my fiance used to smoke weed every day, but since ive moved in, he's only done it a few times. i told him that i couldn't have a family with someone who was going to do that because it's not something i want to expose my children to, but he did it again anyways. im at the end of my rope and i don't know what to do. he has a really good argument for why he does it, and it makes sense, but i still hate it and don't want him to do it.
2006-08-30 14:45:28 · 9 answers · asked by Bailey J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That's why you date and choose the person you want to marry!!! Forget trying to change him. You got mixed up with a drug user and decided to become engaged anyway. Were you on drugs too by any chance?
If you've changed your mind, fine. Probably a very good decision. You have a very good reason to end the relationship. Although, you are very guilty of leading someone on that you never had any true interest in having a future with. Now do what you should have done in the first place and move on. Find someone who shares your values and would make a good partner for you.
Sorry if I sound a little harsh, but you need to hear this. Why does this guy have to be a different person now than the one you decided to get serious about? Not really fair is it? You were not being true to yourself when you got involved with this drug user. You've been leading him on and attempting to turn him into someone you could REALLY be interested in. You've been fooling yourself and him.
2006-08-31 12:30:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all he isn't going to stop completely until he WANTS to stop.
You are doing the right thing about not wanting him to do it and not wanting to be around it. Watch out, if he is not serious about quiting then he may be sneaking around behind your back.
Tell him you are serious about this, and if he cares about you and really wants a life with you, you are not going to be with someone that does drugs.
I have a friend, she was dating a guy that only smoked pot here and there, well she really didn't try to put a stop to it while they were dating, now they are married with 2 small children, and she has a very hard time getting him to pay the bills and buy groceries, because he spend what he calls "their extra money" on pot. What is sad he is throwing all their lives away, not just his. With him doing this, they will never have a good life. Because how is he going to start a savings account, or anything like this?
Need to get the situation taken care of before you say "I DO". Don't think you can change him just because you get married.
Good luck!!!
2006-08-30 21:55:37 · answer #2 · answered by sweetpeachiebear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but i dont have an answer for you the funny thing is i can relate to you i am having the same problem, just he is not my fiance he is my boyfriend and we live together for 2 years. He smokes pot and i dont and I feel like it is affecting our relationship so much, he never wants to do anything but watch t.v. he is in another world half the time,excuse my french but he never wants to have sex with me cause he is always to tired, he get mood swings so we are always fighting, and to top it off i told him I do not want to marry a pot head or have a pothead to father my children and all i hear is ok im gonna stop but then he does it behind my back. my only advise to you which i should take is if they cannot sacrifice something for us we deserve much better.
2006-08-30 21:53:04 · answer #3 · answered by julie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start smokin' with him and you will be much happier. Would you rather him be an alcoholic? If the pot doesn't interfere with anything then what is the problem? If it causes problems, beyond the fact that you don't like it, then he should see that and quit on his own. What is wrong with once in a while, anyway? Its no different from drinking and probably less harmful in low doses. Why do women always want to change men? Don't you learn anything from chick-flicks?
2006-08-31 12:21:15 · answer #4 · answered by Nerdbot 5000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, examine whether or not your objections have merit. There are indications that marijiuana is far less harmful than alcohol. Nevertheless, if you want him to stop- show him pictures of men with large breasts and the studies that associate smoking pot with big boobies on the men.
2006-08-30 21:49:51 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so many girls do this,im not on his side but undertsand you got with him and knew he was smoking pot before you got with him you knew he was doing it and you got with him knowing he was doing it so why are you trying to give him and ultimatium or change him,be gratefull he has cut right down its not easy for a guy to just give up something like that when he has been doing it every day,if you hate it then you should not have gotten together with him in the first place
2006-08-30 21:55:56 · answer #6 · answered by treatau 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't...... Move out and tell him its something he has to decide for himself. Either quit and get on with his life and you get on with yours. Find a guy who will appreciate you and not dependent upon a drug. Pot is a graduating drug which leads to more and more powerfull drugs. Don't take the chance and become a statistic along with him. He'll only drag you down....
2006-08-30 23:02:08 · answer #7 · answered by joser146@verizon.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats how it was for my friends cuosin so she went to his house grabbed a joint and said do u want me to do this stuff he said no she goes well i dont want you either so stop and im not sure about everything else but she smoked a joint and acted like a fool then he saw how it effected him and he stopped for her. well his reason isnt very good what is it b/c he's stressed or helps him focus thats dumb if he needs that kind of help there is other meds. for that kind of stuff.
2006-08-30 21:54:05 · answer #8 · answered by SMILES:) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break-up with him and don't go back. Find someone else.
2006-08-30 21:50:35 · answer #9 · answered by newyorkgal71 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋