HELP. (Blueblond, or anyone - if you are here now would be the time to answer a question) Why can I not have a relationship? Is there such a thing as too gay? Are some people just attracted to the self destructive, or the ones you can't have? Should I stop trying? Thanks to anyone who responds.
2006-08-30 22:02:35 · 18 answers · asked by urbania05 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I don't have time to wait or look for something to happen. I'm a dead man.
2006-08-30 22:25:09 · update #1
Howdy, I am sorry to hear you are so down about not finding a guy to love you. Finding a good and decent guy for a relationship is as hard as keeping the relationship going. It is all work and not easy. However remember those fist romantic feelings, that first kiss, and first long night curled up together. Remember those can be yours for a lifetime, but you must keep trying.
Many of the times it is ourselves that is flawed in the equation. We don't really know what we want or need in a partner. We don't know where to find what we need. Or we just don't love ourselves enough to let go and love another. I am going to suggest an awesome book. Like you I was really down with a failed relationship. It took me several months of self exploration and this book to help me find myself, and make myself happy. Now that I am I have a lot of sucess in the relationship department. You can too. Last believe in yourself, believe you will find happieness, and it will eventually happen. Go outside and make a wish upon that star, but make sure of what you wish for, and then believe in it. Positive thinking helps a lot. Good Luck
Book I recommend:
My Guy: A Gay Man's Guide to a Lasting Relationship: Books: Martin Kantor by Martin Kantor
2006-08-31 03:01:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can not tell you why you can not have a relationship but I can tell you that in this life finding a solid foundation (guy) is a hard thing for most all of us. I think there are such things as being too gay but it is nothing about the person other than their own actions or expressions. If you think you are too gay then it is time to put a smaller watt bulb in. Yes, there are people who only are happy when they are in pain. But reality is just a trick to the insane and a carbon copy to a fool and the stabilization of your own worries and fears can heal this type of delima within. And you can be happy with it. Accept it, plan the future, change your direction and I PROMIsE you happiness is sure to come. *wink*
2006-09-04 21:15:13 · answer #2 · answered by J.C. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, here i am again..
2nd time someone calls me this week^^. im proud^^ (but im useless...)
remember that character Carry Bradshaw from Sex and the City? She was 35, single, wrote a love column, and said "I always choose the wrong men".
Remember her attutude to life? being above vulgarity?rocking the world with her independence?throwing it all behind her back saying "not yet, he's not what im looking for"?
i had also destructive relationships, but here i am, and now i am stronger and learned more about myself.
there is no thing as too gay - define ur own limits
and yes, many of us go for what they can't have - at the same time, u will get hurt, and that might be the only way to trully understand what is best for u. just dont sink completely
no, don't stop trying
But, do try to obtain answers from youserlf. true resolutions come from inner determination.
2006-08-31 09:10:29 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'll trade situations with you!! I have the exact opposite problem. Everywhere I go I get hit-on! It don't matter if it's a pool party or out having pizza with friends. Sometimes I think I have a sign or a tattoo on my forehead that says "do me and do me now!!" Some guys are so very persistent I'm actually afraid to go to the bathroom alone! I've been followed into more than one! It is sooo intimidating.
I just want to be me, maybe you can too. Just be yourself and stop trying to "find" the right person. When it's for you, you'll know it. And so will they. God speed.
2006-08-31 10:07:19 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
R.C.,
The too gay thing, that limits the people that will accept you. Don't invest much in relationship outside of Gaydom. Those that are ladies and gentlemen will make you feel as comfortable as possible. But you are Gay, don't expect much out of those who think it's taboo.
I am actually like you. I can't make a relationship happen to save my life. There's just something about me that doesn't click with people. All except for God. I have a relationship with Jesus. And you can too. Gay or not. He keeps me busy, and I don't have much tme to worry about other relationships. Sometimes, it seems He's downright jealous. I know how this sounds, but I have the King of Kings Himself looking after me. I am content. A life without sex, and I'm a Scorpio if that means anything to you, who doesn't have sex. I live for God, and other than masterbation, I have no sex. And I'm good with that to boot.
Well that's enough about me and my latent Bi- self, how about you?
2006-08-31 05:45:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired and just stop... Mr. Right will come from nowhere!!! Just take it easy. Your still young and don't have to be involved in a serious relationship right now. I know it may seem that that's the way you want to be but just take it easy and enjoy ALL that life has to offer!
Anymore questions feel free to contact me and ask away. I'm an open book. Good luck to ya. Oh and I agree with Blueblond stay away from sites like gaydar and gay.com!!!!!
2006-08-31 12:10:29 · answer #6 · answered by Little_Major 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have felt the same man.
It's the lack of confidence , simply u dont believe in urself & u dont take the risk. as a result u become frustrated & down.
try to find good things in yourself that other ppl dont have. be sure u WILL find your match, sure it takes some time but trust in urself, try to keep ur head up & say yeah 'Æuck the rest!'.
that might sound a bit difficult at first but it will grow on you & u will get involved in a relationship u had dreamt of a year before or two!
2006-08-31 05:25:35 · answer #7 · answered by Arya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you're just hanging out in the wrong places, meeting the wrong people. Check out groups that are centered around activities that you enjoy. Why are you so desperate? Why do you consider yourself a dead man?
Call the gay center or hotline - they should be able to locate groups for you that will give you positive places to meet other positive friends. good luck
(BTW,we all make mistakes in picking lovers.)
2006-09-04 02:57:32 · answer #8 · answered by reme_1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad, but I think it's harder for gay people to find the right relationship than straight. I would say the same rule applies....Have your friends introduce you to people. Your friends know you best. Take your time, quit looking so hard. You will find that special someone when the time is right.
2006-08-31 05:23:54 · answer #9 · answered by iluvmydogs 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you can't wait, it's time to go to more clubs or bars and meet as many gay guys as you can. There are a whole bunch of guys who like different types of other guys. He's out there, you just need to find and meet him.
2006-08-31 10:23:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋