after 19 yrs of marriage i fell out of love with husband, trying to get on with my life emotionally just wanting to find love again,,am i wrong tho to still live in the same house with ground rules..and eventually move out after it has calmed down.
2006-08-30 08:56:17 · 21 answers · asked by candleburner63065 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, it's wrong. Be married, or divorced. Some in-between state is silly. How do you expect "to find love again" when you are married, and living with you hubby and child? If you don't want to be married, move, and file for divorce. You aren't doing your son any favor staying. Divorce is tough on kids, but this in-between status is MORE confusing for a kid.
2006-08-30 09:28:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with that. After 19yrs, it's not like you each have a house to retreat to. It takes time, and it's also stressful. You're both sacraficing for your son, which is great, just don't let tensions between you and your husband, destroy the household.
However, people do have to move on, it's not like you can date or meet new people while you still live with your husband (nor can he). You don't have to live in different places tomorrow, but just make sure that things are in the works. Sustaining this living situation will only add tension.
2006-08-30 10:11:48 · answer #2 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what u felt for him wasnt love it was lust u never fall out of love..
too bad after 19 years of marriage this happens..
u didnt do wrong u just were honest and told him how u really felt,thats better than just living a lie...
most caring parents would stay in a relationship and dont separate from each other for the chldren´s sake..
but the thing is that eventually ur son will grow up and leave the house to build his life...and when he grows up he´ll understand!
just think before actually leaving the house coz u dont wanna do anything ull regret...if u think that with leaving ur husband ull have a better and happier life then go for it...
good luck!
2006-08-30 09:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by Sus-Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you aren't doing your son any good. Kids learn what love and marriages and relationships should be by watching their parents...you are teaching him to live some screwed up fantasy. Not to mention you have assigned your child a job, kids shouldn't have jobs. Imagine the guilt your child will feel when he figures out (and he will) that his parents, the people he loves most in the world, lived in an unhappy situation and claimed it was all for him. What a horrible feeling that would be! If these things aren't what you want to do to him then move out and start living life. If you want your son to find happiness show him how.
2006-08-30 09:08:10 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How exactly did you "fall out of love" with your husband? You don't care about him one little bit now? Or did you really mean that you "fell out of infatuation?"
What concerns me is that it sounds like your using your son as an excuse to stay married, with all the comforts that offers, and not feel bad about having affairs and relationships with other people. If you're going to stay married for the sake of your son, then stay married! Be a faithful married person, who's committed to regaining that sense of love for your spouse.
If your not willing to do that, then stop messing with the hearts and emotions of your husband and son, and get a divorce, and move out, and leave them both in peace.
2006-08-30 09:30:52 · answer #5 · answered by daisyk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband fell out of love with me and we did the same thing. Only after 3 short months he couldn't get enough of me. Seems that seeing me every day and not being able to touch me was to much for him. Did wonders for our marriage. That was 8 years ago, we've been married 11 years.
2006-08-30 09:10:48 · answer #6 · answered by lilmama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the relationship is over, you should move out and move on. Children pick up emotional vibes very easily, and to stay for your son's sake is doing more harm than good. Unless your son is very young, he will probably understand better than you give him credit for. He has probably already sensed something is off as things like this don't just happen overnight.
2006-08-30 09:04:34 · answer #7 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're not wrong to still live in the house, but it's uncomfortable and does put a hindrance on finding love again - i lived with my ex for 6 months and men i dated did not want to come to my house - so i ended up meeting them and feleing like i was cheating & it was a bit awkward - i am now living on my own & even my kids like it better, because even young kids can sense tension between 2 parents that don't love each other.
2006-08-30 09:15:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know you care about your son that fine but living same house to that person and you don't care about your husband??? and sad part is that he freaking not happy to be living with you anymore and you stopped loving your husband.
I don't think it fair for him and your son... You son don't know what going on or he does.....You had to stay there not because your son because your money that you don't have enough to live on your own so you stay there.. You looking for rebound when man comes along and you will jump in his life with your son... Wow, good planning....
You know you have very cold heart! plain and Simple. also you knew you won't be happy before you got married or after you got married and you knew that you will not be happy down the road. But you ingore your feelings.... so, wow, very damn Cold Heart. reason I said that???? did you talk to him about your feelings? did you listen to his feelings and your son too? Did you even try to go to councleing??? did you even try to go group meeting??? did you even try to make it better or try to do something about it?? did you even try anything?? If you question is no then there you go. that reason I called you that if you did one or less then same thing. 19 years you have all those years to fix the plm.... but didn't..
I fixed my and my wife too and glad we not like you waiting for 19 years and then tell him I don't have love for you anymore. whoa!
2006-08-30 09:34:04 · answer #9 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i don't feel you are wrong. My sister is doing the same thing after 25 years of marriage. She just wants to have a good relationship for the kids sake and they have come to an agreement.
2006-08-30 09:22:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋