should you have sex before marrige?

Answer 1

“Some teens think it's really lame to wait, but a sexual relationship is special, unique and worth waiting for. It should be just as acceptable to wait for sex.”

—Nicky, 22, Greeley, CO from Sex, Etc.



It's pretty obvious that the only way to avoid dealing with sh** like AIDS, or all of a sudden thinking you need to kill your baby, is by simply not having sex unless you're married to the guy or girl. It's a no-brainer. One of the biggest reasons people get married to pretty much say to everyone "hey, guess what? I'm commited to this person to love, care, and be there, and when we decide to make babies, we're gonna be ready for it, in every way - not just the physical condom stuff." So much for your dumbass boyfriend ditchin' you for being pregnant. Not happening if you're married to the guy.

"Oral sex is risky. You can't get pregnant, but almost every serious STD can be transmitted through this type of sexual activity. Oral sex is just as intimate as intercourse, it has the same emotional repercussions, and can have the same detrimental effects on relationships if it is entered into lightly."

Ya gotta know a few interesting facts:

1 in 4 teens having sex get Venerial Disease (VD), including AIDS.

About one million teen girls get pregnant every year.

The U.S. has the highest rate of teen pregnancy, birth, and abortion in the "civilized" world.

Less than 33% of teen moms graduate

Around 20,000 young people get AIDS each year, which means that two young Americans aged 13 to 24 get HIV every hour.

Two-thirds of the 12 million Americans with Venerial Disease are younger than 25.


So here are some tips to try:

"Always go with your gut feeling. If things start to get a little “hot,” tell your partner “No.” If you need to, walk away from the situation. If he wines about it, feel free to dump him.

Avoid difficult circumstances, like being home alone with your partner. Be together with other friends or in public places.



Think about chosing to always have your bedroom door open when you and your partner are alone in there



Chose to never make out lying down, maybe? It's worth the try

Always communicate your feelings to your partner (or future partners). Make sure he/she knows upfront you want to wait until you’re married.

Write down the most important reasons you want to wait, and have them ready in your mind. Jot down the pros and cons of having sex, even with using a condom (the way most teens use condoms - which is hardly ever 100% as directed, protects you only 60% of the time, and at the most around 80%, which explains why you prob'ly see so many pregnant girls in your high school; 40% of you won't get pregnent or catch a VD, 100% will) When hormones “rage,” say to yourself, “Sure, I’m tempted to have sex, but even more than that I want to wait because…”

Always remember you have made an important decision for yourself. Don’t let anyone try to talk you out of it. Be proud of your decision. "


I'd hate to sound vulgar, but if you think you need sex real bad, use a replacement. A vibrator, finger, or hand rubbed between your legs should make you feel satisfied until you get married. It's not gross (try it in the shower or bathtub), perfectly normal and OK, won't make you go blind, and is safe from any risk of getting pregnant or catching Venerial Disease. The only "protection" you need when playing there is guarding against "impure" thoughts. Whatever you do, don't feel guilty: you aren't doin' anything wrong.
Here's a thought: how the heck are two virgins (who don't inject drugs) and marry each other gonna end up dyin' of AIDS or scratching themselves for the rest of their lives (Venerial Disease give you stuff like mind boggling pain (talk about gettin' kicked in the balls), crazy itching, loss of your chance to ever have kids in the future, and, ofcourse, death)? Donated blood is always screened for AIDS these days, so obviously there's nothing to be afraid of if you decide to stay a virgin 'till you marry.

Trust me, it's up to you to decide if it's worth it. "If in doubt, don’t. Many people later look back and regret sexual involvement [before marriage]. Very few regret having waited."


*http://teenadvice.about.com/library/weekly/qanda/blchristiansonsex.htm


A few comments from elsewhere on the net...

laci Says:
April 30th, 2004 at 10:41 am
I PERSONALLY THINK ABSTINENCE IS A GREAT IDEA! IM STILL A VIRGIN AND IM 17 YEARS OLD, AND I DONT CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE A DORK! I HAVE FUN AND KNOW HOW TO HAVE A GOOD TIME WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE SEX!I LOVE MY LIFE AS IT IS AND I WOULDNT TRADE FOR THE WORLD! I HAVE A SPECIAL GIFT OF PURITY TO GIVE TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND! NOW AS FOR THE REST OF U WHO WROTE THOSE RUDE COMMENTS I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU B/C U’LL NEVER GET A CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE THAT PURE INTIMACY WITH YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND/WIFE!

lauren williams Says:
May 7th, 2004 at 3:49 pm
I agree with laci! I’m 21 and still a virgin and proud of it. I have a boyfriend of almost 2 yrs. we are getting married and decided not to have sex until then. It’s not easy because of my own wants and the culture we live in. But let me tell you all it’s one of the best gifts to give the one you marry. I also have christ and family/friends to help me. Being a virgin does mean you are a dork. It means you are a wise person. One of my friends I knew since high school is a virgin and is beautiful inside and out. (She looks like janet jackson). Futhermore, people who knew of my virginity especially the guys respected me. And if you have already had sex, stop and wait till you get married. Waiting to have sex until marriage,will allow for a better sex life. You may not get it right the first couple of times, but you have “until death do us part” to get it right!

lauren williams Says:
May 7th, 2004 at 3:52 pm
being a virgin does not mean you’re a dork! (sorry)

Daniel Says:
May 14th, 2004 at 4:21 pm
I have to agree with the list being stupid, but making fun of it is not going to support abstinance. I agree with the last few comments about marriage. I can have sex whenever, but never again can you become a virgin - it’s a one way trip. I am 20 and a virgin, and will savor my marriage.

Amber Says:
September 3rd, 2004 at 6:44 pm
I’m 18 and will stay a virgin until my wedding night. That is my gift to my husband and no other man but him.

DeannaBelle Says:
August 8th, 2005 at 12:16 am
I have many friends from all walks of life. And I promise you, the ones who understand and practice abstinence are the happiest. It’s the ones who don’t who suffer, male and female.

I’ve been with my boyfriend a total of four years now, over a 5-year time period, and we are both virgins. It’s not easy, but with things of value comes hard work.

What is marriage? Why do we need it anyway?



The ultimate common sense definition and explanation:



Sex is for marriage; marriage is for sex.





Essentially, in its most successful model, and for it to play the most positive, purposeful role in society as a whole, marriage is a certification, registration, and proclamation that



1. A man & a woman intend on having sex

2. The man intends on doing everything he can to take care of, protect, respect, value, love the woman;

3. The man and woman certify & register for a potential family, and commit to learning all they can and doing their very best to raise that family in a nurturing environment.

4. The woman commits to taking a comforting, nurturing, life-giving role in the family, while relying on the security and provision of the man



Marriage essentially guarantees clean and secure environments and practices within the home. For example: it is next to impossible for two lovingly married heterosexual virgins, who have lived otherwise responsible lives, to engage in marriage-related activities such as oral & vaginal sex, & have such activity result in a crisis pregnancy, physical or emotional damage, or Venereal Disease such as HIV/ AIDS. Marriage is the ultimate and only guaranteed "Protection" and the only “Safe Sex” (Planned Parenthood can no longer call teenage sex “safe sex”, because they know it isn't safe, and now opt for the term “safer sex”.)

Hope this info helps.

Answer 2

I always wanted to wait. I met my hus when we were 15. We were both more mature than most 15 yr olds, but anywho. We knew we would be togther for the long haul, even though we would not be married for another 6 years. We however did not wait. I knew we loved each other and if it ended badly I could always go back and know we loved each other. But on the other hand I didn't gain or lose, if I had waited, it wouldn't have been a horrible thing, maybe more romantic. Don't believe the whole if you don't before, you may find out that you don't mesh well when its too late. It always takes time in a relationship to get things the way you want in that aspect. my hus and I are learning it gets better every time. and with age.

Answer 3

If you are ready for it in all aspects, then it is your choice. that is not something that anyone else can decide other than you. Some religions teach that it is not right, and in a lot of cases, sex before marriage is something that causes more problems, than both emotional, and physical, than it's worth (personal opinion). But what is right for one person is not always right for another. The sad thing is, often people make a decision before they have the experience to know about some of the emotional complications that sex can bring and don't learn about or don't care about proper safe sex practices, or some of the STD's out there, until it's too late. Instead they make a blind decision to have sex, and regret it afterwards because of what they learned during.

Answer 4

You shouldn't, have sex before marriage, but it is advised not strongly practiced. We are a lustful creature and need to be satisfied in every human way possible, waiting until marriage is only for the strong...

Answer 5

That depends on a lot of issues. What does your religion say about it? How old are you? How do you feel about this? Have you ever had sex before? You need to think about all of these questions before you make your decision.

Answer 6

yes definitely. because what happens when your married and you have sex and realize that things have changed after sex. Then what are you going to do? You may as well go 100% with a person so you know for sure that you can handle marriage.

Answer 7

That topic is very sensitive it depends on alot of things, some cultures believe not to have sex until you are married. If you are with the person you love and are with them for quite some time then what ever you feel is comfortable is your decision.

Answer 8

Yes, everyone should have sex before getting married. It's smart.
You don't buy a car without driving it first, I would never marry a girl who has not had sex. It just means shes a lonley sap.

Answer 9

That's an individual thing. I was brought up in a very liberal household where sex before marriage wasn't a sin and taught safe sex. So sex before marriage wasn't a question for me, and I'm not sorry I did it. Only you can answer this question for yourself, honey.

Answer 10

It's like asking if you should snack before dinner... As long as you're an adult, you should be free to do what you feel is right for you, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. I snack before dinner all the time... Doesn't make me enjoy my dinner any less! Sex - before, during or after marriage - is just one of the many joys of life for us to enjoy responsibly.

Answer 11

The bible says no but it's entirely up to you.
If you feel ready to have sex before marriage then go for it. It's your decision.