What do you say?

Question

This is the situation. You have been friends with someone for a long time. You decide it is best to not be friends anymore. How do you go about telling them? It hurts a lot because you have strong feelings for this person, but you sense that they were just using you to figure out their own wants.

Answer 1

ugh. i just had this happen to me a couple of days ago. i had been friends with this person for over 20 years. we had conflict because of our belief systems. we both realized our love for each other but didn't know how to continue. we had be conversing through email. when opened up and told her my true feelings and what i needed in our communications and suggested maybe we avoid those topics until we can have a conversation without judging each other, she replied by cutting off the relationship in one sentence with no explanation. yup, painful and confusing. i would have much appreciated a more humane way to end a relationship. so my suggestion to you is, yes be honest with your feelings but not blameful. express your love too and that ending the relationship is just something you need to do for your own well being.

Answer 2

I totally know what you are talking about!! I went through that with my best friend for 2 and a half years--it was totally like Paris and Nicole...
You can start to not hang out with the person as much as before. You have to ween yourself from the person or vice versa. OR, if you were such good friends to begin with, you can just talk to your friend and say "Hey, I feel this way..." Never use accusatory YOU this YOU that statements because it backfires. It's hard to lose a friend, but sometimes you realize you weren't right for each other for whatever reasons. My former best friend was all over me and up in my business and didn't like it when I had a boyfriend b/c she didn't get as much attention as she wanted. I feel a lot better not being best friends with her because she made my anxiety skyrocket and she was really annoying. I see her every now and again and I am cordial, but I spare her the details of my life.
Stuff happens and people change. I think you should talk to her or gradually stop talking as much as you used to. Good luck.

Answer 3

if you have been friends with this person for a long time then you should be able to talk to him/her and figure out what is going on. There is a such thing as boundries in friendships and you and she/he need to establish some. Dont drop the friend until you find out if the situation can not be rectified. TRUE friends can work through most problems with successful outcomes. Start talking and stop trying to run away. Friends are too rare a commodity to just give up.

Answer 4

You don't tell them then they think it's your fault. You become distant with out words and when they see they will come back. If they don't see you don't go back. Give no reason for either of you to place a blame it will heal quicker and you wont lose a friend in the end you will have gained an acquaintance that you know well.

Answer 5

I have had friends like that. They are not really friends unfortunately. I just back away from our friendship more. I would just let them know that while you have been a friend to them that you feel that they have not treated you the same way. That you are hurt and that you no longer want to continue your friendship as painful as it may be to you and them.

Answer 6

Say to them:

My friend, I beleive we have reached the end of our journey together. Thank you for the time we have had but I feel we would be best to go our separate ways. We've learned all we can from each other.
Good luck and have a good life.

Answer 7

just dont stay in contact ( fone, chat, etc )

ignore them might work

or come up with excuses why u cant see them

but my question is why after all these years u found out that ur friend was using u?

Answer 8

Don't say anything.
Just don't talk to the person.
They'll get the hint.