my husband left in July i met an older man at the end of July the older gut is wonderful and supportive i found out he's married he doesnt know that i know he was put out about the same time my husband left my husband found out i was dating and now he wants to come home we have been together 8 years i was already hurt and now this really adds fuel to the fire i have a server fear of being by myself when i look at my husband now i have no feelings for him because we have been through to much but its comfortable i wish this new guy would not have lied because i was very honest with him and he is the most wonderful man i have ever met what should i do ?
2006-08-30 10:21:52 · 18 answers · asked by lisa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my sister~God can restore your marriage. I dont know if you are christian, but the Bible calls us to forgive each other. If he is repentful, accept that, forgive and both of you turn to the Lord to help you rebuild your marriage. The new person, is just a distraction the devil is throwing at you to keep you from reconciling. He is the master of "counterfeits", and a married man is most certainly that-something that looks good, but its not true. Dont fall for it. If you make Christ the foundation of your life and your marriage, you can do all things through Him and He can give you a marriage and a renewed love of your husband that surpasses anything you ever felt before for him or him for you.
Be encouraged...
God bless you and keep you...
2006-08-30 10:32:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget your husband! Whatever happened to dissolve your marriage in the first place, will happen again. You're on the rebound, and are very emotionally vulnerable - you have to realize that. It's normal to feel like you don't want to be by yourself. I felt the same way after my husband walked out on me. Anyone who has been in this situation will tell you that it's important to be able rely on your friends for help; you'll be surprised to find out how many people can relate to what you're going through, because they have had a similar experence some time in their past. It's impossible to forget such things. But time does cure, things get just a little better every day. You're in a dangerous situation with your new guy; sounds like you might have developed feelings for him, but you really need to think hard if you want such drama in your life right now. This can be explosive, and hurt you even more. You know he cannot be trusted, it's up tp you to decide whether to end it now, and try to heal your wounds. Good luck!
2006-08-30 10:43:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Based on what you write about your reaction to your former husband, I'd say leave him out of the picture.
As for you the older guy lying to you: that's no basis for starting a mutually sustaining relationship. There are some building blocks, if you will, that should NOT be ignored. Honesty - or the lack thereof - is one of them.
No matter how good you feel about the older guy, RUN in the other direction. There are other GOOD, honest men out there. You may not meet them when you want, but you WILL meet them.
Concentrate on your divorce and getting yourself on your own two feet. The rest will happen.
2006-08-30 10:29:16 · answer #3 · answered by cboni2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to go with you heart. If you do not love your husband anymore then get a divorce. You cannot stay with for fear of being alone or being too comfortable. In the long run you will be miserable and both of you will get hurt more. Leave the married man a lone until he leaves his wife. I would think twice before getting involved with him if he cheats on his wife, because he will do the same to you.
2006-08-30 10:26:52 · answer #4 · answered by housewives5 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say dump em both. IF neither one are willing to be honest with you why put urself through that hurt? 8 years is a long time and the only reason why he wants to come back is because he's jealous u found someone else to spend ur time with. I would confront the new guy ask him why he never told u he was married if he cant give u a straight answer leave him too! u deserve someone who will be totally honest with you! best of luck to u hun!
2006-08-30 10:26:42 · answer #5 · answered by JusMe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't care what you do with your husband, but DROP the married guy immediately....of course he is wonderful, AND he is a liar...you don't seriously think you are the first one he has stepped out on his wife with...he makes a career of this. HE IS NOT GOING TO LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR YOU no matter what. He likes the situation exactly as it is. AND, his wife may well know about you, one way or another...I am sure she has been through this before, and probably doesn't really care. But you are going to be a real loser here if you hang hopes on getting this guy...even if you did, you would no sooner be married to him and someone else would be the new "other woman." Don't be silly, this is everyday life,.....you are not the first, and in fact, this is about as common as dirt..yet woman just can't believe it is happening to them..they read about this their whole life, yet when it happens to them, they still cannot believe it. Get real. Good luck
2006-08-30 10:32:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-06 00:12:57 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get rid of the married man. He's a cheater. Maybe try couciling with your hubby to try and spark the flame for eachother again. Its helped alot of couples. It's worth trying to save your marriage instead of breaking one up. Especially now that you know he's married, you will be considered the other woman. Do you really want that? You know he's a liar and a cheat. I can only imagine how many other woman he lied to and hurt. Your better than that... move on with your hubby or with yourself. Sometimes it's better to be alone for a while and find yourself. Good Luck
2006-08-30 10:31:27 · answer #8 · answered by CLM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are entitled to be happy. You have to honestly ask yourself which one of these men are going to make you happy. Can you get honesty from the new guy? If you arent feeling your husband anymore, then thats an easy answer....he's out.
2006-08-30 10:28:36 · answer #9 · answered by boomerang3que 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget the married man ,it will be very difficult to make it work with your husband if he cat forgive you for the other man,you ntwo need counseling,but if you dont love him dont take him back.
2006-08-30 10:25:26 · answer #10 · answered by nanny2 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋