My husband is coming home on leave from Japan for 10 days. He hasn't seen our son yet (2 months old) so it's exciting. But he's already told me he's going to watch the baby so I can go out and have some time to myself. I'm scared to leave the baby with him.
He has no experience with any children much less a newborn... any advice?
2006-08-30 16:11:43 · 29 answers · asked by Liz 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
My husband is in the military...you would think he would spend the 10 days with both of you.
2006-08-30 16:14:39 · answer #1 · answered by cawecm 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think it is so sweet of your husband wanting to give you a break. I don't think it's that he doesn't want to spend time with you but more that he wants you to have a little time on your own without the baby while he is there to help. He knows that keeping the home-front going isnt' easy on you either. If after a couple days you feel comfortable with him knowing what to do and he promises to cal you in a emergency, maybe you could plan to eat out with a friend near your house. Maybe at a little diner around the corner. Make it to where you could go out when the baby has went down for a nap. If you eat close by it will give your hubby a opprotunity to show support for you and yet you still will be nearby in case he runs into difficulty. You don't want to make your husband feel that since he hasn't been able to be home you don't trust him. Remember most of us parents learn by doing. There really isn't a "how to" book.
2006-08-30 17:09:22 · answer #2 · answered by vapit5 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first off...what a sweet husband who's taking into consideration that you need a break. not all husbands or men for that matter even care.
second...keep in mind, at one time each and every human has a first time caring for a newborn. it's human instinct that takes over. i can promise you, he will be fine. and so will the baby.
there's 10 days, 24 hours in each day. I'm sure you can take a few hours every other day to relax. go get a pedicure and manicure. a back massage. go food shopping without carting a carseat around. personally, i'd rather sleep any second i could after having a baby. then you have the remaining day to be with that hot military man of yours!
2006-08-30 16:31:54 · answer #3 · answered by Bella 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been in your shoes before, and you had to learn so let him learn too. He is a new Daddy too and let him enjoy his new status, if you fancy a couple of hours away then just go to the shops or something, take your mobile and they will be just fine.
Like I said with a husband who works away it's nice to spend time all together but your husband will just be looking to make you feel better. He'll be more petrified than you and with the added thing of knowing that you've already got 2 months experience on him so give him a chance.....I bet he's more nervous than you guys. Enjoy your time together as a new family.
2006-08-30 21:34:48 · answer #4 · answered by aza 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my marriage I have found that I have to sometimes let go and let my hubby learn on his own about parenting. If he loves the child, he will do his best with the munchkin. Just make sure he knows how to feed the darling and about burping and then really, I think you are good to go. Of course it is good to trust your instincts but I find so many moms are so overprotective that they unintentially stiffle growth in thier families. Though, I came to this conclusion after my little guy got older. I was of course, waking up every 20 minutes to just make sure my baby was still breathing when he was newborn..lol Another thing you might like to do is just rent a couple of good movies, maybe invite a friend, get popcorn and find another room. I find that when I need time away from my little boy, even if I am left alone to clean the house, I feel refreshed after. Just having some time where no one needs you, draining you of your emotional reserves, so you can build them up again, is really all you need most of the time. Congrats on your little one!
2006-08-30 16:23:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You wont leave as soon as he gets home, and you wont be gone thee whole time he is there. If you feel uncomfortable than watch him for a few days and see how he handles the baby. Kind of step back and watch how he does things. then after you are comfortable... GO OUT!! Have a good time!! But you might also want to try getting a babysitter and have your husband go with you a time or two!!
2006-08-30 16:56:48 · answer #6 · answered by ashleye114 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say, "Honey, you're home for only 10 days. I don't want "Me Time" I want "Us Time", "Family Time". Have something planned for each day that you can all do together as a family. This way you shouldn't have to worry about leaving him alone with the baby. But, I would let him get up in the middle of the night and change those diapers.
2006-08-30 16:20:09 · answer #7 · answered by TerreriX652 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am a mother of two premature babys and I am very protective of both of them but this is your husband. I suggest taking him up on the offer and go out and have some you time. Stay with him and the baby for the first couple of days and see how he is with the baby parenting should come natural.
2006-08-30 16:17:13 · answer #8 · answered by babykins1025 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have him watch you feed and change the baby. If you're only going out for a couple of hours, he shouldn't have any trouble. Keep your cell phone on and encourage him to call if he needs to.
That said, if he's only home for 10 days, maybe you could find a more experienced sitter (family member or friend) so that you and your husband can go out together.
2006-08-30 16:16:26 · answer #9 · answered by inoym 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not leave the baby alone because if you have not seen him, instead of you going out should you not be spending time with your husband and catching up? It does not sound "healthy" to simply start going out and leaving a child with him alone... I think that you should let him take care of the baby, but you should be in the house, out of the way, but in the house., many things could happen and therefore, a mother knows best... good luck.
2006-08-30 16:15:57 · answer #10 · answered by Snowwhite 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
show him what to do. as a mother you need to get out of the house to keep your stress level down. being in the military isnt easy. he just wants to spend time with his baby. as well as you. take this opptunity to get out. dont be scared, he can always call you on the cell. let him be with the baby during the day and you at night. the last two or three days hes home plan something to do with the family just the 3 of you guys. have fun and congrats.
2006-08-30 16:19:48 · answer #11 · answered by jamiehamster 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋