Was it wrong to tell my wife 'I need some time alone'?

Question

She's pretty upset and pouting.

I know she's crazy about me. She makes sure to wake up before I get home from work so she is there to greet me. Whenever I try to get involved on the computer, she has to begin asking me all sorts of questions, wanting my attention. It seems like the only time I get to be alone is when I'm asleep, but she's there too. She sometimes follows me around like a puppy. I can be grouchy when I first wake up and all I want to do is go on the porch and have a cigarette. She follows me out for that, talking and flirting and I need time to wake up.

Answer 1

No, I think everyone needs some time to themselves no matter how much they love the person or like being around them. My husband and I have alone time where I go running or he just hangs out and catches up on some TV shows. Just time to clear our heads and think about the stuff we have to get done with work, family, etc. It's never very long - not more than a couple hours or so, but the time apart helps make the time we are together better.

Answer 2

without more details it is a bit hard to answer this. If you mean you need an hour after work to unwind and you want time alone in the family room. No calls, no conversation, just peace and quiet. Or maybe you mean you want to take a year off from work and go live in a cabin out in the woods with ON human contact.
Or that you want to take a vacation to Hawaii on your own. Or that you want your own apartment for a month or two to think things out. Are you just in need of some quiet time or are you reflecting on whether you need to be married to her or not.

Also your reason for the time alone is n't told so it is hard to say it is wrong or right to tell her.

If she is still pouting and upset, your time alone must be something she can't comprehend.

She needs some TLC from you, she is probably afraid that she is losing the man she loves.

Answer 3

Couples aren't meant to be joined at the hip. You both need some alone time. Any grown woman who pouts in anything other than playfulness, has no business pretending to be someone's wife.

Tell her that you are going to spend 30 minutes by yourself, on the computer, take the dog for a walk, take a hot bath, whatever you want. Then suggest she do it as well. Afterwards, give her a sensual massage and go from there.

Answer 4

It depends on the situation. If you never spend any time with her she may have the right to be upset. If you are having problems talking to her may help not talking about it may make it worse. Explain to her why you need some time alone. I need my alone time too...I used to lock myself in the bathroom with the radio and a good book because that was the only place I could be alone and if anyone asked I would tell them that I was having stomach problems or taking a really long hot bath.

Answer 5

Great relationships are built on good communication. I suggest that you talk to her and explain what you meant by "alone time" and why you feel that you need it. If you just need a little break (i.e. not a separation/divorce) tell her that your need for "alone time" has no bearing on how you feel about her.

Sometimes husbands and wives seem to forget that a marriage is between two separate individuals and you remain two individuals all throughout your marriage ... you do not become one person. So, it's normal to feel the desire for some alone time.

Answer 6

alone time like a weekend with the guys or alone time for a couple of hours or alone time like i am leaving you for a month or so if just a couple of hours or a weekend with the guys then no but if it was leaving for a bout a month or so then yeah you may want to ask her why she is upset and pouting she may need to talk to you and feels that you are pushing her away good luck

Answer 7

Everyone in some point of their time need some time alone even when their married and especially married men alot of times want a little time alone to think about things like bills,jobs,family I can understand a man wanting time to sort things out I can understand that usually when my husband says he needs time alone I tell him to go fishing and then when he comes back he feels a whole lot better and less stressed if a man wants time to think that is completely alright but if he means he wants time away that is wroing it isn't right but wanting time to think or unwind is alright usually when a man comes home he wants some time to relax my husband comes homes and says he loves me and asks how my day went then when he goes sits down I don't bother him cause I want him to have time to unwind men do have alot of them like supporting the wife and kids they provide shelter,food,clothes women need time alone too to sort things also if they have children they want some time to have peace and quiet and be able to think I use to do that a long time ago I would cry and ask my husband if he still loved me?? was I boring to him?? was he tired of me?? fact of the matter is he wanted time to think and I understand that a whole lot better now just explain yourself better to her say you need time to think and that you love her still and be sure to make time for her as long as your having some time to think and you make time for her also their is nothing wrong with it just be sure to not shut her out of your life give her some reassurance i'm 22 and my husband is 24 we've been married for 4 years and we have a great marriage good luck

Answer 8

No it wasnt wrong, but are you sure it just didnt come out wrong?

But she is a woman and no matter how you wouldve, couldve phrased it she would still be upset.

I bet she thinks that maybe you just dont want her around(because women take the most ridiculous things personally). I am sure she is equatting the time you need alone with something she must have done.

Just reassure her that you just need to clear your thoughts, because you want the time you spend with her to be very relaxing and at ease. Something tells me shell come around to that.

Answer 9

It all depends when you asked. If you asked in the middle of a fight between you 2 then it was a bad time. If you said it just to get away from her that would also be a bad time.

If you said it because you had a hard day at work that would be ok.

Answer 10

Not if it is for the right reasons - If you find out you would rather not be married then do it now before someone gets terribly hurt.
Better to lose a love before the situation gets out of hand and someone gets hurt to the point of no return (at least that is how it feel for them).