What will you do if u were me?

Question

married with a child, but have fallen in love with another guy.the other guy has everything u ever wanted in a partner, ur husband has been busy with work and has no time for u at all.i think i fell out of love with my husband but why do if i feel gulity when the other guy actually leaves in another country so far from me and we just usually talk on the phone,.....????

Answer 1

If you're feeling guilty then it's usually because you think you're doing something wrong. There are so many different answers to this question...put it this way. How would you feel if your husband was writing this question about you and another woman?

You should be talking to him not us. It's easy for a man that you really don't know (admit it, you can't really know this long distance guy) to turn your head...you start wondering if the grass is greener on the other side. Well, take from someone who was in a very similar situation...the grass on the other side still needs watering and maintaining.

If your life has become complacent find something to spice it up; be it your sex life or just your everyday life. Can you really see the rest of your life without your husband???

Answer 2

I think you should first talk with your husband about trying to work it out to spend more time with you or finding another job before you desperately spontaneously make that jump. That is not a feeling of guilt you feel...its your conscious telling you choosing this fella in the other country might not be right because all you have done is talked on the phone with him....you have never actually spent any real time with this guy so you never know if what you think he is all about is actually what hes all about. Things can be very decieving so I would give it some time and talk to your husband. Try everything you can in your marriage before you decide to call it quits and if it fails at least find someone that is close to you that has these qualities the fella in the other country has so you will know for sure if hes playin games or for real....and remember....all that glitters is not gold!

Good Luck!

Answer 3

That is emotional cheating which some people think is worse. Why don't you try talking to your husband and letting him know what you need - what you miss, what you used to have with him that has seemed to slip away..

It may not be that you like this other guy as much as it is that you like the attention that he is able to give you. Try to remember what you fell in love with in the first place in the man that you are married to - remember it was for better or worse and try to rekindle all that you have lost somehow. Maybe he doesn't realize how empty you are feeling or how alone you are. Communication is so important - vital - you have nothing without it - that and trust. I think you feel guilty cause you know if he knew about this, he would be hurt. It is another guy - any way, shape or form, you are still sharing parts of yourself with another man which is cheating and that is never right. Try to bring back the lost love or feelings and if you can't, then he may not be the one for you. He is working to give you a nice family I am sure and may not even realize the side effects of his work ethic - make him aware & let him in~

Answer 4

U r not being fair to your husband. U tell that he is busy at work, he is not flirting. He is busy cos he is earning good money to make life better for you and the family. You have a child who needs a father love

Ask youself ? is it infactuation between you and ur interenet guy. How can u tell that he is the partner that u ever wanted when he is so far away.

I sacrifice 2 years for someone i love who is 3,000 miles away from my home and think he is the one for me, i was cheated.

Please wake up and go back to your husband. He needs your love and support to raise the family. Dont ruin the nest that you and your husband had build from LOVE.

Appreciate ppl who loves you. God Bless

Answer 5

You have gotten yourself in a real mess. I have been there done it. If you really love your role being a mother try to work on your role of wife. They go hand in hand. Once you whack that out of balance because you need to be fullfilled somewhere your husband is lacking life will suck. You will end up divorced and more that likely the luster of this other guy will be gone. Stick with it and try to do what you deep down think will make your future bright.

Answer 6

You probably had nobody to confide your feelings on those times.. and found this other guy.. he might give you all the emotional help he can give.. but, think about your marriage.. you both need to settle your priorities and change for the betterment of your relationship, and try to value family that you both have created... Don't let that love fall to another guy.. rekindle your love, dont just stand there and wait, do something...

Godbless... Hope for the best!

Answer 7

What you are talking about is crisis in your life and marriage. You may think that you love this other guy because you can actually talk with him, something that apparently you are unable to do with your husband because he is busy.

This other guy listens to you and you listen to him. It is something we all need - to be able to communicate with the opposite sex.

What I suggest you do before you take a step that may break up your marriage is to try to save your marriage by communicating with your husband. Explain to him your needs and tell him of your unhappiness of the drift in your marriage

Be open with him and communicate your needs. Go to his office and take him out to lunch. Go on along weekend with him and if your child is old enough, you can leave the child with relatives while you are off with your husband trying to liven up your marriage and relationship.

prepare a romantic dinner either at home or invite him to a restaurant. Try to relive the moments with him when both of you were in love at the beginning of your relationship.

I wish you luck and if you need any support, please contact and I will be there for you.

Answer 8

You can't blame your husband if you decided to fall out of love with him. He is busy at work for a reason...probably to feed the family or probably something else (have you figured it out yet?)

If you have not even tried to mend the feelings between you and your husband that have drifted apart, then you share the same responsibility for this breakup.

Try to remember why you married this man and have his child...You were not high on pot when you said "yes" at the chapel, were you?

Answer 9

Let me guess,you've been married about 7 years.You took a vow,basically made a promise to your husband,Sounds like he's working to provide for his family. At the same time your home giving something to another man that he deserves. What do you honestly think you should do. Fix your marriage or leave him don't compare him to another and torture him because he can't live up to the fantasy you have about another man.

Answer 10

If i were u id stop cheating on your husband, AND thats exactly what ur doing, u may not physically be cheating on him but u are emotionally cheating on him.. id be willing to bet, that u didnt realize how out of love u feel u are with ur husband untill u met this other guy.. u may of been unhappy but u've put urself in a situation to make u even more distant from ur husband then before, why? because u have this guy in another country that is giving u all the emotional fulfillment that u need.. sad enough ur not just cheating on ur husband, ur cheating on your child as well because if your husband find out of about your Phone buddy, he could very well leave u , and then what???? your poor child end up in a broken home why???? cause his mom felt it was more important to fulfill her emotional needs with a man that she'll never be with that just gradified her ego for a temporary moment and your child has to pay the consequences of this... Lovely.. U took a vow.. and although i know u feel neglected by your husband which means he's lacking in his responsibilities to u, but for what???????? he's not out partying with the guys, he's not our drinking his life away, fooling around with other women, he's WORKING.. hes trying to provide for you and your child.. Shame on him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(sarcastic) it would of been one thing if u had said, u were married to a horrible man that treated u like u were nothing that spit in your face, beat you, ect.. but ur only complaint is that he's working and u feel neglected.. Although u have every right to feel neglected u have no right to be cheating emotionally on your husband.. u should be trying to fix ur marriage, not destroy it more then it already is.. especially for a man that u'll never be with.. Ur only making ur marriage worse not better.. and eventually he'll find out about your "friend".. all lies eventually come out.. then what??? Think he'll sit there and take it lightly and just turn into the man u want him to be?????? Doubtful.. he'll become bitter, he may become possesive, u will have breached his faith and trust in you, u will break his heart, and make him even more emotionally distant, even if he starts trying to be what u want him to be out of fear of losing his family.. its not real love.. its a panic action.. and is that what u want.. something thats fake? and even if he did, if ur hung up on this other guy no matter what he does at this point wont be good enough because ur to busy thinking about a guy u dont know..
And dont go thinking this other guy is so great, everyone seems great when u dont have to deal with them on a regular bases, and are sweet and charming, just like every other guy till u get to know them.. REALLY know them.. most guys that are horrible and abusive didnt hit a woman on a first date, they were sweet said all she wanted to hear, till he felt he had her trapped then wham they change and start being horrible.. So dont just assume that this guy that u dont "really " know is prince charming, they all seem that way and im sure ur husband seemed that way to at one time ...
You need to grow up, realize that u took a vow , that u have a child that is depending on u to keep his family together if at all possible.. You need to stop being a cheater and focus on your family , maybe if u put as much energy into fixing ur marriage as u are with this guy just maybe ur marriage would have a fighting chance, but if nothing else, atleast be adult enough to leave, before u start cheating on someone.. stop using ur man for his paycheck while ur playing kissy face with mr. lover boy over the phone.. thats having ur cake and eatting it to.. and makes u a really horrible sounding person...