going to grow up in "the real world" where there are indeed exact boundaries to behavior, both in a family, and in the workplace. Good luck
2006-08-31 03:24:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋