I think I'm an unlikeable person. I can't keep a man. My ex said that it was my mouth.?

Question

Later he said he could never please me. That was ten years ago! I don't won't my ex; he was a sawed off bent back runt with an attitude. I have a boyfriend but he can be very rude at times. I like a man who shows me respect all the time. I am in my 40's and feel as though I just can't please or find one that pleases me. None of my relationships ever work out.

Answer 1

living alone can be quite satisfiing! you can do what you like, watch what you like, eat what you like, any time you like. Have a Pet. they always love you! some of us are really just better off not trying to live next to other people.

Answer 2

I'm in my 40's, too. And my relationships don't work out either. I just thought I'd mention that because, even though you're a freak, you're not alone....It's obvious from the description of your past and present boyfriend that you like men who respect you. Anyway, whatever you do, don't leave your present boyfriend! The worst thing in the world is to not have a significant other. Imagine your friends and co-workers and neighbors talking about you behind your back, gossiping as to why you don't have someone. And, when you go to various events by yourself, people will look at you as if you're a sideshow freak. I certainly don't want you to go through that kind of treatment....I think your ex told you that your mouth was a problem because he wanted to hurt your feelings. Men, being pigs, do that kind of hurtful stuff. Besides, you sound like a lovely lady to me. Don't let any man tell you that you need to improve your behavior. He has no right to do that (because men are pigs). Women are warm and sweet. Don't let that SOB try to convince you otherwise....I hope this makes you feel better. Take care.

Answer 3

Just the fact that you say "i want respect all the time," shows you have a chip on your shoulder like your out to prove how tough and straight up you are. Someone must have hurt you good in the past and your out to make sure it won't happen again. I would hate to tick you off.

You said you think your likeable. Well that means you dont' want to admit there's a problem. If you think there isn't then you wont' fix anything you don't acknowledge. You must be humble and see the truth.

There are more and more women like that who are high maintenance and they wonder why they can't keep a man. No one wants to be on egg shells all of the time. If you can't give as many compliments as complaints then you will wear down a man. If your always demanding then people wear out.

The bad thing is you are what you are at 40. It's very difficult to change after 40 but maybe you can. Be humble and think of the other persons feelings before yours. It's not all about you or the respect you demand, it's about kindness and being there for eachother.

You have to ask yourself if you want to do right or always be right. I dated someone like you and I eventually would get frustrated and lash out at them and get rude because I just got sick of the tension and never being able to do anything right or make that person happy. I spoiled her rotten but it was never enough. Now I'm marrying someone that I've known for a while that is sweet and appreciates me instead of demands from me. We can joke around and have fun. Now my ex just can't figure out why we didn't get married and just doesn't get it.

The way to be respected is to be respectful. I respect people that show respect and kindness to others. Not people that demand I be what they want me to be. Good luck.

Answer 4

you are not an unlikeable person. You just need to loose your negative attitude. Girlfriend never let anything your ex says take up space in your head the dog is gone kick him to the curb and move on. Don't settle for someone rude and gross just because you think you dont deserve any better. You are probably a very nice sweet person. Stand up for your self and make your dreams come true. You don't have to settle for dogs when there are some real studds out there. You go girlfriend the men are not always right usually they are full of s***.

Answer 5

Maybe you can volunteer to do something within your community that meets your interests and find a man through there or if not take a class at a recreational center or community college and find a man there perhaps at church
if these things are not affordable there is always the library or a free concert etc. (depending on where you live) but a man deserves to be treated with respect and so do you do not settle for less

Answer 6

Well Hello Lady too busy, I understand how you feel, at 25 I was wandering the same thing. I wandered why these people with obviously less to ofer than me are in wonderfully happy and committed long term relationships. what I found is that it was me. I would cause problems to save myself from having to deal with the real issues I was having in a relationship. I would knit-pick and knit-pick until my girlfriend would deicde she had had enough of me. Then I'd mope around wandering why me. When I relaized that I was having the smae problems over and over again with different women, women of different backgrounds nationalities and even ethnicities. I realized that the problem was not those people at all but my own expectations. There are two ways I was able to successfully deal with my issues the first was to learn only date people that I am truly compatible with. I would search for women that were only going to keep my interests temporarily, and needless to say after a few months I would get bored and breakup with those women, when I really started to only date people that I was completely interested in, I was able to maintain better relationships. Secondly, I learned that all guys are a**holes and all women are basically big balls of emotiion, particularly around that time of the month. I became much more understanding of women and of myself.

Hope this helps hun.

Mic

Answer 7

maybe because your not finding the rite one it's making you ***** because your disappointed. But bitching won't change anyone and being nice may not work either if you see yourself so frustrated you have to yell move on. Your wasting too much time on one thats why you never find mr rite your to busy trying to change mr wrong. Acept them and don't complain or let them go because they don't change. It's really immature to try to yell someone into changing it might work with a two yr old but not a grown man. I learned this from my first marriage yelling gets you no where Godbless you i hope when you realize the truth you have the strength to leave because tyed to losers all the time your not giving yourself the chance to be happy.

Answer 8

you're an independent woman who knows exactly what you want. and i absolutely respect that.

the reason why your relationships doesn't work is because of your high expectations. remember, guys are human beings too...they can't be perfect and please you 100% of the time. high expectations means plenty of dissapointments. also, you should respect the man if you want him to respect you back. respect is something earned, not given.

also...relationship is all about balance. it seems like you're the dominating type. you should let go of some control and enjoy the relationship. after all, life is too short for perfection.

Answer 9

If these are your words :
"Even though my answer may not always be what you may want to hear; I am just expressing myself and feel this is the way it should be. So whatever I say please dont take offense. It's just an opinion or maybe an insight, sometimes I can be downright mean"
your ex might be right.

Answer 10

To receive respect you must be respectful. You must also have respect for yourself. If you have it permanently etched in your mind that none of your relationships ever work out then they will never work out. You are enabling yourself to fail because of the way you are thinking.