I have ;lost the will to get up in th morning. i have lost the will to liv ei think at the moment..?

Question

what can i do ?

no not drunk.. just typing fast,
split from long term relationship (10 years)
and it has hit me hard.. my hair started falling out, I am stressed, angry, alone... and pissed off.. i have my own business, and it is suffering.. I have delt with bad things in the past, another girl who iloved very much died, we where togerther two and a half years, and loved each other a lot, I managed to get over this after many many years.. and i did not take anti depressants, and I really really have no wish to take them either,,

been to africa, and i am not a shallow person .. i really am not , and I do not mean to wallow.. this is quite unlike me.. hence i am asking for help..

Answer 1

You need to slow down for a moment & ask yourself:
Why is it business isn't going well?
Are you giving it your all?
Are paying attention to those who help keep this business afloat?

Why did your last relationship fizzle out?
Were you not interested?
Were you caring about your partners feelings?
Did you know that your partner was unhappy?
Were you just comfortable & not willing to do extra little thoughtful things?
Did you get lazy?
Was your partner lazy?
Did you go out & make special plans for date nights?
Did you help around the house?
Are you taking things for granted.

*If we just leave everything to chance,...
chances are everything would fade away*
Get up & do something about it.
Get happy, force yourself to get out & see things, visit people, family friends.
Dress up a bit feel good about yourself.
DON"T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES OVER & OVER AGAIN.
Life will present the same scenario to you over & over again until you get the life lesson that you were meant to get out of it.
Do you understand that?

Answer 2

Drugs, prescription or otherwise, only address the symptoms. So, although they might give you temporary relief they aren't the answer. Counselling could really help. There's nothing to lose in trying it apart from the nominal cost. All a counsellor will do though is show you that it comes down to perspective. If you can change the way you look at life, the world around you will become a different place. A change in surroundings for a while in the form of a decent holiday might do the trick. But the bottom line is that YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE MOVE. You have to have the will power, although it's difficult, to get out of bed, go to the gym, meet new people, try to find the positive in things and "always look on the bright side of life". Sorry, I nearly broke in to song there. :) B well.

Answer 3

Find someone who can take some of your responsibilitys on re: your business. give you less to stress about and stop it getting worse. People will be more helpful and understanding than you'd expect and it will only take a phone call.

Take care of yourself physically. sleep and eat however much seems right. Your body will be under the strain of the physical symptoms of depression so without wanting to sound like my parents, look after yourself, you'll need your strength.

If you can get motivated to do it, do a little research about depression. i found that knowing it was all a perfectly normal reaction (albeit unpleasant) reassured me that i wasn't crazy, or hopeless. It'll also let you see what to expect.

the best thing anyone ever told me when i was depressed, and it was from my counsellor, was that when your down, being p****d off is a sign that you still care, and if you care enough to be p****d off you can't of given up all hope. let the anger motivate you. Hell, go out and do things in defiance of the depression, give it the proverbial middle finger if it helps you achieve stuff.

and when things get too much, let yourself get upset, angry whatever. Just let it all out, if you bottle it up it'll find another way to surface. As much as its painful, just see it as a process you gotta go through at the moment, and then eventually one day, the world will make (some) sense again, and you'll know where your place is in it.

Just don't be too hard on yourself. Its not a personal weakness, its natures way of processing bad stuff.

Best of luck to you. x

Answer 4

Hey,
don`t be so negative! sometimes in life we just have enough.. i know your feeling like this at the moment but where there is a will there is always a way. We have all been there, though some find it hard to admit. It will be tough at first but you will soon see your worth so much more and you will make it through. There is a herbal remedy you can try even though you can`t be bothered at the moment its called KALMS its for times of increased stress and strain, and no its not anti depressants. Sorry i couldn`t help more, if i had more details i could have helped u. Good luck u will get through this xx

Answer 5

I have felt like this before and not over anything dramatic. I think you will find that you have to realise that life does go on and no matter how you feel at the moment things still need to be done. IE I have 3 kids to look after which is the only reason I got through it as quick as I did. Although you do not want anti D's you may find you need something to give you a lift. Perhaps you should try a herbal remedy. Holland and Barrett are normally very helpful. They should be able to suggest something for your depression as well as your hair loss. hope you get through this very soon as it is not nice to be as low as you. Please try and get up so you can get to grips on work not let the business fall apart.and also keep your mind occupied

Answer 6

I really feel deeply for your situation. You are obviousely very low at the moment and it can be hard to pick yourself up when you are at the bottom. The only thing I can say to you is, it does get better with each day that passes. It helps to learn from it and try to understand the reasons for it happening rather than placing the blame. If you can see it as one of lifes learning curves to make sure you get it right for when the real one comes allong. Remember that everyone goes through it at some time or other and they survive. You probably need to work on your self confidence as it will have taken a beating, and tell yourself that the right one is out there, waiting for when you are ready :-}

Answer 7

You may have dealt with bad things in the past but the point is that your not dealing with things this time. I think a visit to your GP would be a good idea. I understand that anti-depressants aren't for everyone but don't rule them out completely there is no shame in taking them. Maybe natural remedys like reiki or accupunture could help relieve some of your stress. Surround yourself with friends and family for support and above all know this you can get through this its just all part of the process. Good Luck.

Answer 8

If you want to wallow, wallow - that's my advice. Sometimes you need to do this instead of thinking you should get a grip etc, etc. Be patient with yourself - you've had a whole lot going wrong, but see if you can focus on the thought that nothing lasts for ever - one day you will open your eyes and things will seem a little better. They really will and that day will definitely come - just keep trying to hold on to the thought and be good to yourself meanwhile. Good luck - you will come out the other side in the end.

Answer 9

Sounds like you need to visit your local doctor and ask for some antidepressants. Dont' worry, its just enough to get you thru this bad time in your life.

Any relationship that dies after 10 years is going to be painfull- I would be more concerned if you DIDN'T feel pain- its a greaving process, you'll get over it.

Got some good news for you- no mater what happens, you will be hundreds of times stronger from this pain once its all over ok? :) I PERSONALLY promise you this- even tho when the Army Chaplin told me that at the time, years ago I didnt' believe it. I make the same promise to you now that he made to me 30 years ago- you WILL be hundreds of times stronger.

Good Luck- Larry the Orc

Answer 10

Probably seek professional help or get some books on loss and find some coping mechanisms to relieve your depression. Also get out and exercise, eat right, avoid alcohol and drugs and find a new girlfriend. There are more fish out there in the sea and there is someone out there just for you. Make a plan to get better and strengthen your attitude.

Answer 11

The right answer is for you to get someone to talk to who has experience with these issues. I'm a psychotherapist but would not give you some kind of "universal advice" that fits all the words you use to describe your pain. I strongly urge you to get into therapy for a while. It doesn't mean that you're crazy by going--you'd be making a mistake not to go. This is truly the best advice I can offer.