You know say if they are in prison or trapped on a desert island. I mean if your really hard up and there are no women around can two guys exchange oral sex , no kissing and hugging just knob jobs. Are those guys now officially gay or Bi? If someone has sex with there own type ONLY when there are no other alternatives does that make him gay or just really horny? What if instead of a desert island they are stuck in a sexless marriage? Is it less cheating to masturbate with your buddys mouth then to go out and get a girlfriend? I really need to know the right answer cause I've had an offer and it's been so long since I bagged my wife I am seriously considering giving head to get head.
2006-08-30 10:06:44 · 72 answers · asked by lonelymarriedguyinbeaumont 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
There are different levels of of Bi men, I'm not going to go into this too deep but there is the Bi who will seek a guy only when he is not getting it from a female and that type of person seems to hate them self after the act is done and they drop the male as soon as he has a female. There are the Bi males who can do both and be OK with that. And there are the Bi men who wish they listen to their hearts when they where younger and went Gay.
I hope that list helps
2006-08-31 10:04:51 · answer #1 · answered by Super 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For a desperate BJ? I don't know. The terminology of "straight" or "gay" doesn't fit as well as "bi curious". But only you know what you're thinking and what your real motivations are.
Anecdotally, it's common for guys to have sex with each other in prison because there are no other options. Also, it's common for "straight" guys to have had sexual encounters with boys when they were very young. This seems to prove that it's possible for an otherwise straight guy to have "sex" with another man. If "gay" means the "lifestyle" or "preference", then the answer would be "yes, you can possibly have sex with a man and still not be gay".
You aren't in prison though. In your case maybe you're kind of bi, or bi curious.
No problem being gay or bi if that's what you are, but what about your wife? If it's getting to where you want to get blowjobs from your buddy's, maybe it's time to have a talk. Having affairs will create really complicated problems in your life, and eventually catch up with you and get people hurt.
Then again, chances are she'd be into the idea of having a 3-way. You probably wouldn't want to do that with a close friend though.
2006-08-31 13:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by Jon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The act would be a gay act. The persons involved needn't be. People don't seem to want to realise that being gay is not a symptom of performing same sex acts. Rather it is a state of being. I'm Bi, not because I have sex with men and women, but because I fancy men and women. I find them attractive and I can form emotional bonds with the right person (male or female). The sex is an expression of that attraction or love.
Like others have said however, were it just you were horny and totally straight, you might look for another woman to scratch your itch. The fact that this didn't figure in your blurb would suggest you're not as straight as the straightest straight guy.
Before you proceed with any dalliance - consider that it is adultery and that you will be affected by having been with another guy (excited or sickened). Will you be able to live with yourself if you do take the bloke up on this offer?
Contact Randy W, having checked out the website he suggested. He may be able to give you some perspective.
Take it easy.
2006-08-30 14:01:47 · answer #3 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello!! :o) I'm sorry to hear that you're so lonely. I appreciate what you're asking. But we each have to decide for ourselves what is 'right' because whenever we choose to do something - we have to live with the consequences. That said - any sexual contact with someone other than our spouse would be considered an act of adultery. And it doesn't matter if the 'other person' is a guy or a girl. It also wouldn't make it 'less cheating' if you were with a guy. I appreciate your attempt to justify exchanging BJ's with some guy - but the truth is - you're NOT in a prison or on a desert island. You're a lonely, horny, married guy. Have you and your wife tried counseling? Have you talked to your wife about how you feel? [Not about the offer to be with a guy - but the fact that you are lonely and would like to have more sex] You should know that once you cross the line and have a sexual encounter with someone other than your wife - there is no turning back. You can never undue what you have done. You will always be the guy who had sex outside of his marriage. Think very carefully about this. Especially about the consequences. As for whether or not exchanging BJ's with some guy makes you gay - well - I don't think that's neccessarily true. Sexual orientation is an emotional thing - not a physical thing. [In spite of what some of my fellow gay 'brothers and sisters' think] And I say this because many males have had - at one time in their life - SOME sort of sexual contact with another guy. And most of them are not gay. Take care of yourself and focus your attention on trying to improve the relationship you have with your wife. Craig!! :o)
2006-08-30 10:40:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you have a lot of questions and you are searching for a yes or no answer. Try thinking less of categories (gay v. not gay) and more of it being on a continuum (ranging from having no feelings about the same sex to having feelings only for individuals of the same sex).
Cheating is cheating. If you are engaging in a relationship outside of your marriage, it is cheating (this is coming from a woman who is married ... it's my own opinion ... take it at face value). You know your wife better than anyone. If you know that she would be upset if she found out, then you know that you are cheating. Does it make it better when it's a guy? Most likely not at all ... it might even feel worse for her if she found out.
And, since you are posing this question, I doubt that you are on a desert island :) And if you WERE on a desert island, your wife would probably feel romanced and give it up anyways.
2006-08-30 10:15:11 · answer #5 · answered by gz_1st_lady 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You probably wouldn't even consider giving head to get head if you didn't have at least "some" homoerotic feelings. I think it is wonderful that you can honestly consider the offer without the automatic knee-jerk response of "Hell NO!" that most people would do even if they would secretly like to do it. So to answer your question I think it makes you Bi if you are with both sexes.
BUT, even if you are with a man, it would still be cheating on your wife. I know it's difficult, but you really REALLY need to decide what you want out of life. If you decide you want to stay married to your wife then you need to try and work things out with her. If not, then you should get a divorce. It you end up a single man again, I'd say feel free to accept any offers you get to give head-to get head if that's what you want to do.
By the way.. don't listen to these jerks that are saying you are sick. Some people need to realize that sexuality is more then what you learned in Sunday school.
2006-08-30 10:27:01 · answer #6 · answered by hotdancingmoma 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would have to say that having sex with a man under any circumstances would make you at least a little bit bi. Being bisexual covers an incredibly broad range of desires and behavior. Anyone who ever has an attraction to individuals of both sexes is technically bi, whether it's a one-time fantasy or if they have multiple partners of both sexes daily.
I think it is cheating whether you use a man or a woman to get off, even if you were in prison. I can't see any difference between the two situations. You might want to get your wife's opinion.
2006-08-30 10:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by Kuji 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Want to find out if your gay then go ahead and do it. Once you guys blow each other you'll know for sure. If you never talk to each other or get in a fist fight you'll know your not gay in fact your homophobes. If you guys end up living together and start a flower boutique then guess what? You were gay all along. Chance are you are both somewhere in-between or you wouldnt even be thinking of it
2006-08-31 08:12:28 · answer #8 · answered by der_grosse_e 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, do not cheat on your wife. That would only be a disaster. Second, no you are not always gay, if you have sex oral or anal with another, it is what you feel inside, you should know if you are gay or bi, you don't just become gay or bi by having oral sex. Tell your wife what you need, or a psychiatrist, or a divorce if you are unhappy, never cheating. That is not the solution.
2006-08-30 10:11:47 · answer #9 · answered by Starcraft 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think, what makes you gay or bi-sexual is not whether or not you have sex with another man, but how you feel about that man specifically and men in particular.. Are you romantically attracted to him, do you desire him, have you developed intimate feeling for him?
You are cheating because rather than dealing with the real issue (a sexsless marriage and a sexually frustrated husband), you try to find a quick fix. You need a long term solution and every short term solution would be cheating on yourself, your wife and life. And you do not need that.
If I were you, I would talk to my wife about what I am going through and ask her help to find more constructive ways to satisfy you both and make an agreement.
If she can not help you, ask her permission to go and have sex with other men or women. As long as she knows about it and oks it, there should not be any problem since you are both adults...
2006-08-30 10:30:28 · answer #10 · answered by tabularasa73 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋