I'm 16 year's old & I have been shy all of my life!!! I hate it so much! It feels like I'm missing out on so much..& missing apart of me that I haven't yet discovered but is so anxious to come out!! I tell myslef "Just have confienence in yourself, don't care about what they think, be yourself, be this be that..." I KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! That's not my question.You see, I think all of that, but when the time comes to achually DO IT! I freeze & shy-up. I talk all low & stuff.Just not me AT ALL!There's so much to me then what I show people.I know, some day I will overcome it.I just thought I would hear what you have to say about all of this & could maybe help me out.I hope someone understands were I'm coming from..If you do, How did you overcome it???
ALSO, I have my days were I'm possitive & myself..but just to SOME people who I feel comfortable with..Others think I'm stuck up or whatever..I'm not stuck up..Not at all..Im the complete opposite..This is killing me inside..
2006-08-30 15:11:10 · 8 answers · asked by Savanna 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I spent a lifetime in the same place your in and I understand your pain/confusion. From time to time it still haunts me, but the majority of the time I am fine. So.....what did it take to get here? I could recite platitudes and tell you not to care what other people think but the reality of the situation is, it takes time to know yourself. There is no easy path nor quick way to resolve this situation. It takes perspective to appreciate who you are, and that is difficult to gain by the tender age of 16. Just accept that you will change and love yourself for who you are now. Your path will be different from mine but just as wonderful.
2006-08-30 15:28:07 · answer #1 · answered by bobb1 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you are in the wrong section. But i will try to help. Shyness stems from insecurity, low self esteem and low confidence. You have been socially conditioned to be shy, maybe because you were picked on, or did not have enough positive reinforcement as a child... unfortunately this has effected you as an adult (you are an adult arent you?) What i suggest is this. First. Realize most people are shy to some degree. Everyone has reservations when dealing with other people to some extent, everybody doubts themselves and has insecurities. You are not alone in the way you feel. Secondly, to deal with shyness you are going to have to be persistent, it is going to take time and practice. Start off with some very small things you could do. smile to a check out clerk and ask how there day is. build up from small to large. Analyze the way you think. Google "distorted thinking" and read up you may be surprised what you find, and eliminate any negative thinking patterns. Third. Be kind to yourself..and respect yourself. No one is going to do that for you. Do not put yourself down. Try not to dwell on things. What has happened has happened and look towards the future for improvement. ignore insults. Remember compliments. If you cant talk to people in real life, find a forum online for people who suffer from shyness. Read up on things you can do. You can escape if you really want to.
2016-03-17 05:02:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem, and I am much older than you.
I think one way to approach it is to try working on your "people skills". There are lots of books about this, like "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. You can also look at people who have good people skills and try to study them a bit--what do they do when they are with other people, what are their techniques? If it is someone you are close to, you might ask them what they do to be so at ease with people, and if they ever have to overcome shyness (you might be surprised).
I think that if you have good people skills you get less nervous around people, the same way that an inexperienced driver feels panicky in traffic, and an experienced driver does not. And if you feel less nervous, you won't be so shy.
Also, please remember that shyness is not always bad. It can be pretty charming, especially if you genuinely like people and are interested in them. Shyness can be a form of modesty, which is one of the great virtues. And I think shyness is pretty common (normal even) in young ladies your age. Don't let the egotistical self-promoters that you see on reality TV shows convince you otherwise.
2006-08-30 18:18:00 · answer #3 · answered by AZNYC 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi i'm 17 years old and I have a problem with being shy, too. I have been shy all my life and I'm still trying to overcome it. I have come out little, but i want 2 come out all the way out. Now I'm a freshman in college, it seems like it was when i first started high school, but i'm doing ok because i have a friend with me. I know i'm not answering your question but its nice to know that someone is shy just like me and trying 2 overcome it. My friends just tell me 2 be myself don't think about what other people think about u, just be u and do it.
2006-08-30 15:24:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I spent much of my school years completely shy and not opening up until i really knew someone. then i accepted a job that travelled across country, selling things door to door. (that's not my suggestion, no worries). My suggestion is to get a part-time job after school or start volunteering, it forces you to speak to people everyday who don't know you & it eases the transition for speaking to people you see at school all the time, or people directly in your life. Plus, it gives you a world of stories - stories mean conversational things to say!
2006-08-30 17:14:40 · answer #5 · answered by jennocide 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your life is just starting! Remind yourself every day about the things you do well, and about why you are a good girl..
1) If you are kind to your parents (for example) remind yourself.
2) If you polite to others, tell yourself that.
3) If you ask your ‘mother’ questions, and if you remember to stay OFF Yahoo Answers – since it is not safe for you – then, pat yourself on the back! ‘This place’ is not good for your self-esteem!
4) If you are good at a particular subject at school, look in the mirror and smile at yourself and remind yourself about that….
2006-08-30 15:31:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
#1 Social Reprogramming Method - http://SocialAnxiety.uzaev.com/?lGMT
2016-06-21 12:54:22 · answer #7 · answered by Dorthea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you're not stuck up then don't hang around with those who think you are, and if you're comfortable around some people start by hanging around with them and you'll eventually get usd to being more open and you'll stop freezing up, and those people probably have other friends that you'd meat too. hope this helps, just take it slow
2006-08-30 15:19:02 · answer #8 · answered by Jess 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
.... go, bobb1 - good answer!!!!
2006-08-30 15:43:19 · answer #9 · answered by vernin822 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋