Would you risk being outted at work for a very slim chance of a date with your crush?

Question

I live in a very small conservative country where my sexuality is yet to be embraced with understanding.
And I work at a financial pillar in my country where everybody in the country knows All who works here.
For that reason if I came out to the wrong person it would spread like wild fire and I LOVE and RESPECT my family a WHOLE LOT that I wouldn’t want my life choices effects their life.

Don’t get me wrong It’s MY LIFE, but it stops being My Life when it Hurts theirs.

but I have been wanting to take the risk of asking this New girl at work out on a date BUT I still can't tell if she is interested? you see she is very Feminine and although I like to be label free I'm a femme too with very short hair, just incase you wondered :))

so do I take the risk and ask her out? or is thier signs I could look for? What would the signs be?

Answer 1

No, unless your crush crushes you.

Answer 2

Become friends first - if you get to know here well enough you will know what her orientation is and then can ask her out. If she turns out straight you will still have gained a good friend, if she is gay and single you have a friend who will also be a good lover. It's win-win this way and very low risk (the only risk being falling in love with her by becoming a close friend and her rejecting you).

Anyway this is my advice - good luck and be happy.

Answer 3

Why don't you invite her to do something together, lunch, dinner, a show, in a way that it doesn't necessarily seem like a date. And see if you can find out more about her, and her life. Once you've spent some time with her and talked, you can ask her about romance...has she always been "single" or has she had a long term relationship, etc. You don't ask these things abruptly and early into your time together, but as you spend more time. If she's interested, you'll find out.

Answer 4

well if she's already gay..she's probably in the same position you are as far as being open about her sexuality...BUT I really think you have to weigh this one out...How much do you have to gain over how much you have to lose. If you want her just for a 'one night stand'..then you could risk a lot for a few minutes of fun. Personally I'd wait and feel my way around a little longer.

Answer 5

dating someone at work is risky for anybody. If you are willing to take the chance, make sure she's gay. Be friendly, find out what she's into, ask questions about her interests, and if she'd care to share a pizza or something innocent. good luck

Answer 6

Get a group of "the girls" together and go for lunch or an evening out.
I'm sure you know how to discuss men and "boyfriends."
Steer the conversation there and see where they all stand.
But for heaven's sake don't ask her out unless she has expressed an interest in women that way.

Answer 7

I like what some of the other people have said about inviting her out for coffee or something like that. Go slow, get to know her and take your time.

Answer 8

I wouldn't go that far yet. Become good friends to the point where you can talk about things to her. Once you know each other well, you can tell her and find out what she thinks

Answer 9

Just ask her out in a non-sexual manner for coffee and engage her in small talk. That way you can "feel out" the situation without revealing your intentions.

Answer 10

Do not take the risk, the price is too hight to pay.

Answer 11

I wouldn't risk it if I were you. Just paly it cool, you will recognise the signs in time, if she wants to go out, she will ask you...