My wife of 25yrs went out drinking with workmates then spent the night at her bosses place. they slept naked in the same bed and cuddled all night. she says they did not have sex and it was not intimate.She said it meant nothing and she just needed to be held and cuddled by some one to make her feel like a woman again.I know we had been going through a rough patch. If she only needed to be held why get naked? I have tried to forgive but cant forget. she doesnt want to talk about it and i feel i am the one who has done something wrong. can anyone tell me what i should do?
2006-08-30 11:47:24 · 29 answers · asked by Len C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you want to be with her, get counseling. There are obviously dome deep rooted issues there that need to be discussed.
Personally, I think that is a total deception. Just because you and your wife were having issues, does not mean she can get naked with other men. And she is lying when she says it was not intimate because cuddling and holding are the MOST intimate times for women. I don't know how you can gain back trust but stop blaming yourself. Nobody who is faithful deserves to be cheated on. Rather than be mature and responsible and discuss the issues, she chose to seek comfort elsewhere. After 25 years of marriage that is just total disrespect!
2006-08-30 11:56:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, ask yourself what adult you known (now or ever) who's slept naked and cuddled someone "to make them feel like a woman/man again." and didn't have sex?
Now... You don't say what you've done that make you feel you're the one who's done something wrong. What justifies an affair? Sleeping with her sister? Beating her? The answer is nothing. If you were doing something that awful, she simply could have left. More than likely she doesn't leave and chooses to continue her affair because she's got you being the heavy and accepting her silence.
You might better start asking yourself how long you're will to wait for her change jobs and start treating you like a man again, or how quickly and cheaply you can get out of that dead horse of a marriage and find someone who will.
2006-08-30 12:09:17 · answer #2 · answered by IAINTELLEN 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She slept naked next to a man all night and nothing happened? Yeah, right. That's an insult to your intelligence and if you believe it, you're a fool.
That's the worst lie I've heard in some time. Why didn't she just say she crashed at his house in another bed? That other people were there too, because they had drank too much.
Sounds like she can't even be honest with herself and take responsibility for her actions.
2006-08-30 12:51:22 · answer #3 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You haven't done anything wrong-she has. That is nonsense what she did. She doesn't need to be cuddled by another man, especially naked! Is she trying to get a raise or what?!
I wouldn't put up with that...even though ya'll were having some problems didn't mean she had to go out & get drunk & sleep with her boss. What a way to blow your 25 yr marriage!!
2006-08-30 12:22:12 · answer #4 · answered by beachbum26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well firstly congrats on 25 years of marriage that's huge.
Man deception hurts and forgiving and forgetting can be near impossible since you did nothing wrong but the other party isn't honest about everything or willing to grovel to make your hurt easier to bear...I hope I sort of got it.
Counselling is the only way to go. And 25 years of marriage is worth trying to save but you have to look at how this made you feel and If you can move on in the relationship.
Also she has to admit she is the one who did the wrong thing and she has to be truthful and remorseful of her actions. Because ATM she is justifying her actions as a blame on your part for how she felt in your relationship so instead of talking to you about it or trying to fix it she did this...
Don't beat yourself up here she is the one in the wrong...she has hurt you.
Good luck man...and remember trust is earned and so is forgiveness only you may never forget.
2006-08-30 12:09:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her your not the one that violated the marriage she did so for her to walk around with a attitude is absolute wrong how dare she if she needed someone to cuddle with she should had came to you like a woman and said lets put the nonsense to the side and lets work all this out and cuddled with her hubby not her boss she will be the talk of the office you need to get some space alone time so that you can rethink the problems and marriage to see if its worth staying or walking for good get some kind of peice of mind for yourself i wish you luck andbull crap nothing happened what man will trun down free pu**y
2006-08-30 11:59:13 · answer #6 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She cheated on you and you need to move on. Or you can find a yourger looking girl and get naked and "cuddle with her" all night. Then tell your wife and see how she feels about it.
2006-08-30 11:50:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey come on you are an adult . you must think like one.
now for a moment put yourself in her bosses place in his
bed .cuddling all night with your wife in his arms. now think about this. and are you leaft to believe he did not have sex with your wife. if you believe this , then honey you need some help and the kind you won't find on this site. like as in a shrink . sorry to sound so mean ., but let's get real here . either you don't want to believe she cheated or you are just dumb if you believe she didn't . think about what i have said and tell yourself which one is it you want to believe her or are you just dumb , to believe her ?
2006-08-30 12:04:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She still cheated on you.
I could hurt her for good if I was the husband and leave her..
But it do depends,,, how many children do you have..etc.. family relationship..etc... properties... etc..
But still she cheated on you...
It is unforgivable in my place..
She can have no right to your properties if you file charges against her..and based on her testimony that he slept with him..no sensible person will believe they did not have sex..... sleeping together naked????
Even then,,, she has totally no right to sleep with another man,,no matter what your problem is... until you are legally separated..
2006-08-30 12:04:03 · answer #9 · answered by yulnores 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup...sure. And the check is in the mail and I won't *** in your mouth....
What should you do? Try growing a backbone.
This didn't happen just by accident...there been lots going on behind the scenes that you aren't aware off....try starting with the truth about everything and then make a decision.
Good luck.
2006-08-30 11:57:55 · answer #10 · answered by Tony 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋