i read all the answers on my previous question , and i found that i have to tell more about my husband.. he is my second spouse , and he is in deep love with me..but.. we were married without his parents' acceptance coz of my situation as divorced..and we are living away from them.. that's why sometimes i feel jealous from his mother or sisters when he goes out with them and leave me alone. give me your advice how can i don't feel like that and how can i repair the relation between me and his family.
2006-08-30 08:44:04 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If there is no question he is deeply in love iwth you then what is the prob? Do you want to make him cut all ties from his family? Do you want to go with him and spend an uncomfortable evening with people who don't respect you? Do you have to like everyone he likes and vice versa?
How do you deal when he goes out with friends without you or to work without you? Also, you did not say how often this happens. Weekly may be too much as a lot of time is spent away from each other with work and other responsibilities. Monthly or a few times a year for special events is no big.
Also, is he really choosing them over you? Did you have plans together that he cancelled or were you just going to do the same old, same old?
Yes, I know you are entitled to your own feelings, and it is difficult to control them and impossible to dismiss them. However, I think you need to work on you and not him. Try the book "Boundaries. Where you end and I begin." Find an interest and something to do when he leaves you all alone.
2006-08-30 08:57:38 · answer #1 · answered by Jill M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my sister~ his love is a good foundation. You must bridge his love and yours with an understanding of what God wants for your marriage. My husband should not/does not place anyone before me and neither do I put anyone before him. This is not an issue of you repairing the relationship with his family. It would be nice, but he is biblically called to put you first, in all things. He should not be leaving you at home. The fact that he is your second husband is not the issue, you are his First Ministry Amen? I encourage you both to get to know the Lord and His desire for you in marriage. Once you do, you will find a happiness together beyond anything you ever dreamed. Be encouraged...
God Bless you and keep you...
2006-08-30 15:53:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is to be the best wife and mother you can. That's it. If they don't accept it, you just have to keep on being who you are.
Part of the problem is your husband. He is the one who needs to deal with his family. He should tell them that you are number one in his life and that if you are not welcome around them, then he'll assume that he isn't welcome either. He need to do it soon and not leave you to figure out how to win them over.
Also, the next time you are with his family, you might try saying something like "I really love
2006-08-30 15:53:31 · answer #3 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not up to you to repair the relationship between yourself and his family, it is up to HIM. He needs to let his family know that the two of you are a package deal. He should not leave you behind while he goes out with them. He chose to marry you knowing how they felt, so now he needs to deal with the consequences of his choice. If they refuse to have you along, HE should not go either. He needs to let his family know he loves them, but as his wife, YOU have to come first.
2006-08-30 15:57:51 · answer #4 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may never be able to. It is sad, but true. My husband's family has never accepted me or our children and I was never married before him and the kids are his! They just hate me because I am American. You need to tell him how this makes you feel. Luckily my in laws are 11000 miles away, but my husband has always put me before them. Your husband needs to tell his family that you are his wife and therefore his number one priority, they can either accept you or not be a part of his life, IF he is willing to do that. Mine did.
2006-08-30 15:49:36 · answer #5 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your feelings, however if they bother you that much than I suggest that you try to get along with them. You and your husband should have a conversation with his family and how you guys can make things better. It's not going to be easy but hopefully with time things will get better. What do you got to lose?? Do it for your Husband and for your own sense of well-being and pride. Good Luck!!!
2006-08-30 15:53:40 · answer #6 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with them all. Tell them that it is hurting your feelings. Tell them you love your husband very much and you want to be a part of all their lives. If you are his wife they should respect that. Tell your husband to talk to his family and let them know if they want to see him they have to accept you. It is his place to do so.
2006-08-30 15:52:56 · answer #7 · answered by jess1ferrel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have no kids you should be anyway don't worry to much over his family he is with you u r his wife an he went ahead an married you without there consent that alone should tell you something x
2006-08-30 15:51:49 · answer #8 · answered by cuddlybunnyjean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take care of his "unit", make it the #1 priority. Show him the minute he walks in the door he will not want for anything.
2006-08-30 15:58:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he married you and you are number 1 you need to let him know how you are feeling.
2006-08-30 15:47:44 · answer #10 · answered by nanny2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋