I want a divorce from my husband, but all I can think about is the kids, what's the soft way out for the kids

Answer 1

No matter how you phrase it, it is going to affect your children. Just keep reassuring them that both mommy and daddy love them very much and the divorce isn't their fault. Try to be amicable with your husband in front of the children and under no circumstances should you speak disparagingly about him in front of your kids.

Answer 2

You would do well to research the statistics of how kids do when their parents divorce. It's not good at all. It affects children more than was previously thought. Who is more important here? You, and what you want, or your kids lives. If your husband is not abusive, not a druggie or alcoholic, and has a job, you should go to counseling and try to work things out. Learn to love and accept one another again. You will be happier in the long run. Believe me, I've been through this stuff before, and just getting away from a husband does automatically "make" one happy. We are responsible for our own happiness, it's no one else's responsibility. You can find things you enjoy doing to get happiness, but no one is happy 24-7. Your problems will just follow you if you leave. Please, get counseling first.

Answer 3

Well.. remember, going through a divorce is going to be tough on all of you. Your soon to be ex-husband, you and the kids.

The soft way is for you and your husband to work something out so the transition for the kids is smooth. You're going to have to make some compromises with your husband on many issues and those should be handled in private between you and him and maybe legal council. I would recommend that you honestly communicate to the kids of why you and daddy are not going to be together, but make sure you let them know the positives of the change you are making. Things like, they will still be able to see dad and spend time with him or do special things. Don't sugar coat it, but don't smoke screen it.

Keep the kids involved with school functions or misc. activities. The busier they are, the less of an impact it will have on them. Make sure you are spending quality time with them too! Kids imaginations can put a tough spin on it.

Hang in there.. I feel for you!

Answer 4

Why do you want a divorce? There is no "soft way out". Divorce damages kids. I know my mother and father divorced when I was a kid and my two brothers have been very damaged by it.
It is better to get counciling and work things out between you.
If there is someone else....get rid of him, do all that you can to reconcile. If that doesn't work you will just have to tell the kids the truth. Believe me they know there is trouble in the home.

Answer 5

I struggled with that for a lot of time before I filed for divorce. I found out that my wife didn't want to be with me in the "biblical sense" and I thought it was me and tried to get help first I found a therapist and then tried and begged her to go for couples therapy. But she refused and finally after 4 years of trying I had a very brief affair tried again for couples therapy but didn't work since she had such anger issues. I was treated as a single parent and knowing the courts are biased towards the fathers I stayed but it was not worth it. The best way for your children is to understand this fact. Your marriage relationship is not the same as the parent-children relationship. To save them from the pain of divorce try to seek out a shared parenting plan because the kids don't know or shouldn't know why you to are getting a divorce. As far as the kids are concerned that Dad and mom are just that dad and mom. If you can't find common ground try seeking out a parent coordinator to come up with a plan for the kids and your children will be alright because they have both parents in their lives.

Answer 6

Divorce can be hard, on adults and children. Most children do better raised in a happy home than one in which the parents do not have respect and love for each other. The children do not have to grow up without a dad. They have a dad; their dad just does not happen to live with their mom.

It will be fine. If your husband cares about the kids as much as you seem to, then they will be just fine.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I tried the soft way for the kids...forget it. Everyone told me they all eventually get ugly, I believe that now. I waited way too long to get him to agree to a seperation, he strung me along, the kids were worried all the time and we ended up in divorce court anyway. Believe it when people say there is no easy way for any of you, it's hard, some days worse than others. Get counseling, keep telling your kids how much you love them and never bad mouth their father. Thats hard for me considering the situation he left me in but I don't, no matter what. Good Luck

Answer 8

Speaking from experience there is no soft way out for the children.
If you are serious than proceed, always talk to your children never put their dad down and get them into some kind of counseling.
Always be there for them and try to have a amicable relationship with their dad all that will help them adjust. Do not give up on discipline even if you are trying to over compensate keep it as normal as possible. In time you all will move on fromit.
Good Luck sweetie and lots of love to your children!

Answer 9

Its never going to be easy on them. We sat our kids down and told them that we were going to get a divorce. That we no longer loved each other as a husband and wife should but that we loved them the same as ever and that nothing would change about that. What you have to do is make sure that both parents are involved in there lives. Both with equal time or whatever is best for the both of you. I have physical custody but I have never not aloud them to go see there dad when he has asked for them. They call him all the time, and my son has recently asked to move with dad, that was hard but you do what is best for them, its not about you and him and what is between you two.

Answer 10

The worse thing you could do, is stay for the kids. Kids know more than you think. Dont you think they would rather see mom & dad happy apart than miserable together? The kids will be fine. The adjustment is hard for everyone, but they will make it just fine. Make sure you talk to them and get them to open up and talk about their feelings. Be open with your kids, dont hide the situation of what mom & dad are going through. And most of all, let them know how much they are loved by mom & dad.

Answer 11

If you do get divorced, for your relationship with the kids I would suggest the following;
1. Never talk to your kids about your spouse in a negative manner.
2. Try to respect their feelings and give them an outlet for them.
3. Respect your spouse, he is the father of your children.
This way, your children will respect you in the long run, even if they don't yet understand the intricacies of adult relationships yet.