I recently found out that a guy friend I used to have a crush on is gay and semi-open (only to a few close people). What I don't understand is that he actively pursued me and showed interest- I can understand that maybe it was a cover in front of others, but he initiated kissing me and trying to go further and I'd catch him checking me out/looking at my cleavage, etc. I just don't understand. We've talked about the fact that I know he's gay, but I don't know if I should just ask him flat out or not why he lead me on? I don't want him to think I am mad at him b/c I know that is a fear he has about coming out. I'd understand if he was confused or something, but he told me he's known for a long time that he is gay. He also told me he enjoys flirting with and checking out pretty girls? Can any gay men out there help me understand this? I really want to understand so I can shake this ounce of anger that I have (as in why would you lead me on?) and just be there to support him.
2006-08-30 14:57:18 · 11 answers · asked by michelle w 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
mayb hes actually bi
2006-08-30 15:14:44 · answer #1 · answered by mat 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lots of people say this is a last minute attempt to be gay but I agree loads and loads of gay men sleep with women and still claim to be gay. I've met some 100% gay men who would never entertain the thought of women but there are some that will get their end away whatever is on offer. I had to go out with someone who claimed to be gay and wa sout and proud but was desperate to sleep with a women again because it had been about 5 years since he last slept with one and was getting the urge for straight sex. Sexuality can be confusing.
2016-03-17 05:02:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there are plenty of possibilities:
1. He might be just trying to cover up his sexual orientation and hide it from people.
2. Maybe he's not 100% comfortable with the fact that he's gay and he's consequently trying to deceive/influence himself to change by pursuing you.
3. He might be bisexual or bi-curious.
Safest solution is to be direct and ask him. If you're already that close (at least physically), I don't see why you would have problems asking him.
2006-08-30 15:27:41 · answer #3 · answered by Cheshire Riddle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One posibility that "prisonerofdepths" didn't think of:
He might just want to see if you'ld be "baby makin'" material.
Hey, don't knock it. Some gays/lesbians have heterosexual sex just to procreate, it doesn't automatically make his "Gay Card" null and void.
But there's a very real possibility he's participating in one of those "Ex-gay" groups who's making him do "homework" by comming on to someone of the opposite gender.
Word of warning, if this is the case...these places DO NOT WORK! These places are doing more harm than good. They only cause more confussion, depression, even suicidal tendencies or gender dysphoria.
They're dangerous!
2006-08-30 20:34:40 · answer #4 · answered by DEATH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he could make a commitment to you, he is bi. If he's just flirting with no where to go, he's gay.
2006-08-30 16:48:11 · answer #5 · answered by crystal89431 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That happened to me. He said he was gay but would always have a woman in his life. He was a pig who was obsessed with sex. He was also mental!
2006-08-30 17:56:58 · answer #6 · answered by pinkrosegreeneyes bluerose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could either be bi or as you said using you as a cover up. I've seen it happen before.
2006-08-31 05:18:16 · answer #7 · answered by Scully 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be bi, darling. But don't let this fool run any game on you either. You need to just move on from this "drama king" and let him sort his "feelings" out on, er, with someone else.
2006-08-30 17:34:41 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Mat, he's probably Bi.
2006-08-30 17:08:36 · answer #9 · answered by ~Twisted Sister~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say that he's gay I'd say he's bisexual.
2006-08-30 15:56:56 · answer #10 · answered by Necole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋