why some people abuse kids?

Question

there is no more detail,my friends dad abused him when he was just a kid,now he has 4 kids and he is 26 but he is still shy about it...im so mad

Answer 1

No parent is perfect, and when you have kids but was not ready mentally, and when you don't know how to deal with life you can take it out on your kids. Some people do it intentionally, and some people do it because they don't know another way. But if your boss made you mad, and you can't take it out on them then you bring that anger and frustration home, and take it out on who ever is there. That does not make it right but we all have been upset about something and then when someone comes and does one more thing to us we let out all that anger on them even though we were mad before they did that one thing. Unfortunately the person who did the last thing got it all, and that could be what happened to your friend and his dad. It does not make it right but parents are people first who has a past that has not taught them how to deal with life.

Answer 2

Its to do with control, parenting skills...or lack or it/them. We all come from families....parents, grandparents, great-grandparents etc and so forth. How people turn out is related to the way they grew up. Some people learn how to treat their children and some how NOT to treat them based on their own experiences.

Babies/children love their parents even if they hate what they do. They know their very survival depends on the person that "cares" for them...be it sporadic, inconsistent or abusive. Those children grow up....and "see" their childhood as being very normal, as theyve never known anything else personally.

When people love they tend to shelter, nurture......even when all signs point to the fact that person should be ousted as an abuser. They think they are to blame because they have no fully-fledged self-esteem to fall back on...they never had the opportunity to grow that part of them.

Its unusual to have 4 kids by the age of 26...so he's obviously trying to fill the gap his father created. He does need help though....all abused kids do...to make them understand that it wasnt their fault. You being mad is interesting but isnt helpful. He's not a retard....just programmed to be who he is right now.

If he's not abusing his children in any way and teaching them how to care for themselves so that what happened to him DOESNT happen again......then be thankful that is so...because many abused kids become abusers. Having children is very hard on the emotions and adults do revert to childhood mode when under pressure.

I agree that he should oust his dad but that would mean telling the whole family, including his children all the sordid details too. And you wonder why he's shy about doing that? He has to grow more of a backbone to do that...and his was erased during childhood. Very few people can be superman when their *** has been kicked so hard it was never there to begin with.

Answer 3

what?