my in-laws are hard to please, and i always feel like they are looking down on me with jobs, money and the way i deal with things sometimes with me and my husband. i try really hard to get on with them but have now stopped going round to avoid the ****. any suggestions on how i can get on with them or just survival tips to make life easier?!! ;-)
2006-08-30 06:51:01 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Keep avoiding it. You don't to put up with garbage.
2006-08-30 06:59:17 · answer #1 · answered by Bullwinkle Moose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel ya. I can't stand my in-laws! I wish I never had to have anything to do with them again! They treated my husband terribly when he was growing up and it makes me sick to be in the same room with them. Thank goodness they live 3 hours away! Best thing you can do is, if you CAN NOT get along with them then have a good talk with your husband about your feelings on the matter. Let him know that you would never expect him, or try and force him to be around your family if he didn't want to be. So he shouldn't expect that from you. Tell him you will do your best to be civil, but letting him spend time with his family without you would be best for everyone. And if your in-laws have a problem with it, that they should take it up directly with you. Don't put your husband in the middle of anything. That is a bad place for him to be, and let him know that. He will enjoy himself alot more when spending time with this family if he is alone because then he won't have to worry about them offending you or vice versa.
2006-08-30 06:56:10 · answer #2 · answered by Snow 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are sucking up to them because you want to make sure that you and your spouse are in line for their inheritance, don't bother.
You've tried and they haven't responded in kind. Some people are not happy unless they have something to complain about, and life is too short to waste your energy on people like that.
If and when you have children, make it know that you demand to be treated with respect and you want the same for your kids or they can kiss their visiting privileges goodbye.
Good luck sweetie, and don't take any of what they say or do personally. They sound like generally unhappy people. Most parents would be thrilled their child found true love and that they gained a new son or daughter.
2006-08-31 01:06:11 · answer #3 · answered by clacroix00132 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God.....I have had this problem for 3 years, I would go as far as to say I detest the outlaws.
They cause so many problems with me and my partner and sometimes I feel like leaving because they wind me up so much. They are rude and interrupt me, ask me to sit aside while they take family photo's, Even though I am the mother of their granchildren, turn up unexpectedly at our home, even though we've asked them to call first.
I just have to keep my distance from them, let my kids see them but avoid all contact, be civil if I do see them and try not to engage in conversation about them.
I sympathise with you...it's an uncomfortable situation to be in.
Good Luck.
2006-08-30 07:01:12 · answer #4 · answered by Gypsie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T CARE ! just do what you need to do. Concentrate on your life with your husband and be happy. The more you care and get effected by your in-laws way of dealing, the more they will get the power.
If it is possible then move away somewhere else with your husband and start a quite life together.
2006-08-30 06:57:02 · answer #5 · answered by dotab 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I like about this site is that it shows I'm not alone. The only thing I dread more than my in laws is a raging bout of diarrohea!
My survival tips... Keep your head down, nose clean...and when they have a dig...keep your dignity...
One day it'll all pay off, and they decide that you've successfully undergone your 'initiation' ceremony to become one of 'the family'... smile sweetly and simply say, 'No thanks'... Thats exactly where I'm at now. And, I have to say its quite nice having the upper hand in the situation...
Also they live at the other end of the country, which helps immensely
2006-08-30 08:13:13 · answer #6 · answered by Bodieann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
survival tip - hire a hit man
There probably is no pleasing them. I've had mine for 22 years and tried very hard for at least 12 years to do all that I could. I went out of my way. The moment I started being a ***** to her.. paying her NO attention life got way better.
Give her a taste of her own medicine.
2006-08-30 06:59:57 · answer #7 · answered by puresatin03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't talk about money or your personal dealings with your husband. They don't need to know that. If they ask about your job talk about something positive about your job. An accomplishment, new co-worker something good.
If they are the type to talk behind your back the less they know the better. Stick to general conversations.
Does you husband know they are making you uncomfortable? He should be standing up for you.
2006-08-30 07:00:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The famous In-Law question....LOL.....I know where you are coming from. I don't get along with mine either. This is really your husband's issue to solve, because you don't owe them anything or really have any kind of connection with them other than your husband. My husband has cut all ties with his complete family because they are so back-stabbing to me. He said that once he married me that I was his family now .....so talk with your husband and just let him know that you don't want to be around them.....don't stop him however from going around them if he wishes to continue a relationship with them.....Good luck
2006-08-30 07:03:31 · answer #9 · answered by dixiegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't win, so stop trying. If they're not prepared to accept you the way you are, get used to it and avoid them.
Don't put up with it. You can only please one person and it might as well be yourself. It really makes no difference. Be polite, but that's it.
Truly, just pretend they're distant relatives, like annoying aunts who take off their clothes in public. Be polite, but distant. That way you won't get emotionally involved. Your sanity will stay intact, if nothing else.
2006-08-30 06:59:42 · answer #10 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they can't accept you for who you are then you shouldn't care what they think about you. What gives them the right to judge you? If they treat you like crap then give it right back to them. Don't want to deal with all that, then stay away from them and act as if they do not exist. Life is too short for rude people!
2006-08-30 06:57:38 · answer #11 · answered by mia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋