Husband had affair when our child was 6 mths old. Why?

Question

My husband had an affair last year for 3 months when our child was 6 mths old. When I found out he said he would never leave me and said the affair meant nothing. I am trying to move on but has anyone been in this experience? What does it mean if they cheat with such a young child? Is this why he cheated, becasue i did not give him enough attention?

I love my husband so dont want to leave.

Answer 1

It happens a lot with young couples because when a child comes into the picture the husband is put on hold a lot and just can't seem to handle the rejection he feels. Before the child came along it was just you and him giving each other all your attention.

Answer 2

i have heard it is rather common at this point for a man to at least think of cheating not all men act upon the urges. See when we become mother we do tend to not pay so much attention to our husbands. Mothering is a very exhausting role to get used to especially if u are breast feeding and such ur attention is in demand with this child that totally counts on u for everything . and when we are not feeding , changing playing holding and totally in awe of this new baby in our lives we are sleeping to be ready for the next feeding , changing ect . Not excusing what ur husband did but becoming a new parent is multi tasking times 1000 and we do tend to let the husband fall by the wayside.

Answer 3

People have a sex drive, and is not "natural" to be monogamous. In fact it's probably more of a supernatural influence (God) that allows us to overcome the desires of our flesh so that we can enjoy the beauty and fulfillment of monogamy. It's a gift, and not everyone gets it. Of course, interpersonal issues can contribute. Here are a couple of poems I wrote when going through similar times.

Other Pretty Faces

Why does she ignore the nice things I say?
Why won't she play too when I want to play?
Am I so disgusting, I turn her off?
Is my flirting appropriate to scoff?
What does it take to get her to agree?
Why doesn't my own wife lust after me?
I tell her the beauty I see, and smile.
I say I want her now, not after while.
The baubles I bring speak of my desire.
Hugs I give are warmed by my inner fire.
She gets my time, more than any other.
I love her so much, I tend to smother.
Must she reject on a daily basis?
Driven, I seek other pretty faces.

just david 1999

===

They Aren't All Happy

Myriad couples end by an affair,
Int'rest lost, love to hate, with no repair.
Thought by some to work out only one way,
Others see marriage as ending their play!
Observing the conflicts had with my wife,
I wondered how past folks had married for life?
How were they faithful, the people of old,
Keeping a marriage that would not grow cold?
I think some cheated and just never told.
I know others guarded strongly their fold,
Others went on with fear, anger and strife!
Many unions continued, with diversions rife.
Domineering and watching, spouse not to stray.
Some found paradise and so chose to stay.
True, ages ago divorce was not rare;
But unique on earth is each happy pair.

just david 1999

===

http://www.geocities.com/counttheways

Answer 4

People are different from one another. He may be a person who has made a one time mistake and will never make another or has got the taste and will again do it again. But if he has gone to another person within this short period of a marriage, then there is something he is not getting from you what he wants..

Try to find out what he feels you lack for which he went for another and sort out. Just keep an eye always too. But sorting would help you achieve a peaceful life..

Answer 5

hi my hubby cheated on me 2 weeks before i was due to have our daughter,i had a lot of problems during pregnancy which meant i couldn't have sex, not only that we had a 14month old son and i think he felt trapped and couldn't cope with the fact of another child so soon i asked him why he done it and he couldn't answer me at first , i asked him again a few days later and he said he was confused, and felt rejected, but we have managed to come through it and now we have been married for 3 years, its possible to get through it, it takes time and warn him that if he ever does it again then he will lose all rights to being a father to his child and he will lose you as well only give him 1 chance as at the end of the day its not just you who will be hurt your child will also. i hope it all works out for you.

Answer 6

man, when i read this i thought maybe you were my friends wife...they were goin through the exact same thing about 6 months ago. theyre doin a lot better now but i knwo his girl still has a hard time movin on, with good reason. ive never been in that situation myself. thats a judgement call. i know he didnt wanna break up his family tho, their kid is 18 mon or something. theyre still together so anythings possible. its gotta be tough tho. the cheating has nothing to do with you, trust me. he told me that he was just freaked out by having a kid, and guys are immature like that sometimes. they wanna act out but guys dont have temper tantrums like kids do, they cheat. its immaturity. im sure he regrets what he did. theres no denying what he did hurts, and ultimately its gonna be on you whether u stay or not, just depends on whether you can trust him never to do it again. cheat once, shame on you...cheat twice...you get the picture

Answer 7

well...Whatever be your hubbies explanation about this affair, he did wrong.Once sombody is commited in a relation, he/she should be dedicated to that relation.One important thing all womesn should know is hubbies always expect 100% care and attention and love from his wife and whoever , even his kid is coming in between, he cant bear that.Might be after gave birth to your kid,your total attention normally will goes to your kid and husband may feel very lonely. but for killing that feeling , jumping into another affairs is not a good thing. take care of your husband like your first kid- belive me...hubbies like that---love him... give him the feeling that what ever happens , whoever comes into the life, he is the ultimate one and he is the only one for you.never talk anything which feels bad for him. Always hubbies life for his wife and kid and when he is not getting enough care and love.... he may go for soembody else.
so always for keeping good relations..whatever relation it may be..... the only way is love..love..love... show your love to the maximum. we have only one life .. live it with love...

all the best...

Answer 8

This happens alot. Once he has trapped you by having a child, he feels you won't be able to leave him even if he has an affair. He thinks you are trapped. He wants a child, a wife and a lover. He wants it all.

Answer 9

Men are a complex beings and can not survive on apple pie alone. If you want a successful man promote his sex drive. Kill the sex drive and you will have a worthless husband.

Answer 10

Sounds like he realized how serious a commitment is. Panicked, and chased the first skirt he saw. Honey, once a cheater, always a cheater, but you'll learn that when he does it again.