Ok, so, over the summer, i went to California for a wedding. I met this awesome guy at the wedding, and we danced and talked all night. We meshed very well together, and both felt very affected by the whole experience. He is a relative on the groom's side, and I am a relative of the bride's side.
Since then, we planned for him to visit me in New York, to attend a different wedding with me. We figured we could find out if there is as much chemistry as we had thought. He's coming here for a week.
We haven't seen eachother for two months since that night, and I recently met someone--the brother of a friend of mine who I am completely head over heels for. We have fallen like little kids for eachother, and there is definitely hope for a long term effort between us...
So, the guy I'm falling for will be away when the wedding guy comes to stay. What do I say to each of them? I'm scared that the guy I'm falling for would be bothered by this other guy being here. but tickets are bought.
2006-08-30 09:24:33 · 20 answers · asked by smarty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Man, some of you are harsh.... I am not committed to either, and I plan to tell them both....just wondered about how to handle it.... I haven't lied to, cheated on, or even become physically intmate with either of them!! Thanks for all the input though!! It helps me think it thorugh.
2006-08-30 09:57:35 · update #1
I have been in those shoes, and it isn't easy. Of course the long distance relationship has little chance of working. You really need to let both guys know, and don't let them push you. This is your time to discover. You haven't known either one very long so it's not like you are close to getting married. Just be open and honest,let them know how you feel about each of them, and time will tell if either one of them is right for you.
2006-08-30 09:39:22 · answer #1 · answered by silver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not commited to any of them, so I don't feel you did anything wrong, until there are titles (boyfriend/girlfriend), then there really isn't an agreement of exclusivity.
I'm am a bit weary that you tend to fall head over heals quite easily.
The reality is this, one guy is no in the area, unless you're looking to move to be with someone or have a long distance relationship, I really don't see pursuing anything with this person. However, you seem to be the type who's in love with falling in love so you follow your heart.
The guy that you are head over heels for now, looks like the more logical choice, he's local and it would be easier to see if something special could be established. Have fun, you're not in a relationship...yet, just try not to hurt anyone, or get hurt in the process.
2006-08-30 10:06:51 · answer #2 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre expecting more to happen already than might actually. What I see is a young lady being escorted to a wedding by a friend, and is seeing another friend. This doesnt mean something is going to happen and if it does, it does. Who you have more feelings for should matter most, but if your b/f is out of town then all youre doing is going to a wedding with a friend.Whatever is meant to be will happen. So right now neither really needs to know about the other until you make a committment to one of them. No use starting trouble before you need it.
2006-08-30 09:34:50 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heck, you GOTTA have the guy come see you, cuz he already bought tickets. Just because you have met somebody new, is no reason to stop seeing another guy. Does your new guy believe you two are in an exclusive relationship? I don't suppose that you've mentioned this other guy visiting? Or, do you plan to keep it your little secret? A person who is dishonest in relationships, usually ends up be treated dishonestly. And, when that happens, the dishonest person always whines about how rotten people treat them. Lady, what goes around, comes around. You know what the right thing to do is, but you choose to be a cheat and a liar. Good luck, you will need it.
2006-08-30 09:48:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have done nothing wrong, so you have nothing to hide. You need to tell the guy you have fallen for about the wedding guy, and explain to the wedding guy what has happened since you saw each other last. Let him decide if he still wants to come to NY. Maybe offer to help him pay whatever penalty he incurs by canceling his flight (if he decides to cancel). After 2 divorces and now a GREAT 3rd marriage, I have learned that honesty is one of the most important qualities in ANY relationship.
2006-08-30 09:38:25 · answer #5 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not committed to either man, but you need to let them know that you are at least seeing another person. You could lose both of them if they find out later. Any new relationship is like being on cloud nine, you ignore all the bad and only see the good, you only show your good side and none of your annoying habits. I say have fun with both of them until you decide that you want to commit to one or the other. But please be honest with them.
2006-08-30 09:31:25 · answer #6 · answered by middle aged and love it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask don't tell, the new guy is the guy, unless you plan on moving to meet up with the long distance relationship, which doesn't seem likely. Don't give any indication of sex unless you tell him about your new guy and its only a one night thing. And don't tell the new guy anything at all.
2006-08-30 10:14:05 · answer #7 · answered by Ask the Chef 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be true to your new man. Protect that relationship and do your best to make it work. If I were in your shoes, I cancel the visit from the wedding guy.
Even non-refundable tickets can be refunded if you pay a cancellation fee.
2006-08-30 09:31:49 · answer #8 · answered by Otis F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with both. As for the California guy, long distance relationship is an oxymoron.
2006-08-30 10:02:31 · answer #9 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to bo honest with them..They may be just men to you but they deserve honesty too, if you expect them to be honest with you you have to return it..Tell them and then you need to follow your heart from then out. Could you really do a long distance relationship or would you rather a local one? You need to sit and think things through and be honest with yourself and both men.
2006-08-30 09:48:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋