I have a question that has to do with race?

Question

I am black and white. My father is white and my mother is light skinned. I look white. A large % people can't tell I'm part black at all. My father is a very successful businessman who beat my Mom and left when I was a child. I was raised by my Mom only so although I look white, culturally I am very black in a lot of ways. I have found it very hard getting ahead in the business world despite my father is on the board of directors at the largest corporation in the world. I have been told that I lack professionalism but I am very confused and personally I feel that the fact that I look caucasian but was raised by a black woman very much plays into how people judge me for work and otherwise. What do you guys think? This is the 2nd time I'm asking this because people didn't understand that I said I look white not mixed but my mother who is the only person I was around was black from Harlem

Answer 1

A lot of personal baggage to deal with. I think maybe you should try getting posted somewhere overseas where the race card just doesn't get played a lot. That will give you time to figure out who you are without people pulling you one way or another.

Answer 2

Firstm you really didn't ask a question. If your question was clear, you would have gottne some answers.

Are you saying that you are finding it difficult to be taken seriously in the coporate world becuase you look white but "culturally" you are black.

Are you stereotyping yourself as a street wise, ebonic speaking gangsta child who happens to look like a white girl from the suburbs? If you are, then maybe you come off to people in corporate settings as a poser, wanna be street kid.

Look, I'm Sicilian and I can;t think of anything more annoying than seeing people who are obviously NOT even Italian, pretending to be not only Italian but some kind of mobsters. Maybe they've watched one too many Sopranos episodes.

I people do not know you are mixed race, then perhaps you should be clearer about your ethnicity by maybe wearing some thing that celebrates who you are. If you are acting like a punk
(white, pink , green, black, whatever-but a punk- and you know what that is), then why would ANYONE take you seriously in a place of business?

Please don't use the excuse that being raised by a black woman has hindered your progress in corporate America. That's a cheap way to avoid responsibility for not having the skills you may need to hold down the job you think you want.

There are plenty of mixed race people who are amzing examples of intelligent, successful business people and public figures. Barak Obama comes to mind immediately. Maybe you shouldn;t be looking outside yourself to find out why you have trouble in the work place. Look in the mirror and PAST the "color" issues. Are you a good employee? Do you follow directions well? Are you a team player and easy to get along with or do you demand special attention or take advantage of people who you can get away with that behavior on? Lastly, look right in that mirror and answer this honestly, would you hire you for the job you want?

If you have been told you lack professionalism, uh, gee, maybe you do. Professionalism is more than clothing or a cocky attitude.
It's about knowing your subject, being prepared, listening well to others, creative problem solving andconfidence in your own ability to complete a job.

Answer 3

I am not really sure what your question is...But, listen,.Is the color of your skin such a big issue? How did you come to the conclusion that you didn't get the job, because of your ethnicity? How well suited were you for the job? What is your employment record? Are you trying to compete with your father? Is your father in some way influencing others to not hire you? You haven't said what the status of the relationship is between you and your father. Maybe you need to go back to school and refine your skills. Be proud of your heritage, no matter what it is. But, more importantly, be who you are as a person. Your skin color does not define you. You are what you present yourself to be.

Answer 4

If you are applying for jobs, I don't see how the interviewers would know about your upbringing unless you tell them. This is really something that should be kept personal, even after you are hired. You are under no obligation to discuss your personal life at work. And in most cases, people really shouldn't, especially if they want to be taken seriously and look at as professional.

How do you identify yourself, as black or as white? If you appear white yet exhibit characteristics socially attributable to blacks, that may very well be what is playing against you. I am caucasian and I find it confusing and sometimes offensive when I observe "white" people attempting to come across as "black." Perhaps this is what you are up against.

Sadly we have a narrow minded society about certain sensitive issues and this may be one of them.

I wish you well. Be blessed.

Answer 5

see this is the part I don't get...when you go on job interviews...do you bring your mother?! because if you do then I could say it was MAYBE prejudism....HOWEVER if you don't bring her along...I would say it was all you honey!....you may have been brought up "all ghetto" but that doesn't mean you have to take it with you.....if you want to be ghetto then people will see you that way....doesn't matter if you're purple or green from Mars!....but if you don't act your age or mature enough...don't dress professional..act it or speak English correctly...then exactly what do you expect....example...if I went to a bank to say get a morgage and I have the man or female rep who is either black..white...brown....purple....pink...etc ( i hope you get the point here)....I really don't matter who or where or what you came from....just talk normal...with proper manners and look the part and that is what people expect ( and what are you trying to say by the way.....that only white people get a job or work...because I hate to tell you honey but there are brown....Asian....white....all colors of people that work and have jobs....do you know who Condolezza Rice is?!!!..anyway...let me continue...but if I go to that same bank to get a house loan of $300,000 and some person with purple lipstick...tattoos all over their body...noticeable piercing and baggy-a@# pants on..all walking with a strut....speaking all cool nonsense crap...do you think I'd want to work a deal with them....they're a joke...keep that stuff at home.....so please stop playing victim and blaming "the system" or everyone else in the world and grow up.....ps...I really like to watch The Crosby show...you must remember that or seen repeats....it's about a well-to-do black family....

Answer 6

if i were a business person who was hiring you, i would not look at race as a factor at all. if it was just one company that turned you down, maybe you did have some bigots who were interviewing you. but if it was a lot of companies who turned you down and most of them said it was b/c of lack of professionalism, then maybe it was. maybe the fact that your father beat your mother has had an influence on your confidence level in the workplace. abuse hurts more than just the person directly being abused.

but if none of the companies who are looking at you know that your mother was black, then race wouldn't even be an issue b/c you look white. well race shouldn't even be an issue in my opinion....but if you get a company with some bad leaders and you dont tell them your mother is black, then they will probably assume you are 100% caucasian.

Answer 7

you have low self esteem for one and it does not matter what color you are because what really doesn't count it's how you act in front of those people any people your around and I'm not trying ta sound mean but may be it was u and not the people maybe it was that u who lack the professionalism that you need to make it in that business so that is no excuse don't use color it's really not based on your color now a days some times it's really how u represent your self now a days oh yes and what u know.

Answer 8

If you honestly think that the fact that you were raised by a black person is affecting you professionally, you should not tell people in the corporate world that you mother is black. Some people are judgemental....

Answer 9

First of all - getting ahead in the business world has nothing to do with the color of your skin but rather with your drive, determination, and perseverence.

If you've been told that you lack professionalism, you should look at yourself critically to determine what you are conveying to your superiors. During annual evaluation periods, ask your supervisor or manager what it is about you that conveys a lack of professionalism.

Better yet - take the initiative and make an appointment to speak with co-workers and / or your supervisor to proactively assess your apparent lack of professionalism. Ask what it is that people view as unprofessional about you.

Being "professional" carries many implications. Your work ethic, customer-service skills, and demeanor - if not honed to a tee - can give the appearance of unprofessionalism.

The best thing you can do is seek out a mentor in your chosen field. Pick a successful person whom you'd like to emulate professionally, and ask him or her to guide you in your endeavors to convey a more professional appearance.

Trust me - this has nothing to do with your color, race, or mixed background - and has everything to do with attitude, work ethic, and drive.

Just remember to look at yourself as others may see you. Sometimes it's difficult to view yourself as others do, but a true professional can handle just about any person or situation with grace, tact, and diplomacy.

Good luck to you. You sound like someone who honestly wants to get ahead - don't let your background and your past determine the person you aspire to become in the future.

Answer 10

listen, move to puerto rico and you would not suffer from that, in puerto rico MOST people resolved the racism a long time ago, my mother is white, my dad is part indian part spanish and i'm indian skinned, my wife is white as milk, green eyes and her father is black, my mother in law is white and so is my sis in law, my 2 daugthers from a previus marriage are white as milk green eyes and hazel eyes the other and thier mother is indian looking like me, and we all live happy here in puerto rico, there are a few rotten apples like everywhere else but i can tell u 90% of the population are ok with races, the problem in the usa is that they have not learned to live like 1 race, puerto ricans are puerto ricans no matter what color their skin is and we are taugth since birth that all the puertoricans have a little bit of white, black and indian blood in our veins, so there you have it, the solution to the problem, make everyone think as one race, one nation and racism will be gone forever.