does anyone have any good advise to make the newstep-mom of my son to step back?

Question

she is forcing my child who i've raised as a baptist to go and be involved in a catholic church when he goes two states away to visit his dad! she also calls his teachers where we live and bad talks me in order to get closer to the teacher and his school! she has stuck her nose in everything! Now, my ex-husband whom by the way has been absent from our sons life completley untill the new mrs. came along is trying to get custody of our 9 yr. old son that they really don't even know! somebody help please! I'm a good mom but don't have the money that they do to fight this in court ( in our state you don't have to be a bad parent to have your child taken away you just have to prove that you can do a better job raising the child involved)

Answer 1

ohhhhhhh boy !! one of those kinda steps huh ?? I am sorry to hear about this....... but, you need to keep records of all the things she is doing...... get reports from the schools, teachers, etc...... everything and anything you can get ur hands on..... that way you have proof she is digging and making waves for the child........ listen and record what your child is saying... not with a recorder, but you could, but make sure you write down comments the child makes......do NOT ask or coach him, just listen and write down ...... dates, times, who heard it, and get them to sign it..... start taking charge of your child..... consult with a lawyer, if only to ask what you need to be doing to secure your rights.......there is a difference in a step mom and dad making waves...... you need proof of her doings, not his..... if he is NOT interested the court needs to know..... good luck and God bless

Answer 2

First of all let me say that I am sorry for your dilemma. I have researched these same problems due to a divorce myself. I have found that most states will not take a child away from a mother unless she is absolutely lousy. Most courts recognize the mother as being the parent of choice to rear children. As far as religion, I would have to say that no matter which church a child attends, when they get to the age of understanding and belief, they will choose their own denomination regardless of exposure. I would say that from my experience the best thing I did was have a sit down with my ex at a restaurant and asked her if we could work together to raise our daughter without showing her the harshness and incompatibility that we came to. We have since both re-married and though we are still not friends, we do everything possible to make our daughters life as happy as possible so that she does not feel the tensions and pains of our divorce, since she didn't ask for the problem in the first place. Sometimes parents can do this and it works. We have a schedule for visitation but we do not force her to visit if she doesn't want to. We feel she should be able to decide when she wants to visit and it has worked very well. I am in hopes that your situation comes to a positive resolution for all of your sakes. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Start now if you haven't already with a journal. In it include each phone call and or instance that occures involving your son and his step-mom. List dates, times, and anyone might have knowledge (teachers who received calls, etc.). In proving that you can raise a child better than another, there is a lot more involved than just a money issue although many stop with that. Start your planning now, with enough "little things" you and or your lawyer will be well equipted to show that while you can provide a stable environment for your son that his father and step-mother have a track record for things that just don't meet up. While this is only one small piece of advice, it can be a BIG ASSECT in the end, so please start now. I was in a similiar situation and it was my journal that ultimately helped me keep my children. They are 20, 17, and 16 now and I don't know what I'd done without them.

Good Luck

Answer 4

Keep as involved as possible with your son's school and your own church. If it comes down to a custody battle, the more support you have from the community, the better it is and you will want to be able to show how many times you had conferences with teachers and how much you helped with class activities. Teachers are not idiots and the only way they will be fooled by her act is if they don't know you. If it comes down to believing what they see or what they hear, they'll believe the person they see in front of them unless you give them reason not to. There probably isn't much you can do about her and your ex dragging your son to their church but you can talk to your son about it and maybe have the minister or sunday school teacher at your church talk to him about respecting other beliefs while not giving up his own.

Answer 5

I'll start it off with man that stinks and what a b****. I feel for you, what a nightmare. And if they have decided to drag it through the courts then that's the fight you have to fight. I say you go talk to a couple of attorneys in your area and see if any of them know someone who would be willing to take it on pro bono or maybe charge on a sliding scale. And as an absolute surety you must bring up how long the father has been absent, get evidence from the teachers about what they have heard and talk to your son about it, I think any judge will talk to him as well and as long as he sees things the same way you do it should all work out. Again I'm sorry for what your going through, I'll say a prayer for you.

Answer 6

Wow, this is trouble in the making. There isn't much you can do about her nosing into everything. She sounds like a controlling witch. Have a long talk with your son. Let him know that sometimes adults get confused and don't always tell the truth about things. Let him know that you love him more than anyone ever will.

I had to spend over $4000 to keep custody of my children because the ex listened to his floozy when she said he should try and get custody of the kids. I lost my house because of this. However, I was able to keep my kids because it was obvious that I was not an unfit parent and the judge talked to each child to see how they felt about moving with dad and his floozy. My kids made it very clear that they wanted to stay with me.

You need to talk to people who have witnessed you in your role of parent. They may need to testify that you are a good parent and should be able to keep your child. You also need to talk to a lawyer now so things are ready in case this happens. Do you have family or close friends who could help you out with the financial side of the custody battle? I wish you good luck with your son. You sound like a caring mom to me.

Answer 7

Well first off I would call around to different lawyers there are some who have payment plans. And second I would go to the school and talk to his teacher and the priciple and explain to them the situation. Talk to your son he has a voice and believe it or not the Judge will ask to hear his voice and see what it is your son wants. I would also try talking to family and friends and see who will have your side when this all goes down. So you have witnesses and if your close to your ex's parents or family how do they feel about it and are the willing to back you up as well other than that just let god handle it if you are a good mom your son's knows it and so will every one else. Our kids are not as naive as we may think talk to him first.....

Answer 8

usually it's hard to take the kid from the mom even if she doesn't have alot of money....if you do drugs, not take care of the kid, not have food etc, then there might be a fight...i just went through this with my ex husband...i had all of his rights taken away....but i had proof of drugs etc...has he been paying child support?? they will look at that too...you need to talk to the school about her calling...she has no right to do that...you are the mother...put a stop to it!! i'm sure they will take into consideration the fact that your ex hasn't been in your kids life...don't worry just yet...but keep records of everything...it may help you in the future...

Answer 9

That is a tough one, you are going to have to get legal help. If they have you in court, you have to have a good lawyer. You may have to pay this out, but it is your best bet.

Answer 10

You need a lawyer. Step-mommy is not going to listen to you as she obviously has no respect for you right now by her actions.