In this bra case, is it OK to disobey my mom?

Question

I'm 13, my mom worries a lot about my breasts and modesty. I'm a C cup, she makes me wear bras that give much support and no see-through. But she goes overboard, I don't like those bras, theyre confining and hot, especially in summer. I complained a lot but she says it's for my best. and I know she's sure it is.She's nice but kinda strict on my bras. The bras I gotta wear are at http://www.anita.com/de/en/0,1,104,1478,39236__products-detail.htm. They have 4 row of hooks in the back. I hate them. I talked to mom again, she said she already told me a lot of times why I need such bras, it's her mother decision, won't back off and doesn't want to hear any more complaints. Even if I save money, I'm not allowed to buy other bras. I said I'd take it off at school. She said she'll get to know and I'll spend a whole afternoon writing lines like I should keep my bra on. I've never lied to her and dont disobey. But in this case, is it OK if I sneak at her back? Should I be punished if I do?

Since mom won't back off, I think I'll take off my bra at school or get another one I like without hewr knowing.I know this is not very OK, but..

Answer 1

woah! no offense but it looks like a marternity bra. However, no I don't think its a good idea to go against your mum, just think, soon you won't have to listen to her because you'll be 18... trust me, time flies.

Answer 2

Mariza, first let me commend you on considering your mother's feelings. That is a very adult way of handling things. It looks like Mom did a lot of research before fitting you with a bra, and she did so for many good reasons. Ill-fitted bras can REALLY make life miserable; back pain, sagging breasts, etc. Although this bra may not win the most beautiful bra contest, I can see the benefits from the picture. I am usually a B cup (now a D cup since I am breastfeeding!) and I choose to wear padded bras year-round. I kinda freak out if my nipples are poking through. And believe me, honey, men can see that from a mile away! I am sure this is on your mom's mind, too. No one wants some freak looking at their 13 year old daughter in a sexual way.

I think the key word will be compromise. Even if you have to come out and tell Mom,"I DON'T want to look sexy, I promise, i just want to be a little more comfortable! Can't we find something with a lighter fabric that will still hide what needs to stay hidden and the support I need?" If not, don't sweat it, my dear. When you get older, you can wear no bra if you want (although i wouldn't suggest it, lol!) You're only under your parent's roof for a little bit of time in your life. Enjoy it, wear granny bras while mom is paying for them, and when you hit about 25 or so you will realize how much mom really loves you and why she does what she does. :)

Answer 3

I would say talk to her about meeting in the middle... Your mom has her reasons for why she wants you in THOSE bras. Which I agree are horrid!! But I can understand where she's coming from! Ask her what things are most important about a bra to her. Then tell her what is most important to you... I'm sure if you look hard enough you can find a middle road. Something with total coverage, good support yet comfortable. Sit down with her in front of the computer and show her what you feel would fit in to both her level of modesty and your level of comfort...
There are some great ones at http://www.onehanesplace.com/

I had a ridiculously protective mom... My friends still call her the nazi... So I understand dealing with them can be rough! But if she busts you sneaking this she won't believe you about other things when you say you didn't do wrong... Broken trust lasts a long time!

Answer 4

K...I have to agree with your mom...when I was your age I had the same problem. I had large breasts lie yourself. But I did come to a compromise with my mother. We went and had me fitted, and I got a bra that had a ton of support, but at least looked young (like my friends were wearing) You don't want to go without a bra...that's uncomfortable, and doesn't look nice. Keep working on your mom. Find something comparable but looks a little nicer. I know that you don't want to hear it...but from someone that's been there, you will thank her

Answer 5

There are lots of bras that are modest and made of a lighter material, you may have to compromise on one that's pink or has a bow. Also, you could try sports bras, they are very covering, not sexy, very supportive but BREATHABLE. You could also show your Mom a sweaty, gross bra..she may not understand how uncomfortable it is. If you wanted to do what I did, I complained the bras made me itch from the heat and sweat for a couple of weeks, then I wore the same bra for a week (with out Mom knowing) letting it get sweaty and gross. I got a nasty rash, I told her the bras made me itch in the hot weather and gym class and now I was getting a rash. It worked.

Show your Mom these bras for sports
http://www.freshpair.com/catalog_section_women_id_28.html

Answer 6

I don't know if its OK to disobey your mom but tell her that you hate those bras. I'm also a C cup and i told my mom that i wanted to wear padded bras and she gave in so you should really talk to her about it and tell her that those bras are really uncomfortable or maybe suggest if you can wear a better bra for a day and see what she thinks

Answer 7

I saw the website, and the ones that she has for you are good for your back. If you are a C-cup already at age 13 if you wear bras that haveless support you can end up with severe back pain. I know quite a few girls that refused to wear those kinds of bras and they ended up having back pain so bad that they ended up having breast reduction surgery.

Answer 8

They are a bit extreme.... do you play sports or anything like that?? If you do then you will be buying those bras anyways just for the support they give you. When your not doing sports wear the nice ones....but why do you care what your bra looks like anyways, it's just a peice of fabric & junk to hold you where you're suppose to be and not hang to your bellybutton.

Answer 9

Well you are only thirteen, If you are heavy now and I think size C for you age is heavy, if you don't have the right support for your breasts now, at twenty your will have them pointing to your stomach. What you should do is for one more years follow your moms instructions. Your breasts will be growing and you may need the support. But I guess you will lie to your mother now and lie to her later when you think you are right about things you have not experienced. But your mother has. You are typical and this is where girls and their mothers start to grow apart. So good luck and remember if you get caught you have to serve the consequences and you will lose one thing your mother has with you now...... Her TRUST in you. I hope it is worth it.

Answer 10

Not ok. Some how some way she will find out( talking on the phone, a girlfriend and you talking about it and she overhears you, etc.) or you will goof up and wear it home. Your best bet is to do what she says. You just have to learn how to live with it. You want her to trust you don't you??? Then just do what she says and don't complain. As I said. It is only a bra. And when you are 18 you can were what you want. Never sneak behind a parents back. What they say goes! PEROID!!! Now just chilll out and get back to your homework.

I swear you teens these days worry about the dumbest things!

Answer 11

you should be able to wear the kind of bra you are most comfortable in and what you would like. I am very small but I know i wouldnt like wearing those! So even though I dont usually recomend disobeying. I think you should get the kind you want!