So, I’ve been dating this guy for two years. He has stayed at my place at least 26 out of 30 nights, for the last year and a half. He doesn’t even check on his place during those 26 days. However, he does not admit that he lives here. Won’t call if he is going to be late, won’t pay part of the bills, etc. So, in my infinite craziness, I boxed up his stuff (a lot of stuff), and told him that since he does not live here, he needs to move out. We can ‘date.’ The question is- am I reasonably protecting my children and my self from a selfish partner, or am I ‘punishing’ him?
2006-08-30 14:41:43 · 18 answers · asked by Jessica 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You have absolutely done the right thing. You have children and he owes it to them to only establish a tight bond if he is willing to make a commitment. He really needs to grow up and think about the consequences of his actions; there are other people involved in this relationship- not just you and him. Maybe by standing your ground, you will give him a reality check and he will decide that he really wants to be a full-time part of your family. If he doesn't; it's best that you find out sooner rather than later.
2006-08-30 14:51:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are reasonably protecting your children from a selfish partner.
I honestly don't think you should be with a man who isn't willing to help you out with bills when he obviously uses his share of your stuff.
If 26 out of 30 days each month, he's using way more of your water then his, way more electricity then his, and is eating your food!
If he wants to pretend he doesn't live there and pay no bills he is a selfish broke bastard that seriously needs a reality check.
Kudos to you for being independent in the sense of kicking him out. Get rid of him, you don't need a man like that lying around the house.
2006-08-30 21:46:41 · answer #2 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you're punishing yourself by letting him stay with you, for free! Is he lazy or what? Yes, he is selfish. He has no right to take advantage of you, especially when you have a child/children to look out for.
You know that you deserve someone who really wants to be a participating player in this relationship.
I think you did the right thing by helping him move out. Good for you.
2006-08-30 21:48:27 · answer #3 · answered by Pam H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BRAVO! If you boxed up clothes, a razor and a toothbrush, he was living there. If all that went on for a year and a half, it was a year and a half too long. It's just common courtesy to call if you're going to be late for anything, and you "know" when someone is expecting you. You ARE NOT punishing him!
2006-08-30 21:47:42 · answer #4 · answered by msuzyq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only did you do the right thing, but you've just made about every other women in your situation think twice about doing the same thing. Honey, your priorities to protect you children and your future are exactly where they are suppose to be. Don't think twice about what you did.
2006-08-30 21:51:19 · answer #5 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the RIGHT thing. If he still thinks he doesnt live there and thinks he doesnt have to pitch in with bills then he should be looking for another place to go and you should be looking for a better man.
2006-08-30 21:44:53 · answer #6 · answered by ziggunerin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop enabling people and take care of your life and your children.
Throwing out your BF was the biggest step you've taken so far.
Where is (or are) the father (or fathers) of your children? Time to demand child support.
2006-08-31 01:04:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you did the right thing packing his stuff up and reminding him that he has his own place. seems he wants the best of both worlds. being single and the benifits of a woman. if he can't help you out then you dont need to house and feed him.
2006-08-30 21:53:49 · answer #8 · answered by gigi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you did was perfect.You were not getting respect from him so why keep a dead load hanging around ?You just might meet someone who is right for you.You dont deserve his disrespect nor do you need to support him and be his false wife.I applaude you in your decision in booting him out.
2006-08-30 21:48:04 · answer #9 · answered by ladypet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like you are doing the right thing. Sounds like he is trying to have the convenience of a live-in relationship, without any of the responsibility.
Don't let him use you. If he is going to live there, he should help out!!!!
2006-08-30 21:46:52 · answer #10 · answered by sweetpeachiebear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋