Fighting inside,
Cannot seem to control...this urge,
Day in day out,
In Myself I try to confide,
With sweat pouring,
Body shaking,
Still cannot find out why.
Mind in a bind
In a fix state of tribulation,
praying for salutations,
Wanting to end it all.
Can't believe what I started,
Now I feel defeated,
Fallen into sense of serenity,
This can't be real!
Any ideas how I should make the ending line?
2006-08-30 21:37:48 · 14 answers · asked by goode_times_die 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Visual Arts ➔ Other - Visual Arts
is that about that bloke who jumped off the balcony with his kids?
2006-08-30 21:45:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think with the sweat pouring, body shaking...it sounds like a fever with rigors. You have to get admitted to a hospital immediately!
2006-08-31 04:48:07 · answer #2 · answered by Abularaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good .The lyrics are really good.It would be nice if you could find some linkin park or limp bizkit karaoke song and register your song.
Congrats keep up with the good work.
Plase if you eventuaally register the song send it to me at cyberhacker665@yahoo.com and i will put on my site.
2006-08-31 04:46:43 · answer #3 · answered by cyberhacker665 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
needs and better starting line. them the ending might be easier to figure out
2006-08-31 04:46:01 · answer #4 · answered by ghos_t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This cant' be real !...
I am not actually such a big fool !
I think my poem is not at all cool !
I wil stop making more poems..and go bak to school !
lol
2006-08-31 04:43:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like rap. Is it?
Can end it like "Fighting inside,
Fighting the fight"
2006-08-31 04:55:32 · answer #6 · answered by WaterStrider 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds bad. Hope this helps.
2006-08-31 04:40:56 · answer #7 · answered by An Unhappy Yahoo User 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see a doctor
2006-08-31 04:39:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
" I'm running out of time" Pretty dark but good.
2006-08-31 04:44:51 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds very good.
You know this is my 400th answer on yahoo answers??
Do you want to congratulate me!!!!
2006-08-31 04:39:53 · answer #10 · answered by rekha c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋