On the show where Oprah was talking with the author of Questions To Ask Before You Get Married. One of the subjects that was adressed was comprimise. Apparently the author believes that selfishness is a virtue, that neither the husband nor the wife should be willing to change any part of themselves for their spouse under any circumstance. Is this a view that is commonly held by people who actually have successful marriages or is it just plain bullcr@p?
2006-08-30 17:01:23 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think it B.S........you don't have to change but you want to change to be the best you can be. Example you nag and it bothers him greatly so you can decide better to make my point and find a solution that drive him away. I have learned that as a wife men don't always want to have us go on and on about our feelings so I do tell him what I feel but I don't abuse it! Or when my husband and I don't agree we except eachothers opinions but sometimes we compromise until we find a good mutual decision! We put each other first as we sometimes we all have to compromise to show each other that we respect each other more than our the current issue. I have been married almost 25 years and I adore my husband, I am very much in love and it had nothing to do with him being selfish but he made me more important than his ego which is what this selfish person is describing as virtue!
Just my opinion. Great question!
2006-08-30 17:33:37 · answer #1 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, as the title of the book indicates, you should be finding out all about the other person before you decide to marry them. It's like the Grace Jones song, "I'm not perfect, but I'm perfect for you"
2006-08-31 00:14:12 · answer #2 · answered by Chatelaine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have to agree. You need to be yourselves right from the get go.
What happens all to often is people change for the sake of their partners, in order to be loved by them. What inevitably happens is that they eventually feel comfortable with the relationship and go back to their ways. Hence the phrase "he/she changed". In fact, they didn't change, rather they changed back to what they really were in the first place.
2006-08-31 00:09:41 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say give and take not all about me ya know.
2006-08-31 00:08:51 · answer #4 · answered by bgbelden 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋