I have been with this guy for a year and a 1/2 and we are planning on getting married in a couple of months. I really want to get pregnant and he wants to wait. I sometimes get emotional after sex, because he pulls out. It makes me feel like he is not serious with me. I really love him and I want to share something special with him (his kid). Is this wrong of me? What is the difference of now and two months? At the same time I do want to wait until we are married but I just can't help what I feel.
2006-08-30 14:13:18 · 13 answers · asked by mommy@18 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
He said he is ready just not yet.
2006-08-30 14:19:10 · update #1
I already have a 2 year old from a previous relationship. He also has a kid that he can not see. He is scared that I'm going to leave him after I get pregnant like the other girl, but I love him and want to be with him the rest of my life
2006-08-30 14:27:05 · update #2
It's good that you love him and want to share your love for each other by having a child. But, my advise would be wait until both of you are ready to have a baby.It doesn't mean that he NEVER wants one....he just wants to wait awhile. That's all. I think he sounds responsible. And, don't pressure him..let him come to the point of wanting one on his own... or else he may end up resenting you. I think I pressured my ex-husband to have a baby right after we got married and he resented me for it..I knew he wasn't ready...but,yet I wouldn't let up...and , that's when our problems began.Enjoy each other every day... don't rush things..it will all happen in it's own time..when you BOTH are ready. GOOD LUCK! :)
2006-08-30 19:49:34 · answer #1 · answered by hthr34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You "both" really should be ready. you will be sharing something specail with this guy, a lifetime together in marriage!! Have a marriage for a while to get to know eachother and adjust to that first and when you BOTH are ready truly, then start a family. i think you can share something special with him as a marreid couple first and getting pregnant in a marriage may make him feel right about it as well. If you wait until you are married, it is extra special. Maybe you need to postpone the wedding until you are emotionally ready for married life first before having a kid with him. it only sounds like you want a kid and that is it. If you love this man respect him in this decision and think perhaps he wants to concieve a child while being married. If you cannot wait 2 months, then perhpas he needs tomove on to someone who can. Good Luck to you both-- and Congrats
2006-08-30 21:25:27 · answer #2 · answered by yeppers 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's not wrong of you! But you might be getting alittle baby hungry!
You still sound young, i woudl wait just a little bit, do things together that you will not be able to do afte you have a baby! go camping, travel and such then start a family! Not saying wait till you are 30 or anything, but i'm 21 and we plan are starting when i'm almost 24!
when we first got married i wanted a baby really bad too! I thought about it all the time! I eventually had to make myself realise that I didn't need a baby that very second, it will eventually come and i will be more prepared to be a mother!
I say wait until you are married, that way you are sicker than a dog on your wedding day and your dress will fit!
You are fine, you will eventually share a life with him. All in good time sweetie!
Good Luck!
2006-08-30 21:18:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You haven't said how long he wants to wait. Is it until right after the wedding or a few more years?
Also you say that you are planning on getting married in a couple of months. Is this definite or just a current plan? You call him a guy in your post and not your fiance.
I don't think it is wrong of you to want to carry his child. It is find to have these feelings, it just isn't fine to act on them at this point. Right now you have lots of things to share with him - making wedding plans, carrying the relationship to the next level, discussing feels about strengthening your bond.
It's much healthier for the child to be conceived by two parents who want the child as opposed to one who does and one who isn't ready.
I got accidently pregnant while using birth control and chose not to marry the guy because he was totally unstable. Biological parents can do all kinds of harm under these circumstances. My son's father steered clear of him and then sued for joint custody when he got married. Out of 12 years, four have been a total nightmare. My son was put into an environment with three older step-siblings, one of whom was charged with drug possession at school.
So please balance those feelings with some reality and make sure that you aren't trying to lock him into marriage by becoming pregnant because plenty of guys run the other way.
2006-08-30 21:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop worrying about what you "feel" and start to THINK. Your future child has a right to both a mother and a father who are in a committed marriage. Instead of pulling out, abstain from sex until after you are rightfully married. forgive me for being a bit harsh, but the nature of your question suggests that you are not ready to be a mother. You do not understand that parenthood is a lifelong commitment to sacrifice for your child. If you are not ready to bring up your child in a committed marriage, with complete selfless love, you are not ready. Wanting to "share a kid" with your boyfriend is a terrible reason to have a child. Please think about how your actions now will impact your future child.
2006-08-30 21:23:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to hang in there. Many people frown upon pregnancy out of wedlock, and it will be much easier for the both of you if you can wait until you are married. Weddings, pregnancy, and babies can all cause a lot of stress, and they say that couples tend to be much happier if they don't have a baby for at least a year after they get married so they have time to adjust to the marriage before a new baby starts completely rearranging their lives. You can wait. Think of trying to conceive as a wedding present to yourselves. You wouldn't want to spoil it and open it now!
2006-08-30 21:18:41 · answer #6 · answered by Cara B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should wait until you get married to have a child and if he's not ready then you should wait until both of you are ready. It takes two to make a baby and i think it should be planned and not something both of you are ready for. you are planning on getting married therefore you have your whole lives ahead of you so dont rush it. i understand that you want to share something special with him but if you love him as much as you say you do you'll wait until he's ready
2006-08-30 21:29:03 · answer #7 · answered by goodas 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to respect his borders. You can't just expect him to be ready the same time you are. Don't put pressure on the topic. You need to be patient...and when he's ready, he's ready. Being a parent is a commitment. Whether he's ready or not is out of your hands. It might help if you discuss this with him and hear what he has to say, then find a reasonable solution.
2006-08-30 21:34:30 · answer #8 · answered by gal-next-door17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a cold shower and think about what you're saying. I can appreciate the fact that you love him and want to give him a baby....BUT, it's much better (my opinion) when the man and woman BOTH agree that they want to conceive. I say, wait 2 months.
2006-08-30 21:19:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you're married, it's only a couple of months.
2006-08-30 21:24:04 · answer #10 · answered by skippygordon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋