My wife asked me to leave last night. She needs some time apart from me to think about things. Is there hope

Question

I recently found out that quite frequently when I am out of town or leave the house on an errand, my wife spends time on the phone with her boss. This even goes on during the weekend. I just think it's odd and definitely unprofessional. She says that he is like a father figure to her and I am crazy for feeling upset by this. He is fat, bald, not attractive and 25 or more years older than her. I have repeatedly told her that this doesn't make me happy. So after doing this again last night, I got to spend the night at the hotel. Am I crazy for feeling the way I do?

Answer 1

Even though it might be painful, you should give her the space she thinks she needs. Try to be supportive. I know it's corny but "if it's meant to be, it'll be." Tell her again how you feel and explain to her that if she needs some time you'll give it to her. Best of luck!

Answer 2

To reiterate what some others have said, in the future, don't leave your house; if she needs to "think about things," she can find her own space for that. Stand up for yourself.

How her boss looks probably doesn't matter. Men tend to have affairs because of the excitement of the sex. Women, however, tend to have affairs because of the way the man makes them feel. Obviously, her boss makes her feel good, special, maybe even loved. If she's not cheating on you sexually, she is cheating on you emotionally.

Stop tolerating it. Tell her how what she's doing makes you feel. Own your anger and don't let her push you around emotionally.

Answer 3

Let them have each other...mind you he could be a friend too. I had a friend for several years who was a bit older than me by 17 years and its was all platonic all those years. I coulnt see him anymore because my current bfs jealousy issues, so now I havent seen my friend in almost a year.
So whatever, take a break, this might GODS way of letting you know there is something or someone else better out there for you.
Dont fret, she isnt the only woman in the world.

Answer 4

No you arent crazy. She is cheating on you, even if she has not had sex with him. By talking to her boss about your marriage, etc even though you asked her NOT to, she is cheating on you. She does not care about your feelings. DONT stay in a motel because she has no right to throw you out of your own house! If she is upset she can sleep on the couch, she cant kick you out and vice versa if the house is in both of your names. Tell her that she has no respect for you if she would continue talking to her boss outside of work, when you have told her it upsets you! Have a friend follow her for a few days with a camera to see if she is having sex with the boss, you can use it against her in a divorce.

Answer 5

Counseling is definitely need in this household. Ask her what she wants from you? Ask her is she still in love with you? Try and sit down, and calmly talk about your situation. May be when you and her is together, make the time together romantic, bring home dinner, or take her out to a romantic setting, try and surprise her at times, if none of these works, then, don't waste your time, Find some one who will make you happy, you are important too.

Answer 6

If she needs for you to go to think, then it might as well be over. When there is problems in a marraige, you talk! You dont ask the other person to leave so you can think.....duh..... The love is there or its not. If its over, then its over.
Just simply ask her if she loves you and does she want the marriage to work. Jealousy is a terrible thing and with it in the relationship, it will put doubt where it doesnt belong.
Good luck!

Answer 7

if your wife is more interested in her boss, than her husbands feelings, there is definetly a problem there. at the very least its unproffesional, at the most, she is letting it come between her marriage. maybe you should forget the hotel, and get an apartment, and find someone who thinks YOU are the most important person in HER life. someone who will make you happy. and by the way , she is the crazy one!

Answer 8

Mike, it might be possible that he is fulfilling something that she is not getting from you. We all go to different people when we have different problems. Some questions are best asked to friends, others are for the wife or girlfriend. If everything else seems okay, then why is this upsetting you?

Answer 9

It looks like she is being manipulated by ability of the pastor, who could be utilising her ailment against her. i understand that her having this affliction is complicated and that i'm specific you will possibly do something to help her, yet going to this church won't help her along with her MS. you will take the brunt of helping her manage the affliction, and its purely going to worsen. i do no longer think of you're being egocentric, you could desire to be solid to handle this too. in basic terms be sure its a determination you could stay with. i'm athiest and would not have given an opinion in this aside from the undeniable fact that my step-father had MS and diesd from heart failure some years in the past. It became very complicated on my mom and her faith fairly helped her by using.

Answer 10

#1 - go find your balls and sew them back on.
#2 - she wants alone time let her sleep in the damn hotel
#3 - hire the nastiest lawyer in town BEFORE she does.
#4 - prepare yourself mentally -- your marriage is done. If you decide to leave, move EVERYTHING that belongs to you with you. Close ALL credit card accounts that have her name on them, close your joint checking and savings accounts and write her a check for half of the money from your NEW account. Hang on, it's gonna get rough as hell for awhile.