Got this guy harrassing me, claims he loves me - and I beleive it, however, hes got a jekyl and hyde personality, hes nice -to me and generous on ne hand - but does things so I only find out about them accidentally, or work it out for myself, he has serious jealousy issues, is older than me and quite jaded. On rthe other hand guys mean spirited, cruel unkind and acts in an unloving way towards me, one moment hes being nice to me the other times hes calling me names - I even got ill over this. Its like hes punishing me for something, when I first met this guy, I honestly though he was the right one - but his behaviour shows otherwise, and where as I do have feeling for this guy and would spend the rest of my life with him - I cant becasue of the things he does to me, cant get a restraining order, prayers arent solving the problem
my hands are tied. He says he knows I love him - but actually im not sure
2006-08-31 02:49:07 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
thank you to those who have replied with serious and helpful answers, to the others - and you know who you are - shame on you
2006-09-07 02:31:40 · update #1
tell me who he is and i'll beat him up just for you!!
2006-08-31 02:55:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tell him you don't want to see him anymore. Tell him that you're not the one for him and to go find those other fish in the sea. And thank him for all that he's taught you but that you need to move on. And be prepared to call the cops and get a restraining order if things get ugly. Make sure you tell a friend or brother, etc when you plan to do it so that they can be nearby in case you have problems. It sounds like he has the capability of being violent if you say this. Just be prepared and if he just goes away, then great. But just keep an eye on this one because he sounds like bad news. Good luck and stay strong!
2006-08-31 02:59:05 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My eldest daughter has had a similar problem until quite recently , the only way forward with this is either make him get help with his issues , which in my experience is more difficult as people get older or cut all ties with him , nobody should have to put up with abuse no matter what and abuse is not a sign of love , here's a little story ( true as well ) to help you and make you think : about 2 years ago i was doing some work for an elderly man ( about 70 or so ) and had to go to his house to get some reference numbers off his vehicle , anyway , the chap had to go into his house for his keys and i waited outside for him to return , almost as soon as he went into his house his wife started shouting at him and he shouted back at her this went on for a couple of minutes until things quietened down and he came back out i took the numbers and left thinking ' how bonkers is that ' but after thinking about it for a while i realised that this man and woman had probably been married for maybe 50 yrs and in there old age they still didn't have any peace , think of this tale and consider could the relationship that you have with this man end up like this , if so then your best advice is walk away , personally i would prefer to live alone than with someone who abuses me . I wish you well in making your decision and hope i have helped .
2006-09-01 10:20:30 · answer #3 · answered by saint 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your situation is one of the famous problem of all the women in this earth. I use to be in your shoe before. Many times that situation happened to me. But only one thing you can do is to be strong. Since you have the restraining order, you can report to the police and they will come to your house and lock him out. Just be sure you have your restraining order with you. One thing I can tell you, if you did not do it now you will suffer for the end of your life. Always remember there is another life after death. I do the same thing and I win it. Now I have my peace of mind. You need to move on and start a new day.. Good luck
2006-08-31 03:00:24 · answer #4 · answered by marilou a 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This person is a predator and you are his prey. Get a restraining order, thats step one. It won't stop him but it will get some official recognition of the fact that there's a problem. Ask the police to get you a panic button.
Move house if you can. Change your phone number. Get an answerphoen. Don't answer the phone to him. Don't answer the door to him. Get your locks changed.
Don't contact him. Its over.
You don't love him. You don't like the way he treats you. You are scared to end the 'relationship' and thats NEVER a good sign. He calls you names and makes you ill. Thats not love, thats control.
They act nasty so that when they're being nice you feel relief that the pain has stopped. Thats not love.
Get help from Womens Aid. Good luck.
2006-08-31 02:55:57 · answer #5 · answered by sarah c 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
SOunds like he is manic - depressive to me (ie: Bi-Polar). My first husband was. GET AWAY!!! 1st step like many have said is a restraining order. Definately keep a log from now on. But before you go for the restraining order, make a list of things ihe has done that is harassing with approximate dates. Change your phone number and have the new one unpublished and unlisted. Move if you can. If you explain to your landlord you are being stalked and you have the police reports and restraining order he may let you out of the lease. Whether you have feelings for him or not is mute. He is scary and dangerous. Get away from him.
2006-08-31 03:07:59 · answer #6 · answered by Liz 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Oh you're fortunate! i favor to come across a snake in my living house. Hmm, so the great element to do will be to call an animal professional to go back and get rid of it. do not attempt something your self. My chum got here across a snake in his living house about 2 years in the past mendacity contained in the solar through the pool. He stated as a pro and after describing the snake, he became advised that it really is danger free and he could get rid of it himself. He advised them to go back because he did not wanna contact it or perhaps as they arrived and observed the snake they advised him he became fortunate now to not have touched it seeing because it became an extremely risky snake. My advice, do not take opportunities and get it bumped off asap formerly you've this is mate and finally toddlers living with you!
2016-12-06 01:03:53 · answer #7 · answered by lamp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy has some serious issues with his past, maybe a previous relationship which he is transferring on to you, or childhood traumas, either way, you are the mechanism that strikes a cord with painful memories. He seriously needs counselling, if he wont go, leave him, believe me he wont change without help, and he may get violent.
2006-09-06 08:41:21 · answer #8 · answered by Hunny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get shot of this dude while you can. He is a manipulating, controlling and grinding you down. You say words like "harass" - you do not want to be with this guy, clearly. Prayers aren't going to help you love - you are going to have to delete him from your life. Wouldn't you rather be with someone you could laugh with, feel comfortable around and who appreciated you? It might take some time and a lot of effort on your part but get support from family/friends. Tell them what is happening to you, do not be embarassed or ashamed - you need and deserve some support with this. All the very best to you.
2006-08-31 03:05:50 · answer #9 · answered by rondavous 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hmmmm. Sounds like a tuffy! I have been in a similar situation. I was dating a guy and he was absolutly wonderful to me! We got engaged and a day later it all changed! He didnt want to see me as much any more! NEver called when he said he would, i even caught him talking to other girls that i had never met. But when i confronted him about it all he still claimed i was all he wanted and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me! I eventually had to let him go cause it go to the point i was crying everynight! maybe you should talk to your guy and tell him how you feel. tell him you feel like you could love him if he would let you! Honestly you have to make your own decision. nothing anyone says on here is going to help! trust me i've been there!
2006-08-31 02:56:03 · answer #10 · answered by *~*~*BABYDOLL*~*~* 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't understand why you can't get a restraining order. As for the name calling I have been there. My husband did the same thing to me. One minute he would be telling me how wonderful I was, I would leave the room to do something and then come back and he would verbally attack me. He never hit me, but he didn't need too the words were bad enough. You need to get rid of him. You might have to move if you can. But please be careful. These type of men are very unstable. Go to your local police department and tell them what is going on and give them a description of the car, and his license plate number. I am sure you can get a restraining order.
God Bless and Good luck
and PLEASE be careful.
2006-08-31 02:55:55 · answer #11 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋