The father of my twins has sent them birthday gifts with cameras and a return envelope. He abandoned us when I was 3 months pregnant. This is their first birthday and he has not seen them, cared for them, or supported them in any way since they were born. I don't think he deserves to see them because he wont even pay child support!!!
your thoughts...?
2006-08-31 02:32:59 · 31 answers · asked by somebody 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, if he wants to see them or cares about them tell him to do it in person. He sounds like a real loser! What a shame!
2006-08-31 02:36:02 · answer #1 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I say take the higher ground for a couple of reasons. First, when you go to court for child support (I hope you take him to court) you can say that you haven't prevented access to the children, you've even sent photos. Second, if you don't try to return the neglectfulness, you can look your children in the eye about your behavior with their dad when they get older and want to know details. Third, like said above, let him see what he's been missing. Maybe he's really had a change of heart or maybe he just has a new gf that he wants to pretend he cares about his kids with. Either way, you can let your conscience be clear and look better (behaviorally) to all important parties in the end, unlike the father of course who will have a harder time pleading his case.
2006-08-31 09:42:18 · answer #2 · answered by hiddenhotty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may be his gateway to starting a relationship with them. Let him see the kids. Send the pic's of the kids, and also start procedures to get child support. I know that you were heartbroken when he left but give him a chance to do what's right. Maybe this is his way to start to be responsible. You now have an address where you can find him. If you can't afford a lawyer go through the state. In a way he doesn't deserve to be around him, but in the future they will be wondering why daddy isn't around and you don't want them or him to be able to put any blame on you. Let it all fall on him. So send him the pic's and see if he will help out financially. When they get older they will want to know why daddy isn't or wasn't around and you want to be able to say I gave him every chance to be and it was all up to him. More than anything it's letting him hang himself. In the long run it can make your relationship with them stronger and understand what kind of relationship they should never be a part of.
Same thing happened to me but I knew my father and I understand that my mother gave him the oppurtunity to be right by us.
Good luck!
2006-08-31 09:41:40 · answer #3 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well evryone deserves a second chance, you should send him pictures it will give him a piece on what he missed out tell him if he want to be a grown man and see his kids he has to take care of them to. if you decide to give him a second chance becareful you dont want your twins to get hurt in the end so if he pulls another stunt. he took off once thiers a posibility he will do it again. after all its not fare to you. he cant just walk in peoples lives and then walk out and expect to walk in again. you can go to court to make him pay child support like go to social services he has to pay no matter what the state will be on your side . not only has to pay child support he allso will have to pay back child support since they were born. so i would send him pictures give him a second chance talk with him and explain that your kids cant be hurt by him walking out all the time and tell him he has one chance and dont blow it
2006-08-31 09:43:30 · answer #4 · answered by angel eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a single father I paid my support gladly on time every time and added a bonus. Your ex is a bum. Use the cameras for yourself. See if your state's social services can't find him and get you your back support. Guys like him are an embarrasment to real caring fathers everywhere.
2006-08-31 09:37:27 · answer #5 · answered by Michael 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's regretting his hasty decision. Talk to him and try to find out what he's up to. Make sure you contact an attorney first to clarify your rights in this situation because as the biological father, the courts would still want to preserve his rights regardless of his past actions.
Good luck and Happy Birthday to the babies!
2006-08-31 09:37:54 · answer #6 · answered by Angie P. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u r in the same with my mom. my dad abandon me when my mom is just 4 months pregnant. when i am born i used to nevy how poeple having a father's day and a whole family weekend. But my dad came back to contact my mom when i am about 4 years old. til now, i hate my dad alot. my advice is that, tell u explain to ur kid why they aint have a dad like their friends do. and i dont think he deserve to see them. Good luck :)
2006-08-31 09:40:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ummm....send him the camera and return envelope back to him.
Tell him the twins thx him for the gifts....
But since he couldnt partake in any of their life experiences....hence...child support, raising them etc
then hes not too concerned on their well being...
Any man can be a father...takes a special one to be a daddy ;)
2006-08-31 09:37:06 · answer #8 · answered by Sugar_Plumzz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a very hard question to answer. If he was married to another while he was with you, No, he does not deserve anything!
If he was married to you, then you need to take legal action to obtain support for you Children. If you were not married, then you need to seek legal, or social assistance. Why did he leave? Why does he now want photos of the Children? Without this information, a good answer to your questions is quite impossible.
2006-08-31 09:43:15 · answer #9 · answered by Sentinel 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your baby's father seems to be having a awakening, realizing that he made some really messed up choices in life. It seems like he's trying to redeem himself.
Send the pictures. I won't hurt you one bit. Who knows, maybe this will be a start to your children beginning a relationship with their father.
And don't get in the middle, regardless of the past. Your children deserve to know their dad, even if he was an azzhole before.
Good luck to you.
2006-08-31 09:37:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
No I would send him pictures until he makes a valid effort to contribute to the responsibilities associated with raising children.
Tell him how you feel and what you expect out of him.
2006-08-31 09:38:23 · answer #11 · answered by gjjr2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋