last thurs my boss sexually harrrassed me and now i am lookingv for a new job. i went to a gret interview and think i aced it.4 diff ppl interviewed me and the vibes just felt right. they even wrote me to tell me they really like me. back to my boss, he was actually the witness to my wedding!!!! now i have a dillema if i get this job how do i leave w/o feeling like abandoned my other co-workers especially because i am the only one in my area.working here is morbid for me. i wanted to quit when it happened but i have to pay the bills. also i have documented letters he sent me in reference to him being in love with me. How do i leave w/o my office looking down on me and not giving me a good reference
2006-08-30 07:50:22 · 10 answers · asked by Babylove 1 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
That's a tough one. Didn't you report the incident to HR management or someone? Has anyone else in the office ever complained about the boss's behavior? Did you tell your husband about this? The man needs to be stopped witness or not at your wedding. What he did was wrong. You have letters where he's said he's in love with you. Have you tried to tell him you don't feel this way and to stop?
Explain to your co-workers that you were no longer happy in your present job because, name a few things that has nothing to do with them or the boss. Perhaps make it appear that you need a higher paying job, etc.
But back to the boss...you really should report him to HR management and let them see his letters to you...that should be proof enough he's acting irresponsible as a boss.
Good luck
2006-08-30 07:57:14 · answer #1 · answered by BevD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Best bet is to ask your manager for a good referance. If he says no than say exactly what you told us here. You no longer feel comfortable in this work environment and that you feel you were sexually harassed with the letters and such. If you don't get this new job you will be forced to file a complaint to get finacial compencation for lost work. For the co-workers I would tell some you are leaving but not say the true reason. Other wise if you don't provide a public complaint on that issue your (old) boss could come at you and sue for slander of character. Many people move jobs or change so I am sure your co-employees will miss you and not look down upon you.
2006-08-30 15:06:53 · answer #2 · answered by Mark S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Go and report your boss, either a lawyer or HR, keep the letters, they are your proof.
2) Tell the people you interviewed with the reason you are living
3) Tell the people you work with, that the new company made you an offer you can't refuse, you will really miss them and want to keep in touch.
4) I am sure the people that you are friends with and work with will not give you a bad reference because you are leaving.
Then leave, you have no reason not to go.
2006-08-30 15:02:17 · answer #3 · answered by starting over 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would report him to HR if I were you; also, you may need to get a lawyer to protect your rights. No matter what the relationship, it is NEVER ok to harass another, or to feel the way in which you are, as the result of such. In addition, if you feel as though you need to locate another job, I would do so. Like it or not, you can be easily replaced--your department will not suffer!. As far as a reference, I am sure that there are other people in the office with whom you have a good working relationship.
Lastly, are you still married? I am sure that your spouse would like to know about the situation.
2006-08-30 15:01:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, you can be very clear to a few friends in the office: :I am leaving because the boss has sexually harassed me. that'll get around, and it's possible he's done it with others.
second, don't use this man as a reference unless you're certain he'll give a good one. if the new employer wonders why you're not using him as a reference, just be honest.
2006-08-30 14:58:13 · answer #5 · answered by jezebelring 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the first thing you should do is report him. tell your husband (assuming you're married), and a lawyer. Show the letters. And the police.
Don't feel bad about leaving a place like that--he was ugly for doing that to you. Get away from him.
2006-08-30 14:54:46 · answer #6 · answered by browneyzz90 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a horrible situation. Discuss it with an attorney. Good Luck. Take the new job and start enjoying life and a new career.
2006-08-30 14:59:22 · answer #7 · answered by Dwayne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry about what anyone thinks, you need to get out of that environment. and if you went to a great interview, don't worry about them not giving you a good reference, employers may not contact references if they already think you are quailfied for the job. you are doing the right thing!!
2006-08-30 14:58:27 · answer #8 · answered by *~HoNeYBeE~* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with everyone else up to a point... Did you tell your boss not to discuss this with you and he continued to? If so, that is sexual harrassment. If not, it really isn't. Talk to your human resorce people about it...
2006-08-30 15:04:00 · answer #9 · answered by Ragman9432 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
none of that should matter if you're uncomfortable with your boss, which you should be. Its sad, but let it go, its not your fault. People can think what they want, its not up to you.
2006-08-30 14:57:11 · answer #10 · answered by Hans B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋