My husband would rather sit and play his game all day then to talk to me . We have not had sex for the past three months which seems to be seems like that is becoming a tradition because it was about three months the time before that too. That time if was not even that great. We never spend any time together. He spends time with our son and that is it. No time for me. He loves to work 3-11pm which means he doesn't see me at all because I work 7-3pm. When he comes home I ask him to wake me up and he just stays downstairs and plays his game until the wee hours of the morning. He always seems like he has an attitude with me whenever I talk to him. He never tells me he loves me or even touches me for that matter. He always makes the baby sleep in between us. When I ask him about that and everything else that is bothering me he tells me he doesn't see what I am talking about. Do you think he is cheating on me or is he just preoccupied with our son and his game?
2006-08-30 14:22:30 · 21 answers · asked by LOST and CONFUSED 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he is not cheating on you. he probably lost his sexual drive during your pregnancy. this is very common. many men don't think of women the same way after having children. if you chunked up during pregancy, start knocking the weight off and try to look attractive again. his sexual desire will return when he sees you as a cute woman again instead of a chunky baby machine. don't just blame him for turning away, if you want to save your marriage try to fix the reason he is turning away. good luck.
2006-08-30 14:34:24 · answer #1 · answered by richard457 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's cheating.
He is trying to preoccupy himself with tons of games and attention on your son so that you won't think he's cheating, but he probably is.
He has all the chance to cheat since he works a graveyard shift. And you'd think he'd want to work hours that could fit in with being able to see you or want to see you when he comes home at 11.
You are being a nice wife and asking him to wake YOU up just so you can see him and he doesn't even do that... he's not worth your time.
Unplug his games and wait up for him one night till 11. When he gets in, have a long time with him.
Inform him that you feel neglected. Is he cheating? You don't know but that you don't want change otherwise you will divorce. Tell him that marriage is a compromise and if he loved you he'd want to see you or wake you up when you ask him to. Tell him that his entire life shouldn't be occupied with video games, it should be occupied with family time... with ALL of the family!
If he doesn't change, a divorce may be the only solution.
2006-08-30 21:40:00 · answer #2 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for almost 6 years and my husband act the same way, except for in the place of his games, he is always gambling somewhere. He never have time for our 2 children. It sounds like your husband needs to grow up just like mine. Sometime I do think my husband is cheating, but I really think he is very selfish and only worrie about himself. The answer to your question: he is just probably preoccupied, that's all. You know what works, ignore him, pretend he is not there and he will start showing some concern.
2006-08-30 21:31:12 · answer #3 · answered by ksf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about cheating but I do know he has lost interest in you. Either he is doing somebody behind your back or the fire has gone out. Maybe you need to change your shift if possible and be at home when he is or vise- versa. You both need to be at home at the same time. Put the baby to bed early then that way you can be alone together. If all he wants to do is play his game' play with him. That way he can't avoid you he will have to talk to you. If you can' Try it' see what happens.
2006-08-30 21:44:53 · answer #4 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel so sorry for you. That is no kind of a marriage whatsoever.
I can't see one thing about your circumstances that would make me want to hang on any longer. File for divorce. You don't deserve to be treated that way. You need a man---not a boy who wants to play video games until the "wee hours of the morning."
Yes, its very likely he's cheating if he is putting your baby in between you when you sleep -----along with everything else you described. Get yourself a good divorce lawyer. Good luck!
2006-08-30 21:39:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most probable cause:
1. He has some other love outside of marriage
2. He has lost his "love" for you
3. Something happened between you that has resulted in his behaviour
4. He's not had a satisfactory sex life with you.
How did you get together in the first place and led you down the marriage path? This could provide the answer.
2006-08-30 21:37:33 · answer #6 · answered by G.T. L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to get him in trouble, but, being a man it sounds to me like he does have other interests.That is, unless there is some medical reason.Does he come home on time? Is he really at work? does he leave work early? Does he make excuses to leave the house when he's not working? Etc. Lots of questions you need answers to. Maybe you should call that cheaters show. And see if your situation qualifies to be investigated.
2006-08-30 21:39:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recommend a marriage counselor, but who am I to talk. My spouse watching CNN and news where I do not enjoy watching any of that. My habit is playing games on the computer and hers is watching television in her bedroom.
My wife does not work, and I do two jobs therefore I am never home except to sleep. My wife never touches me, she says I as the man should do the touching not her.
I wish you and your spouse the best, I hope that you and your spouse can work it out before it is too late.
2006-08-30 21:33:42 · answer #8 · answered by homermisc2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The whole thing with having sex once every three months, makes me think that he is cheating. Think about it, does he have the time to cheat? You are his wife, you have the right to investigate a little. Are you positive he works where he says he does and the hours he says he does? Investigate, but don't make it obvious until you discover something. And if you don't discover anything, then maybe you need to spice things up a little.
2006-08-30 21:27:08 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ive been married for 5years and im feel the same way you do. and it hurts. if he stays up all night most likely he sleeping most of the day but spy dont mean to be like that but are you sure hes playing games or sneeking out when you asleep. i know you having a hard time. i feel like if my husband just doesnt want me anymore i dk about you but it is lonely. if your writing this you are having doubts if you ever need to talk you can e-mail at the same name im using @ yahoo k hope you do it would be nice having someone to talk to.
2006-08-30 21:37:46 · answer #10 · answered by sohot4u22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋