I love a girl and her mom thinks that her daughter loves me more than her and we would not take care of her in the future......... therefore , there are a lotta difficulties in my relationship.
we both really love each other and we would never hurt her mom....... what are we to do to make her understand how pure our is.
2006-08-31 02:42:52 · 21 answers · asked by nithin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to think that it's pretty scary for the mom...she's has been with her daughter all her life and suddenly you appear...she doesn't know you or where you come from...nor does she know if you are good for her daughter...everything takes time...the good thing may be that you are talking about it...reassure your girlfriend and your mom...that you mean no harm...and that you just love spending time with the daughter...ask the mom to come along sometime...it will give her a chance to get to know you and see how you interact with her daughter...remember you are the new one in the relationship...just prove how worthy and useful you are....good luck!!
2006-08-31 02:52:09 · answer #1 · answered by claudeward49 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mother sounds a bit immature. Why would the daughter's love for you keep her from caring for her mother in the future? The mother would prefer that the daughter be with someone she does not love?!? I'm not sure that there's anyway to resolve this, other than the two you showing her kindness and caring and hopefully she comes around. Be prepared if that never happens, though. Are there other issues contributing to the situation? It sounds odd.
2006-08-31 09:48:40 · answer #2 · answered by GreenEyedSista 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First 'serious' relationship?
Love can be best defined as the state of emotion where
our usual selfishness is overridden by the desire to 'serve' another's before our own.
Any relationship will have difficulties... 'they lived happily ever after' may be overall correct(in the 'big' scheme) BUT be assured the moat needed regrouting and more than one dragon needed slaying...
Mother's are people too and are driven by the same concerns as other people. The same fears that their children will experience the same hardships and heartaches that they have survived. The fears of living(and dying) alone.
Mom's 'stable' life with her and daughter is being threatened by you. An unknown factor who will change everthing. You and daughter may love each other and trust each other BUT to Mom YOU are the latest dragon.
You may be feeling distressed, Mom may be distressed, BUT I imagine it is REALLY tearing apart Mom's daughter. She NOT only has her own fears, hates, and loves but she has her lover's and Mom's to share as well.
If you continue to be kind and pure in your display of love for each other, continue to include Mom in that love, her fear will fade. Amd your love will NOT be forced to make a choice which might haunt her(and you) forever.
This can be a cruel hard journey, to find that promised place free of current dragons, BUT love knows no bounds and may tame the fiercest of dragons.
I wish you and yours the strength to overcome the fear of dragons. It can be a slow process but for true love we take the needs of others into account, and some day you will be Mom(okay Dad) and regardless of her words or actions you are solely responsible for yours(and may you take your lessons with you).
Two tests of love... can you travel together... can you honor each others parents(oh the health and wealth thingy as well)?
Short answer is practice what you preach. Show and share your love and Mom, no matter how afraid or lonely or hurting(getting old would kill young people), will eventually realize(understand)
your love. Is your love up to the task?
2006-08-31 10:13:21 · answer #3 · answered by uncledad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 4 daughters and the way you mention things i believe the mom does not want to be left out of her daughters life. Even though it is hard to believe that our babies are growing up and leaving to start their own is kind of difficult to let them go. As you and your girlfriend grow to be together just let her mom in your lifes just a little bit, let her know how wonderful things are between you all, and remind her how much you love her daughter and would never hurt her (only if your going to live by your word)
2006-08-31 09:50:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two daughters and for you to even think that this girl loves you more than she does her mom is a mistake. The daughter may even believe that, but she's wrong and is not properly understanding her feelings. To compare romantic love with the love of family is like comparing steak with ground meat. Don't try to compete or even to compare the two types of love. It won't work. The mom feels as though your challenging her daughter's loyalty and love and the daughter is feeling as though she has to choose between you and her mom. BIG MISTAKE!
2006-08-31 09:49:16 · answer #5 · answered by Enough 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give the mom some time. Maybe she will realize how much you do love her. Maybe she never will. Some moms are like that. They are just trying to be protective of their daughters. If you have a daughter someday you will feel the same why. It's natural.
2006-08-31 09:47:21 · answer #6 · answered by jeter2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you two should sit down and have a talk with her mother. Make her understand that what she is thinking is not going to happen, in fact i think she will respect you more if you go and make the first move towards a solution. Now you dont have to do anything i say, i bet their are alot more good answers out there. Im just a 14 year old boy giving his opinion.
2006-08-31 09:48:45 · answer #7 · answered by O00-ACE-00O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That mom is a little off base laying that load of mother-guilt on her daughter. You have to trust yourselves and know that you two are loving and committed to each other. Mom will learn to trust you too. Don't let her fears cause wrinkles in your love. Just keep loving each other and letting it spill over on to mom and she will come along. She way whine the whole time!
2006-08-31 09:51:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't sweat what mom thinks. She is just being a drama queen. She should want her daughter to be happy. I know that is all I want for my daughter. I surely do not expect her to take care of me when she is grown! I had her because I wanted to, it was my choice. Why would a mother burden her child like that? She is being selfish. Do what is right for you and your girl. Mother will get over it!
2006-08-31 09:46:33 · answer #9 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does the mother expect her daughter to take care of mom in her old age? Parents should enjoy their children, raise them to be responsible, independent and well educated. They should allow their adult children to live their own life - Not the one the parent wants them to live. And definitely not the one the parent regrets not having lived herself!
I suggest you and your girl go for couples counseling to discuss this problem. The therapist will be able to tell you if the two of you have a strong enough relationship to handle this problem and also give you suggestions on how to respond to Mother's demands.
I have adult children and I am glad they make their own decisions - all have done well.
2006-08-31 09:53:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋