Can a friend date his friend's ex; of eight years ago? I was hanging out with friends this past weekend, and my friend ask my mutual friend if it was acceptable to him, to date his ex. All three of us are good friends, and they didn't have a problem with it. In fact later on that night, my friend and my friend's ex; spent the night together and cuddle, among other things(So I was told for clarity). Is there a downside to this?
2006-08-30 09:10:11 · 17 answers · asked by Swordfish 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I must add that both are really good friends and basically had nothing negative to say about each other. In fact, the breakup lead them to be better friends.
2006-08-30 09:19:52 · update #1
All I know is from personal experience.
My partner was my friend's ex before we "hooked-up."
My friend had dumped my "now" partner after only a couple of short months of dating. My "friend" had done the stereotypcial "second date" thing and moved quite a bit of her stuff over to her "ex's" place.
She had also insisted I be friends with her girlfriend. Supposedly her reasoning was that if we were friends I should at least get along with whomever she was dating. Sounded perfectly logical.
Well after their really bad break-up, (which btw was my "friend's" fault...and she knew it) I was still friends with her "ex."
What was I supposed to do? My "friend" had forced this person into my life, I couldn't very well just dump her as a friend when she wasn't the one at fault for their break-up.
Many months went by and my "friend" had moved on. Or so I thought.
I wasn't really interested in her "ex," so it wasn't planned at all. But her "ex" and I started seeing each other romantically.
My "friend" went balistic! She tried outting me a work, tried outting me to my parents (which would have been no huge feat since I was actually already out to them), she brought back CD's we had traded back and forth, etc, etc, etc.
Needless to say, we never spoke again...
But the upside is her "ex" has been my partner for over nine years.
We later found out that my "friend" actually went back to dating guys. We always had our doubts about her lesbianism anyway. I had always had a feeling she was just a "tourist." My instincts were right.
2006-08-30 09:24:16 · answer #1 · answered by DEATH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-06 00:30:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This actually happened with my current boyfriend and ex. We are all very good friends and hang out very often. I actually live with my ex, because he is also my best friend. Well my current boyfriend asked him if he would mind of a good friend ever dated me and my ex said no, not at all. Well recently my boyfriend and I have gotten together and my ex is acting strange kinda. He is asking for more attention and it's just odd. I am not sure if he is jealous or just assuring that him and I will always be best friends and my boyfriend won't get in the way. We are all good friends as I said so it should be easy to talk to him. Just make sure your exes response is certain and go over all the potential problems.
2006-08-31 06:32:01 · answer #3 · answered by zeppmoondreamer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say If neither one of them have a problem with it...then yes, it's ok. However if your friend is really hurt by you dating his ex then maybe you should re-evaluate the situation. Which means more to you, the date or the friend? If they broke up eight years ago, then it should be ok...plus it sounds like they are fine with each other.
Just make sure you have put it all on the table so there are no questions or surprises.
CYA - live by it!
2006-08-30 09:28:14 · answer #4 · answered by The Tiki God 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No problem...ask your friend..if he says , "go for it," he means it. Guys rarely lie about this kind of stuff, and if they are still friends, both would want the other to be happy. No problem what so ever. Good luck 8 years is a very long time ago.
2006-08-30 09:24:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It fairly relies upon on how lots you value that fellowship. in case you never decide for to talk to her back and don't suggestions her speaking (genuine) trash to all your mutual buddies, then decide for it. in case you value her as a chum then do no longer answer to any extent further of his calls. She's hurting and you're digging the knife in deeper. Boys come and circulate yet friendships and reputations final. perhaps it grow to be her fault that he broke up together with her, yet you do no longer ought to rub it in her face. perhaps he's the main well-liked guy you have had a possibility with so far and you do no longer decide for to pass over the prospect, yet what occurs after he dumps you or you sell off him? Will you have any buddies left to instruct to while its over and you're hurting? I propose, i'm able to circulate the two way in this one. i've got seen buddies try this and comprehend it grow to be a huge mistake and unfastened buddies completely, yet i've got additionally seen in simple terms as quickly as, one woman swear to never date her maximum suitable chum's ex while they broke up, and then wait one month and do it besides. She and the main suitable chum no longer communicate yet she and the ex in simple terms have been given married 2 months in the past. So in her case it worked out, yet then she grow to be already 25. Its as much as you, in simple terms attempt to think of long term and attempt to no longer be blinded by utilising day targets.
2016-10-01 02:32:22 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've done it and friends have done it. since you're not a lezbo, they're probably not BEST friends, living together to spare the dogs of joint custody, so go for it. 8 years? TOTALLY. as long as it's officially over and you never had to console your friend after a beating or nurse him back to health after having acid switched with his facial moisturizer. that cuddling thing? i'd question that as a group all 3 present and accounted for so there's no secrets.
2006-08-30 09:21:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The details in your question/answer are helpful enough to figure out that in this case that shouldnt be a problem. Each case and each relationship is different...
2006-08-30 11:05:51 · answer #8 · answered by mmm777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a no go.. you never date a friend's ex because in most cases you'll lose a friend or risk losing a friend.I've actually been in this sitation.. everyone got mad.. and friendships almost ended.they amy say they're ok with it.. but when it happens.. they get jealous and mad.
2006-08-30 09:14:35 · answer #9 · answered by hating and being mean is a sin 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the friend I guess and how painful the breakup.
2006-08-30 09:15:19 · answer #10 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋