falling in love with another woman?

Question

i`ve fallen in love with another woman but i dont know what to do about my relationship with my partner, we have been together seven years, i`ve known this woman for over a year now nothing has happend between us but she tells me she feels the same what do i do ??????

i dont think it is just lust it is something very special as every time i see her i feel something inside that tells me its right she also knows i have a partner and it kills her to see me with my partner

i told my father and he told me to do what makes me happy and feck everone else as long as i`am happy do you think thats the way

Answer 1

depends on if you still want your current relationship or not. Seven years is a long time. Things can get a bit routine or even dull. Try spicing up your current relationship first just to make sure you gave it 110%. If nothing is there then maybe it's time to move on. Don't have a fling though........that would be hurtful. Good luck in your decision

Answer 2

If this is how you feel, you OWE it to your partner to tell her the truth. Honesty DOES pay, and not just for your own sake, but for your partner as well. She, at the very least, deserves to know where she stands with you. Without knowing you or your situation, I'm in no position to be telling you how you should feel but if being with the other woman is what you want, then do the fair thing and end it with your current partner cleanly before jumping into another relationship. Just make sure that those 7 yrs you've invested with your partner is worth throwing away for all this. And when you figure out that what you thought was love was nothing more than just a passing fancy, I hope you don't come to regret your choice once it's all said and done. Afterall, every choice has it's own consequence.

Answer 3

Here's the question...

Is it worth it to gve up something safe, comfortable and familiar in your current relationship, which although it isn't oozing with happiness and passion, you are generally ok with, for the chance at something you feel could be 'perfect'? Is it worth giving up everything for a new love that may or may not work? Are you willing to settle for nothing rather than settle in your current 'ok' relationship if this new one doesn't pan out?

I am married to a woman I met in middle school. I never explored any other options, things were always 'good enough', marriage seemed like the obvious next step, we've now been married for 2 years. Outwardly, we're happy, but I don't think I've REALLY been happy for 4-5 years, and I'm sure its the same for her, although she'd NEVER admit it. I'm not sure I know what REAL love is.

About a year and a half ago, I got a job and worked with (I was her boss) a woman...couple years younger, college student. I got to know her; she's an absolutely amazing human being...didn't think much of it. I got a new job about 6 months ago...I thought about this other woman every single day, and every single night for 4 months, then she called me looking for a job. I hired her immediately. I couldn't help but think: fate?

I typically play hard with my friends when my wife is working or out of town, she accepts it. Anyway, the other day, my wife was working an overnight, I went out, got a call at bartime from this girl...come over to such and such for an afterbar. Drunk, I did...everyone left, we talked until 7am, she said some things that I can't get off of my mind. "Why do you have to be married? If you weren't married, you are exactly what I am looking for."

I feel exactly the same way about her, although she doesn't know, but I don't know if I'm prepared to leave something that is comfortable, familiar, and safe, mostly for the fear of being alone if it doesn't work.

I feel for you, and since its not me, I say life is way too short to not be completely happy. Go balls to the wall for this girl and make it work.

Answer 4

I don't think it's right to even see this other woman let alone start a relationship with her. Once upon a time I presume your current partner made you feel that she was the 'right' one, so what makes you think you can just drop her when another 'right' one comes along? Try this link, it's for marrieds but after 7 years its just as much for you. It will help you know what has gone wrong in your relationship and hopefully the 2 of you can start to make it sizzle again, before you do something with the other one.

Answer 5

Be a grown up. Do not have an affair. Tell your partner that you've developed an interest in someone else. Don't hide it from her. That's the ultimate form of disrespect.

Something to consider -- this woman you're now interested in... Keep in mind that if she was so easily able to become involved with you (someone in a relationship), what's to say she won't easily cheat on you?

I'm not condemning anyone, but look at it from the outside.

Answer 6

this is exactly whats happened to me. I have been with my partner for nearly seven years, married for five and have a baby. I have known this guy for three years and we started a relationship which has eventually turned into love, it was just sex at first. He is also married with children. We speak every day and are totally in love although we don't spend that much time together.
I don't know how to help you though. I am waiting to see what happens with us, maybe in 6 months things will be different but the children are the big issue. I also still care a great deal about my husband. Life sucks! Just hang in there and wait a bit and try and see if theres anything left with your current partner before making such a big decision, like leaving her. Remember you will be changing your life forever, you need to make sure its going to be worth it.

Answer 7

Decide do you follow your head or your heart? if there are children involved think long and hard, you can be splitting up a whole family.
She maybe makes you happy but do you really think you can spend the rest of your life with her? Isn't it better the devil you know than the devil you don't?
Things are always great for the first year with someone new, its when things settle down you start to see there faults.
It could be just the excitement of someone else, the love the lust, the attention.
Good luck.

Answer 8

This is a tough one. 7 years is a long time... you need to be sure this isn't just a case of boredom. Do you still love your current partner? If so, then don't see this other woman for awhile... don't call her, nothing. Then see how you really feel about your partner. You might be surprised!

Answer 9

This has been said a thousand times...and i'm going to repeat it again. an affair is not about the other person. its about yourself. it about how u feel around the other person. how you feel when u think about her. the reason this needs emphasis is that ...the woman may change...but if you get together with her for the wrong reasons...eventually even this relationship will get stale. having said that, i have to admit...spicing things up will never succeed unless ur partner does her bit too. how long can one keep battering one self against the wall!! so decide carefully. it shouldnt be a case of jumping from the pot into the fire. and then again...there r a number of ppl who will be affected by the split. one last option..keep it the way it is. WHAT EVER U DO....REMEMBER ...IN THIS KINDA THING...HONESTY DOESNT PAY. no one will give u medals for honesty

Answer 10

Think REAL hard ....

You need to decide if this is the real thing ..

My personal feeling is that if you feel this for someone else and it isnt just lust then you need to finish with the girl you are with regardless of the outcome with the new woman since you are clearly not with 'the right one'

If it is just lust then you need to decide which means more to you and act accordingly .. the one thing you can not do is cheat!