Would like a guys perspective here......?

Question

Hubby and I are having a discussion about a male friend that I have that I confide in. He says that for me to call him during a fight (between hubby and I) sends him (the male friend) a message saying I'm interested in him, when thats not what I mean at all.... I simply like his advice and he can give my a guys insight whereas a woman will only take my side most of the time. Guys, if you were the male friend, would you get that idea?? Ladies, do you think I should cut the male friend off??

Answer 1

I agree with hubby here, it would bug the hell out of me.

Answer 2

I think, there's nothing wrong with getting a "guy's perspective" from someone you trust; but, for one, if you have to do it - do it discreetly; no need for your husband to even know, it will drive a wedge between you two. Second - be careful taking your dirty laundry out of the house, don't be running to a 'friend" every time you guys have a fight. If it's something you genuinely can't figure out, then ask a friend; but try to resolve it between you two if at all possible. Third - there's rarely such a thing as a "friend" of an opposite sex; when one digs deeper, something more is almost always involved. It's not unreasonable of your husband to feel the way he does. Bottom line is - if it bothers him, don't do it! Certainly you can find a trusted and wise female friend to confide in; a real friend will tell you the truth even if it means not taking "your" side.

Answer 3

Think like a male here. Remember we dont think like females do and we have a tendancy to read more into it than whats really there. Being friends with this guy is ok but definitely quit letting him in on the family matters. Now if I were this guy Id begin to wonder why youre confiding in me such private matters and if you were looking for someone to lean on, for possible comfort when your husband has possibly hurt you, etc. You get the picture. Now here on Q & A, one can ask private questions with the aid of anonminity,no one knows who you are so you wont be found out. Just watch what you tell guys.

Answer 4

I'd look at it this way -- if he did the same with a female friend of his, wouldn't you have some concerns? I sure would. I wouldn't like that one bit. This doesn't necessarily mean you should cut off the male friend, but you should definitely reconsider the kind of information you divulge and the manner and timing in which you do that. Not only is it possible for your male friend to get the wrong idea, but you may also begin to develop certain feelings for your male friend which can seriously complicate things. I'd feel it's just not worth jeopardizing my marriage and especially not worth hurting my husband's feelings.

Answer 5

Somehow I don't think you would like it if he was crying on some woman's shoulder during arguements. Personally I don't think you should talk to others about your fights anyway. It does make others regardless of gender start to take sides and think less of your partner. If you have a strong relationship you should be able to discuss the issue after you have both cooled down. If not you have even more serious issues.

Answer 6

yea, sometimes men get the dumb idea that you actually have something for them if you run to them everytime you have a fight with your hubby.

leave the friend, thats all that can be said, i am sure that if your hubby had a female friend that he confided in you would not be too happy with that idea

Answer 7

I really do see where you're coming from but if my husband was bothered by it, yes, I would cut him out of the picture. Besides, if there's a problem with my husband then I should be going to him to resolve the issues I have with him. The "other" guy might just get the wrong idea.

Answer 8

my sister~ I dont know if you are christian, but biblically you are cleaved to your husband. There should be no male friends or female friends and most certainly not single ones. This person can easily become a wedge of disharmony in your marriage. You may think, its just talking...but remember, in the Bible, the serpent was "just talking" to Eve and he convinced her to take a bite. I encourage you to seek God's Word about your covenant in marriage. When you need to talk to someone, talk to God. Ask Him to make your husband receptive to whatever it is you are arguing about (or show you where you are wrong,amen?)...with Him no problem is insurmountable and His answer will always be one that keeps you together. My husband and I will lift you both in prayer...

God Bless you and keep you...

Answer 9

I don't think you should stop talking to your friend. You need to vent out. It doesn't matter if your friend is male or female. Before you know it, you won't be allowed to have, talk or see any friends for the rest of your life. Is that what you want?

Answer 10

Sounds to me you connected with a nerd. in line with probability in case you permit pass somewhat he will ask your self what's up and then pursue you. If he has a problematic time placing out up you have to be tactful in the thank you to help him. My lady chum and that i've got been jointly for tremendously much 3 years now and that i'm finally placing out to sense comfortable to communicate to her approximately particular issues. particularly if a adult adult males been harm in the previous, he will have that wall up till the subsequent female he's with proves herself worth adequate to come back in. in simple terms be certain he's not a WoW feind. I regrettably be responsive to too lots of people who're getting divorced over that rattling recreation.

Answer 11

Okay reverse the tables dear, IF he had a female friend and did the same thing to you how would you feel? It is amazing seeing the shoe on the other foot! Now how do you feel about it and be honest with yourself! I think you will have your answer.