i am having now a marriage proposal from an old friend ... he is very loyal and will be a perfect husband
i don't agree with him regarding some serious points like my working hours after having kids and the kind of job he would like me to be having after marriage
actually i doubt that he likes controlling my life
what do you think i should be doing?!
i am 22 he is 25
he is religious me either we are not going to have sex before marriage but we have seeing each other as friends for years
its hard to find a man like him he was never a playboy
i am now thinking with my mind so don't ask about my feelings
2006-08-30 08:21:39 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my sister~If I understood your sentence, you said you are both "religious". If so, the things that you disagree on are actually things that as a wife, you are called by the Bible to yield to your husband's decision on. As your provider, emotionally, spiritually and financially, through God, he has the final "say" on what you do..and if he loves you and you believe he is whom God has for you, then you should trust that what he wants, is best for you. Its a hard step of faith for most women, because we dont give our husbands that much "credit", but God calls us to yield anyway and trust that HE will take care of the rest. I encourage you both to seek God's Word on your roles in marriage. With Him in the midst, all things are possible.
God bless you and keep you...
2006-08-30 08:30:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
First off, if you have to ask someone else should you marry him, you're already making a BIG mistake. No one on Yahoo Answers can tell you if you love him and no one here can tell you if it's "meant o be". Sure he's honest, loyal,etc...but there's millions of people like that! you said he would be a perfect husband (but would he be a perfect husband for YOU or for someone else?) Every relationship has its differences....you can't agree on EVERYTHING b/c you're two different people! If you really love him, working hours and jobs should be the least of your concerns. However, some stuff like his morals, values, etc you should no before hand b/c you dont want to marry someone who you can't live with for the REST OF YOUR LIFE! That's something you both have to sit down and come to a mutual agreement about. Do that first...you might find that his values and ethics aren't the same as yours!
2016-03-27 01:29:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre still young enough to have plenty of proposals on down the road, so dont be in a hurry unless you love him too. If you dont, then it will never last very long. It will be a one sided relationship and those never make it. Work out the answers to your questions now before accepting so evrything is up and out front so there will be no problems later. Just because he seems like perfect husband material, doesnt necessarily make him one, and at 22, you have a long life ahead of you. Dont be fooled by his "Prince Charming" qualities, because there are many men out there like that and really were frogs. Trust your feelings especially your heart and gut and then use your mind to sort out the facts, both the good and the bad and then decide. Good luck in whichever way you choose
2006-08-30 08:49:45 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never dated and he is asking you to marry him? Sounds fishy to me. Even though you think he would make a great husband, you should probably turn him down. If he's already expressing negativity towards your job and the way you live your life, then he'll probably be worse after marriage. Guys never show their true controlling side until you're "locked" into the relationship. I've been there and it was not a fun situation to deal with. Besides, if you have to ask the question to begin with then you definitely shouldn't do it. Maybe you could convince him to try dating for awhile first if you do care about him, but don't rush right into it. You could end up with something you might regret. Never do anything you are unsure of. Follow your gut as they say.
2006-08-30 08:32:23 · answer #4 · answered by sexy lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well yes he might be a good guy but it still sounds like he is trying to controll your life. Maybe he is a great guy and doesn't want you working many hours after you guys have kids, that great!!! if that's what he means. But no matter how loyal and cute and smart this guy is i would refuse the marriage proposal because like you said you are thinking with your mind. When you marry that special person is because you love them with all your heart. So i don't think you are ready, I don't think he is the one yet maybe you guys should date for a little bit longer and get to know him on a different level, maybe you will fall in love with him. Doesn't seem you are in love with him now. Good luck on whatever you decide to do:)
2006-08-30 12:03:11 · answer #5 · answered by ange!s26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are to many if's in life. If you want to have all of them solved, you will not make any moves. But... something is not feeling right, right?? You still don't know what it is that is stopping you from saying YESSSS, I do. So, give yourself time. You are quite young yet. Even if you know you are mature enough, trust us older people when we say, you are still young.
When the right time and guy comes along, I guess you'll know. Your guts will know. Meanwhile study, meet new friends, party, travel, work, whatever. Once you have married and had kids, that liberty is gone. Not that it's bad, it's just never the same again because you are responsible over other people's life's. Right now it is just about you, and that is great.
2006-08-30 09:05:41 · answer #6 · answered by avll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're telling my story. I told my friend "No." I valued our friendship too much to marry with him with any feelings of reservation.
Just when I thought I'd never marry since I never found anyone I was ever interested in God spoke to me in an audible voice. He told me that I'd soon meet the man I'd marry.
Of course, I could not believe this. I couldn't believe it even more when I met the man. He was the furthest from my idea husband. But through prayer and conversations with God I learned how to rely not on my own understanding. But to rely on God first. We became engaged 3 day after we met and married 1 yr later. My husband and I are best friends with a family. We have been happily married for 11 yrs. Our friends admire our relationship and commitment to each other. If we have any troubles I am always comforted by the knowledge that we married in accordance to God's will. If God is for us then who can be against us?
I would say that before making any decision put it in prayer first.
Hope you have a wonderful life.
2006-08-30 09:04:36 · answer #7 · answered by seekingknowledge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how you view marriage.
Do you think marriage doesn't have to have romantic love and attraction? Do you think it's a practicality, security, and convenience thing? If so, then maybe you should.
Do you think marriage is all about love and romance and sparks? Would you be disatisfied if you didn't feel in love with him? If so, then don't marry him.
Most people in the United States now think marriage has everything to do with love and romance. It wasn't always like this here and it still isn't this way in many other countries in the world. Marriage in many cultures is about security and practicality, not about love.
2006-08-30 08:45:00 · answer #8 · answered by carobygirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you said don't ask about your feelings, but marraige is supposed to be about LOVE! Do you LOVE HIM? Because if you don't, then you shouldn't accept his proposal. If your heart isn't doing it for the right reasons you will only end up unhappy and resentful. And honestly...If you truly loved him you wouldn't have even had to ask the question in the first place. It sounds like you are settling for what you think is the right thing, but believe me, it won't feel like that for long and it will hard to go back once you've taken that step. You want to think with your head, but it's your heart that is going to be in pain if you make the wrong choice. Think about it!
2006-08-30 08:26:38 · answer #9 · answered by Brea1243 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself, why do I like this person and will I be comfortable waking up next to them the rest of your life. At 22, that doesn't seem like a long time and usually people don't even think of settling down for another few years at least.
If you are unsure, then tell him you not ready for marriage but only exclusive dating. People rush into marriage only to regret it later. If you are truly compatible for each other, only time will tell...
2006-08-30 11:24:24 · answer #10 · answered by Deeno 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to say don't ask about your feelings because that is what counts most. If you really care about this person and belive he is the one you want to spend the rest of your then go for it. Don't marry someone because you think he will be good for you. The only way you should marry him is if you are truely in love with him, wake up everyday thinking about him, wait for the phone to ring to hear his voice. Have that feeling in your gut there is no one else out there for you.
2006-08-30 08:30:31 · answer #11 · answered by jess1ferrel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋