when 2 people are affianced, they are "in love", but after they marry, everything goes to s**t.?

Question

do u think this true or false? please explain ur choice.

Answer 1

I think the reason my marriage is shi**y is becasue after the "I Do's" we knew we had each other forever and didn't feel the need to impress each other anymore. We had a great sex life before and now it's almost none existant, and we have only been married a year! I feel like I don't even know him anymore. After marriage the need to look special and sexy for your spouse disappears because you think you don't need to anymore. I can't believe it but answering this question has made me realize i need to be doing more for my marriage if it is going to last. i hope i helped you as much as this helped me.

Answer 2

I don't think this is true at all. I think it goes to "sh!t" when two people marry and don't have the slightest clue as to who they are marrying. Think about it. Everyone gets together...it's great, but while dating, we put our best front forward. And then couples get engaged...of course this period is all about planning a wedding. Then you move in and you play house for about a year being real nice and accepting of each other's faults. But then the niceness wears off and people let their true colors show. Often times they end up living with a complete stranger. Those little faults aren't so cute anymore, they are annoying, and the bad habits they each developed...didn't actually "just" develop...they've been there all the time, just never made known to each other.

In hindsight, I think marriage is a HUGE misconception. It's not the fairy tale we all dream it to be. It's endless discussions over doing our fair share, there is mountains of laundry, football stadiums filled with dishes, and if the couple chooses to have children, that's an entirely new ballgame. I believe marriage should be entered into as a business contract. Sure, the love is a great bonus, as well as chemistry. But you only share in business with those you completely trust, respect and are willing to listen to. It takes work and committment to keep a business together, so does a marriage. Anyone who thinks differently is kidding themselves.

I've been married almost 18 years. We have five children and alot of our views are of a traditional nature. It works for us because we both know what we signed up for and will go to great lengths to not only keep our committment to each other, but to the children we brought into this world as well.

Answer 3

Marriages where the couple have many things in common tend to be the kind of marriage that lasts a long long time. Having things in common makes both feel at home with each other and they probably have in-laws that they are compatible with. and they enjoy the same things.

Marriages that are based upon little more than having compatible sex organs can rapidly deteriorate and a break-up is almost guaranteed.

To have a good and enjoyable life, try to marry someone you enjoy being with like a good friend. It helps to also have common surroundings and friends.

Don't let the phrase, " I love you" determine the marriage. The phrase means nothing at all if it is not tied to other things of value.

Answer 4

I adore my husband. We were great when engaged, and now over 9 years later, we are still very much in love. We were great friends though, before and as we were dating. To this day he is really still my best friend. (I know everyone says that, but I call him to gossip, we laugh at the same stuff, we have fun together) I am lucky that we love to talk to each other and listen as well. There is no better time of day than when he walks in the door. I think it just depends on what you have before you are married. SOmetimes people are in a fantasy. They have a great passion for each other, they like each other, but when bills, and kids, and stresses happen- they can't cope with reality. When you adore a great many things about each other, you learn to work through all the crap and you are that much stronger. Stay friends, keep talking- bottom line.

Answer 5

I have seen it a lot.
Most of the time in marraige, people do everything possible in the ramp up to marraige, but after marraige they do not put the same effort in. After all they already got the person to marry them, so why should they bother gonig the extra mile anymore?
People need to remember what they did to get their lovers and work to maintain that high. Because if you don't the ordinariness of life will start to drag you down and then as you said it will go to S**t.

Answer 6

I think true and false. Let me explain...when ppl are just dating, they are always on their best behavior...they want the other to like them, to want to be around them, to fall in love with them. then when it happens, sometimes it changes, they get comfortable, and realize that the other person isnt going anywhere,they are there to stay. but sometimes, ppl LET it go crap because they stop caring, and they give up, and just do everything that they want and forget about the both of them. i think that its very important to keep things new...keep things strong, and feeling like there is always a reason to be together. i also think that it can be okay to be comfortable, and secure, thats what most ppl want, but you can be comfortable without letting the "dating feeling" go away. also, sometimes it is the reality of marriage, you are not dating any more, you are life long partners, so you get use to being with one another, and just enjoy the simple things, and become okay with the everyday life. so it just depends on the person. some ppl like to keep it new and fresh, and others like to be really comfortable, and like the same old thing. nothing wrong with what you want...as long as you both are happy its good.