i am very unsecure as a man up to the extent of hitting a woman i love , can anything or anybody help me?

Answer 1

You know hitting her is very, very wrong - always, no matter what the reason. You know you feel insecure. You need professional help - FAST - not advice from a bunch of untrained strangers. Please ask your doctor to refer you to a mental health professional RIGHT AWAY. This situation will only get worse if you don't get help.

Admitting your problem is an important first step, but now take that second step and get help. Good luck!

Answer 2

Yes. You can do different things to avoid that. One, is to make an agreement with your girlfriend or wife to have a signal when you two are very angry or when you become angry. Have a plan. For instance, sit down and discuss what you two can do to avoid this escalation by seeing what topics or things usually cause you to go off. Then reach a decision on what to do when you are in that state of mind and make yourself do it. One thing would be to say Please leave the room or I need to go outside. That would be a cue for her to know that you are getting really upset. That would be one step for you to take. Learn to think before doing. Hitting never solves anything. You insecurities only get worse, because deep down you feel bad and out of control, as you already must know. Try taking deep breaths and closing your eyes to focus on something else. If you are talking about something that is important, but is also a difficult thing to discuss, stay seated and make yourself stay seated. That would be another option. But for real, you may need to take an anger management course. I don't know how bad your problem is, but you need to do something and it is good that you see that. Tell her that you know that you do have this problem and that you are aware that it is a problem. I mean she already knows this is a problem, but by you admitting it to her and asking her for ideas and making a safety plan and following through will show her that you want to change for real. If you feel like you are going to hurt her or anyone else, you really need to get out of that place and take a walk. Always remove yourself from the situation. This does not mean to get in a car and take off squeeling tires, going 70mph down the road or going to the local bar to get drunk. It means to just remove yourself from that situation and cool off. You need to also think about why you are so insecure? Maybe you need to see a therapist or talk to someone like a close friend. Maybe you do not need to be in a relationship with this person. I don't know your circumstances, but you need to do something to help your self-esteem and not to make you feel powerful just by using force. You need to feel loved and safe and so does your partner. Any abuse is not acceptable. Maybe couple's therapy would help too b/c I am not sure about her behavior or how she handles things. But I would highly recommend that you see a therapist or some type of counselor to help you. Getting help is nothing to be ashamed of. Not getting help and continuing that behavior is.

Answer 3

don't every hit a women period. its not right and you know it. Now if she wants you too, deny just say you won't do it. Even if she really wanted you to, you'll earn some points by not.