how involved do I need to be in my step-son's and family life. It bothers my husband that I'm not more

Question

My husband and son have always been close they like to do a lot together He comes to our house with family at least monthly and stays over 3-4 days. They don't like me I don't have much in common with his wife. I don't care for parenting skills. Many times they leave her and children with me and go off alone. Husband has tried to be better about including me but if i go do my own thing he is upset that I don't try harder to make effort. If they move closer I wonder how I will have any time with my husband because he will always have plans with them. I feel bad that i don't feel better towards them or want them around more. What should I do?

Answer 1

In my opinion, when you married your husband, you get the extended family as well. Trying to be part of that can only strengthen your relationship with your husband, and unless his son is clueless, should go far in demonstrating that you value being part of their lives.

Answer 2

in spite of the certainty that it is hassle-free to work out how lots you care approximately your stepson and that's an excellent element - you haven't any longer any status in this. My first theory is why is your husband not greater in touch in this youngster's existence? Why are YOU the single going to activities and outings with the youngster and not his very own father?? 2d, your husband ought to pursue criminal action - yet he'd ought to decide for to first! there is isn't something which you're able to do. He ought to request that a clause interior the parenting plan concerning communique with the mummy be set - alongside with one telephone call according to night mutually as the youngster is interior the father's care. i think of it is ridiculous that the son and mom textual content all night and he or she tries to guilt him. additionally, call you interior sight non-emergency police line and ask, yet i'm exceedingly advantageous 11 is far too youthful to legally be at residing house watching different infants. In my state, it is 13. Your husband ought to call the police mutually as he knew this grow to be happening and take the youngster out of the residing house and in all probability win custody over something like that. back, it would not sound like he's surely that involved interior the youngster's well being.

Answer 3

Talk to your husband about it. Tell him that you don't really have anything in common with the wife and you don't understand why their visiting should interrupt your life. In the meantime, you can try to be more friendly take the daughter in law with you to run some errands maybe you two would develop some conversation and try not to be too judgmental about their parenting skills. They are probably new at this. In the end remember it's all about keeping hubby happy.

Answer 4

You don't make much sense. Reread your question. You said " Many times they leave her and children with me and go off alone." Who?? Your husband and his ex-wife go off alone?? I hope that's not the case.

But secondly, you say you feel bad cause you don't feel better toward them, or that you don't want them around more. No offense, BUT, you did marry him knowing he had a child and an ex-wife. No one's asking you to be best friends with her, but it's important you are cordial with her.
And secondly, about the child? You should love him as if he's your own. After all, he IS your HUSBAND's Child. And you love your husband, don't you? You said it yourself, he is upset that you don't try harder and make an effort. DO you want him to be upset? Go make an effort.

Answer 5

since you mention that you don't care for parenting, your looking at trouble coming up. most stepmothers let time get them in so they can become a family. why the ex-wife would come with the children to stay is even more trouble as its a marriage that looks as it will be on the rocks. most step parents try to be in the life of the child as much as if it was their own. just being there for them and letting them know they can come to you for anything helps the bonding.

Answer 6

ive been there its hard becasue on one end there you are trying to be there and get to know them and the child but at the same time they treat you as if you dont matter and the son is probably resentful becasue he wishes his dad was with his mom instead of you dont let them run over you but be considerate to the childs feelings and try to treat him as he would do your own and you husband should also make sure they are respectful of you this situation cant be one sided just hang in there and communicate with him when you feel that things are going on and you dont feel included becasue you should if you are his wife.

Answer 7

your question is alitte fuzzy but I will try to answer as best I can, it sounds as if your husband it doing his best to be a father, you need to find things you do enjoy or that you all agree on and do those things. it will be winter soon and you guys can rent movies and make up fun things to do at home. when you say they who all is involed? if you give me more clear details I can help but. your question arises other questions try to be more clear. you said they leave her and the kids who is her. who goes off alone. I really would like to help. I have a similar situation.

Answer 8

if they don't like you and you don't have much in common , there isn't much that can be done, The only thing I see is if you know the reason they don't like you, try to fix that.and if you try to get interested in what they like will help also.But if you really do not like them then just tolerate them when you have to.