Who would win in a fight between a polar bear in high heels and the complete works of Shakespeare?

Answer 1

The Complete Works every time. Who could beat insults like "Thou loggerheaded ill-breeding knave!", "Thou warped hell-hated foot-licker!", "Thou spongy swag-bellied skainsmate!" or "Thou mangled unchin-snouted lewdster!"

Answer 2

That depends on where the fight takes place, the condition of both the works of Shakespeare and the polar bear, and their reach and power. If, for example, the complete works of Shakespeare can move, and consists of every single piece, it could attack from multiple angles. Another factor you must consider is whether or not the bear is used to wearing high-heels, and just how high they are.

There's just not enough info to make a solid, educated guess, and remember, it's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.

Answer 3

Obviously the complete works of Shakespeare would win as the Polar bear would never be able to find a pair of high heels she liked in her size and would walk up and down the high street looking in every shop trying on hundreds of pairs of shoes before going back to the first shop she went into to buy the first pair of shoes she looked at only to find they had sold the last pair they had to a brown bear who was having a fight with the Encyclopedia Britannia
Not that my wife ever does this of course! LOL

Answer 4

A polar bear would be greatly hampered by a pair of high heels - you've just removed its abilitly to use those slashing claws (encased in metallic red patent leather, I like to imagine), although of course it still can bat you down and stab you with those heels, and there's those fearsome jaws and teeth to deal with. Or it could just sit on you and squish you flat.

OK, so now you've got that bear into the heels (that's brave and ingenious of you) and it's stomping around in its snowy wilderness looking for someone to take revenge on for this indignity. So you leave a big book right there in the snow - this being the Complete Works of Shakespeare. This book is the only thing visible for miles in the snow to the bear. So the bear goes over, sniffs it, decides it isn't really the culprit responsible for those hurting heels on his feet, so just stomps over it and carries on looking for a human to bite and then sit on.

So, I think I call this a draw.

Even if it is really a non-match, as it never got properly stared as a battle. It's difficult for an inanimate object to fight back.

Answer 5

The Shakespeare would appear to be making headway against the bear but then a major insurgency would pick away at the Works apparently from within the bear but really coming in from outside the bear, blowing up parts of the bear and removing support for the Works from any parts of the bear which were sympathetic to the Works.

Answer 6

The complete works of Shakespeare would trip the bear because it would be wobbly on the high heels. The bear would then hit its head on the sharp corner of the books and get knocked out.

However, if the bear simply removed the high heels, it would kick Shakespeare's butt.

So I guess it's all about how smart the bear is. Is it smarter than the av-er-age bear?

Answer 7

Depends from how high you dropped the complete works of Shakespeare. If they were on a single Data DVD then the polar bear would win.

Answer 8

If the works of Shakespeare fell from a height, definitely the polar bear would be crushed. If he tried to read them without taking sensible breaks he would lose his eyesight and die a slow death unable to hunt for food. If, on the other hand, he read them in sensible sessions of no more than 2 hours each, or indeed if he ate them with a little tomato relish, there's no doubt he'd come out on top. Clever of you to throw in high heels as a red herring, since it's clear they would make to difference to this unusual but interesting challenge.

Answer 9

A polar bear in high heels would break through the thin ice sheet (a result of global warming/melting of polar ice caps) and drown. Whereas the complete works of William Shakespeare would have a far greater surface area enabling itto sustain it's tricky position on the thin ice awaiting it's next challenge from the angry emperor penguin on stilts.

GRRR! My money is on the complete works!

Answer 10

A polar bear in high heels wolud constantly slide on ice...
As far as I know in Shakespeare's plays there's no polar bear in high heels, and most of the characters wear sandals or medieval/reinassance shoes...BUT Mercutio in white afro wig and high heels looks funny ;p

Answer 11

You could substantially batter the polar bear over the head with the complete works of Shakespear and you'd have the advantage as long as you got in there fast.........