Me and my husband have been together for 4 years and we have a baby boy together who is eight months. I love him but im just not in love with him. Is it worth it to stay with him since we have a kid???
2006-08-30 08:36:38 · 21 answers · asked by SamsMomma 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not time to give up. It's time to get to work.
Restart the relationship. Go on dates. Talk about what you want. Smooch. Take walks. Work on your friendship. Romance each other. Seduce him all over again. Take turns planning outings. If you bring it to his attention, he'll almost certainly want to work with you.
See a marriage counselor if there are issues of contention between you.
Your son needs a stable family to grow up in. Give it a shot, please.
2006-08-30 08:40:52 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I feel staying together for the children's sake is not always doing the child a favor. However, having separated parents is not easy on a child either.
I don't know the details, but my take is that you must have been in love with him when you got pregnant. Give it some time. If you still love him. Pregnancy and a new child change relationship dynamics and no matter what a blessing babies are, stress is still created with this life change. It may still be the stress of the change or hormones from pregnancy, etc. I am not saying to stay until you hate him and cannot get along amicably after a divorce even for your son's sake.
Take a couple deep breaths and a step back until you decide. This is a big decision and one only you can make. Did you discuss with hubby your feelings? Maybe you could work together on getting back that loving feeling.
2006-08-30 15:45:46 · answer #2 · answered by Jill M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first wife asked me for a divorce after 13 years and two children. She said the same thing, she loved me but was no longer in love with me. It was hard on the kids being ages 11 and 6 at the time. If you can keep a positive, friendly relationship with your soon to be ex then your child will grow up very happy and still have two loving parents. If you stay with him, there will always be tension within the house and your child will pick up on this immediately. You do owe your husband a very honest and detailed explanation. Especially if he has no idea it's coming. I know this because I was hit with it out of the blue. I should have seen the signs but I wasn't looking. He may not be either so do the best you can and realize that if this is truly how you feel you are doing what is best in the end for all of you and not just your Son. I wish you, your husand and your child all the best of luck.
2006-08-30 17:56:42 · answer #3 · answered by Ekimo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, all kids need a two parent household. Don't listen to those bleeding hearts that say 'you must not stay together for the kids.' Because that is just a load of crap! It is very hard to stay together after so many years, and it does not get any easier. You just have to deal with it for 18 more years.
The only reason to get a divorce after you have kids is if your relationship is creating a negative environment for your kids. That is why so many parents try so hard to tell their kids DO NOT GET PREGNANT UNTIL YOU ARE READY!
2006-08-30 15:46:03 · answer #4 · answered by barter256 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate when people use that "I love him, but not in love with him" line. If you love him then you can be in love with him if you put yourself in a position to be. You married him for a reason and you were in love with him at some point and you can get there again. Marriage isn't easy and no one said you were both going to be madly in love with eachother 24/7 for the rest of your marriage. Keeping the "in love" feeling and the passion takes work. You can be in love with someone and it doesn't have to be all the bells and whistles that you think it has to be.
I think you should work this out and stay with your husband. Don't be another statistic. If you really want to, you can make this work. If there is something wrong that you can't fix, then get into marriage counseling and start working on fixing it. Best of luck to you.
2006-08-30 15:42:53 · answer #5 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's never a good idea to stay together because of a child. It's not fair to you or you husband, and especially not your son. Would you want him to grow up with two parents who don't love each other and are unhappy? Kids pick up on these kinds of things.
2006-08-31 09:14:58 · answer #6 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't to that to the baby, you, or him. You can always raise this baby with love from both parents without the parents having to suffer for it. Talk to your husband. Hopefully, he'll be able to deal with what you have to say and he'll let you walk away without drama. If you're not happy, you can't make the people around you happy. Keep that with you. Good Luck!
2006-08-30 15:47:18 · answer #7 · answered by dct1218 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personal Experience with this. Get out before your child starts to realize that there is a problem. Don't let your child grow up in a stress full household. It is much better to have 2 happy homes than 1 miserable home.
2006-08-30 15:41:30 · answer #8 · answered by Nicole W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get marriage counseling and see if this helps. But if it doesn't, then honey, don't stay with this man. If you're not in love with him any more then you'll just end up arguing and fighting and you wouldn't want your child to have to go through that. Your child will grow up one day and you don't want this child to grow up thinking that being in love isn't a necessity for marriage, because it IS, it DEFINITELY IS...But yes, try marriage counseling and if that doesn't seem to help, then don't stay with this man.
2006-08-30 15:40:29 · answer #9 · answered by Kiara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, its not.
If you want to be happy then you need to move on. Trust me living in a loveless relationship just for the kids sake is only going to hurt the kids. They can pick up on these things.
2006-08-30 15:42:02 · answer #10 · answered by bree30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋