He was violently killed by a "friend" of ours,He shot him in the head then put him in his own truck,took him less than 2 miles from his moms and then the bastard set my man and his truck on fire and left him there.The worst of the worst part is that when he was lit on fire,he was still alive & breathing.They said he had significant smoke inhalation in his lungs.We were together for 9 years and 359 days,and were gonna get married soon.
2006-08-30 16:41:16 · 36 answers · asked by kimbers 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You need to take as much time as you need to move on. There is not set amount of time to heal from something like this. Just take your time to deal with it and heal.
2006-08-30 16:44:14 · answer #1 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So very sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine what you have been through. I don't know where you are, but check to see if they have a Victims of Violent Crimes department in your city. Not only can you recieve counseling with other people who have experienced similar losses, but usually there is a fund set up to help compensate you for loss of work, med bills or whatever. Sometime parents say stuff like that because they don't know how to fix this for you, and they can only hope that it doesn't affect you so badly that they lose you as well. Eventually, you will have to move on because you are still here, but take your time, you don't need to be rushed.
2006-08-30 16:53:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have lost loved ones too. My oldest brother was murdered too and my parents died when I was 16. So I know the feeling. What some people don't understand is that you may need to talk about it and your grief. I did. Every person deals with grief differently. Try finding someone you can trust. A trusted friend, a counselor or minister. But find someone. Don't go like I did for 9 years avoiding it. Deal with it now. I hid my pain with drugs for 5 years and 5 years in a religious cult. It wasn't until I was 25 that I finally dealt with it. So I know how it feels. Deal with it now or it could lead to future problems.
2006-08-30 16:51:30 · answer #3 · answered by jesus_lover1962 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grief and anger don't know anything about time clocks. You will never be the same, that's a fact of life. This doesn't mean that you stop living, it just means you take all the time you need to express your feelings to anyone who will listen. Many cities have grief groups with trained counselors to help you deal. It's taken me 20 years, the first fifteen were the hardest. Make use of friends, family(sympathetic), professionals, and strangers and pour out your feelings. You may require medication to make the transition. whatever you need use it. Someday, I promise, the love you shared will be stronger than the pain.
2006-08-30 16:53:12 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Bliss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it takes time you will move on when you are ready. but you can not let life stop because he is gone I have been there and done it. I lost my husband of twenty yrs three yrs ago it has took me a while and there are times that I still miss him and I will always have a place in my heart but I had to keep moving forward and so do you that is the way life goes. just take it one day at a time and it gets better with time. good luck
2006-08-30 16:50:25 · answer #5 · answered by liza 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this for real? If so, How long ago was it? Yes, you need to move on, but you may need a grief counselor. It takes time. There are steps you have to go through. Tell your family that griping at you is not helping, and if that doesn't help, stay away from them for a while, at least until you can get over your loss.
2006-08-30 16:46:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry! Sounds horrific! No one can tell you to get over it! That is the stupidest thing someone can say, wonder how they would like it if they we're told that! I think you need to give yourself time and join a support group that have people that can relate and be helpful! When you can you will let him go but you won't get over him! Be kind to yourself and get some good support! I hope in time you will find the peace and acceptance you desire! I hope you find this helpful! Good luck!
2006-08-30 16:48:21 · answer #7 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
humm killed by a friend? sounds quite odd im glad i dont have friends like that even if i was a bit chilly i dont smoke so i dont think id appreciate the light although ive heard that smoking is bad for you i dont think i would trust my so called friend to give me a light anymore i would apreciate the ride he offered thought but the one thing that gets my goat is why would my friend treat me so well if i was with a girlfriend for almost 10 years and all the sudden get married after all that much time sounds like he would have done me a favor so i cant say i would be mad or upset .
2006-08-30 16:53:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People don't understand things that they have not been through so it's easy for them to ask out and say things like that, that's something very hard to get through i imagine, but just take it a day at a time cause you know time heals all wounds. And in dew time you'll learn to accept what has happened and go on with your life.
2006-08-30 16:47:54 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. Lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's very uncompassionate for people to say that to you. Take however much time you need before moving on. Only you can know how much time that will be. You need to really complete the grieving process before you can feel like you want to move on. Don't listen to these people who are telling you to "deal with it and go on". I am very, truly sorry for your loss. I know what it's like to lose someone close to you and how much that can hurt. Maybe you can look into grief counselling, but only when or if you feel ready.
2006-08-30 16:46:30 · answer #10 · answered by mighty_power7 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone takes their own time to grieve. It sounds like you are not past it yes, & that's OK. No one can force you to go any faster. That said, it's best to try and distract yourself from the pain or deal with it head on. Eventually, you will come out of it your own way, but take care not to get lost in it.
2006-08-30 16:47:48 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋