Question for the Ladies?

Question

Ladies, serious question and I would appreciate the truth, what you would actually do not what you think you will do, big difference. Would you take advantage of a guy or lead him on if you can get gifts, free dinner or attention from a guy. I'm not calling women gold diggers but sometimes women are lonely and even if they know they will never be with a guy, the attention and yes the gifts are appreciate. So how will you handle such situations. Truthfully please.

a lot of you mention the material stuff but how about the attention?

Answer 1

Absolutley not! Material crap is not important to me. Playing games is juvenile.

Answer 2

What kind of gifts???? Just kidding. Although we women do like to get gifts, no matter what they say, leading men on is not one of our specialties, we leave all that kind of stuff up to you males. No offense, but you guys are better at it. I have had guys buy me stuff before that I wouldnt accept, it was nice and expensive, but I am not for sale and cannot be bought with a piece of jewelry. Car, maybe. No, seriously, I think most women feel the same way. We work too hard nowdays to be taken for granted or to have some man whip out his Visa so we will go out with him again. Please baby, we have our own Visa. We dont need your money, we have our own. Women arent in the position today that they were years ago, when the only thing expected of you was to get married, have kids and know how to make a mean meatloaf. We have careers, high paying careers. If theres anything to be bought, we will buy it. On the other hand, a genuine complement goes a long way. Just being NICE means a lot to us. Hold the dam door open for gods sake. Stuff like that will get you men farther than all the money you could ever make.

Answer 3

Hi,

I do not want the gifts. I want to be with the guy for passion only. I have never been given gifts. I sure would love to go shopping on my own any day of the week but do not want to be manipulated by a man's "gifts" see.

I feel no passion for my husband and never have. I am obsessed with passion/intimacy and wish this feeling would leave. And yes so many of us out here are lonely.

Unhappiness is on the rise in the US i saw the findings in a report on Monday. sorry to bring you down.

Answer 4

I was too weak not to do that before, and it happened ot me ONCE, but it was so awful that I now have the resolve never to let it happen again. I say 'let it' happen becuase we become passive in such relationships (if thats what you want to call them)
Never in a lifetime would I sell my self, my time, my company, for things... it was such an insult to me, myself, that a guy could actually think of a woman in such a way- ie, that she can be bought or thought of as arm jewelry. I was so offended, it basically "insulted me straight". It showed me the folly of both my action, no matter how neglected I was feeling, and his.
How I woudl handle it now? Well, I dont get approached anymore, probably related to that. I am closed off to such advances and thus they never happen. I am not prey to it, so perhaps men see it, and such situations no longer arise. So that's how I've handled it- I realized it was nonsense, and my persona 'says' it and takes care of it for me.

Answer 5

I cannot resist positive attention, I don't need gifts, I would politely accept gifts but they honestly would have no bearing on how I treat someone or feel about them.
If you are so used to material things and prefer emotional things, gifts just don't hit the spot like attention does. I prefer to be shown that I am appreciated than to feel like I am so hard to love that giving me a gift is suppose to compensate for the lack of love.

Answer 6

I have found that honesty is always the best policy.

Many men feel that if they are buying a girl things that means they are also buying the right to have sex.

Admit it guys; many of you are just trying to dazzle a girl so you can get her into bed.

Even if you have no intention of having any kind of lasting relationship with a woman you are just trying to buy the sex from her.

Unfortunately, a lot of women just enjoy the attention they are getting and don't think of the price they are expected to pay or think that having a generous man buy them things and they give the man the sex he wants that that makes for a promising and lasting relationship that will result in marriage.

Not always the case.

A lot of men just want to have something temporary for a while until they get bored and want to go on to greener pastures.

For myself, I have been fortunate in that if I know a man is not the right one for me after a date or two AND HAVE LET HIM KNOW THIS WITHOUT LEADING HIM ON; they have often wanted to continue to go out with me because they enjoy having someone honest to talk with and to go out with when they are lonely.

I have, of course, offered to pay my own way or if I can't afford whatever the planned event is I will tell them up front.

That isn't an issue for a lot of men so long as you are honest. They wouldn't have invited you in the first place if they didn't feel able to provide for you too.

Yes, I know they would still like to get into bed with me but they appreciate my honesty and often continue going out with me so that they can sharpen their dating skills with someone they are comfortable with, know I won't be demanding of their time or money and will return their investment with an investment of friendship, counsel, and being a pretty lady on their arm to help them be more attractive to other ladies out there.

The other benefit for the men is that they develop a reputation for being someone who is trustworthy, respectful, honorable, a good provider and that friendship is as important in a relationship as good sex.

Not to mention having a woman who will tell other women good things about him.

Answer 7

I would not be able to stomach being w/ a guy I wasn't truly into, just to get gifts or attention. Not because it goes against any type of morals I may have for myself, but because if he wasn't exactly MY idea of hot, then no amount of gifts would make it worth it. (and I would go so far as to say that a really hot guy wouldn't have to bear any gifts) And as far as attention goes, women get all kinds of attention as it is, from guys. so much so, it isn't appreciated and is considered unwanted.

Answer 8

in no way am i a gold digger at all in fact i am just the opposite.. if a man asks me to dinner and i find that the this is not going anywhere... i will offer to pay for my portion of the meal.. and call it an evening.. there is also times when i am in a serious relationship that i will want to surprise my guy and buy him dinner......

Answer 9

Nope. I prefer to think of men as people, not as pieces of meat or money trees. Besides, I don't need any gifts. I've got more stuff than I can stuff in my tiny apartment already. I'm trying to unload stuff.

And, I'm working 3 jobs and volunteering at my church. I don't have time for some guy who will demand what little time I have for myself.

Answer 10

Would I? Absolutely not. Why? Here's your answer (in my opinion -lol):

In my belief, there are two kinds of women. "Us" and "Them".

We ("us") are the REAL women. Decent, loving, caring and down-to-earth. We don't lie (or tolerate being lied to), cheat (or tolerate being cheated on) or steal (ditto). We're the kind of chicks that are your best friends and best lovers. We're the marrying kind - although that's frequently overlooked as many of you gentlemen seem to prefer complication.

They ("them") are the rest; the ones that are users, gold diggers, game players, liars, cheats, thieves .... etc .... and they give US a bad name!!!!

I - unequivocally and without a doubt - could NEVER lead a man on to get anything. Quite the opposite; I've actually informed men that I would take nothing from them as it's not my style.

... if you have/encounter one of "them" sweetheart? You know it. Get rid of her.

Answer 11

Since your asking about my preference: I hate when people buy things for me--it seems very awkward, superficial and weird.

If a person does buy something for me, I love when it's more of an inside joke or seeing it made them think of me. When I was leaving for a week a friend bought seven boxes of hot tamales for me...one for each day I'd be gone. Another friend bought me a pair of socks that were purple and yellow striped because I wanted the socks off the guys who work the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.

For my friend's birthday I bought him the Animatrix, and a half-pound box of Hot Tamales and wrapped each one individually in red tissue paper to mimic the Oracle in the Matrix Reloaded because he always said he wanted individually wrapped candy like that.

I dunno. Stuff like that I don't mind. I don't want jewelry, chocolate, flowers, clothes, movies, music, etc. Just to know that they thought of me is good enough.